How to uninvite a coworker that quit

Sense you guys didn't get along in the first place, she probably wasn't planning on coming when you gave her the STD. I wouldn't count on her to come!

Yeah, just forgo the actual invite. Enough time will have passed - and if she's not communicating with you anyway I doubt there would be hard feelings.

That’s the thing though... i didn’t like her And I’m pretty sure she didn’t love me, but she’s one of those people that tries to be too nice and even when she quit she said “I’ll see you at the wedding!” And she always asked me about it

I would just forget about including her anymore, and if she do happen to ask you some how just say you went over budget and there's no space to have her come anymore

I would un-invite her and just be honest that you guys aren't very close and that's what you want your wedding to be.

Don’t send the invite. In the end it is your wedding and your decision. Only surround yourself with who you want there

Send her the invitation. She will likely decline. An unfortunate lesson for you: Do not extend invitations to people you do not know well and socialize with outside of work, or school, or relatives and friends of family you have never been at all close to, but feel you "ought to" invite. Meanwhile, at least have the integrity to send an invitation, since you already sent a Save the Date. This should also be a lesson to anyone reading: do not send Save the Dates to any but the most essential people in your life long term, or those you feel comfortable having make very expensive possibly non-refundable travel arrangements way in advance. Anyone asks, though it is none of their business, why person X got one and they didn't, the answer is, we did not send them to most people we are inviting, only a few who need far advance reason for planning purposes. This is why for a century past, advance invitations were only given verbally or in a private written communication. The new commercial "STD" that appeared less than 20 years ago are designed as another product the wedding industry makes money from. They are not necessary, and give a far too early official invitation in many cases. Informal communication gets the message to essential people, that is enough.

Don’t send the invite and leave it at that 😬

Send the invite. Or tell her you changed your mind. I don't think it's right to send a std and then not say anything afterwards. She probably won't go

Send the invite. If she doesn’t want to come, she can decline. Anyone who received a STD should also receive an invitation.

The fact that she said she’ll see you at the wedding and asked about it pretty much says that she’s expecting an invitation. It would be pretty rude to send her a save the date but not an invitation. Also, who knows... maybe the feeling isn’t mutual and she actually really likes you. Then you would’ve just plain hurt her feelings. Invite her, if she doesn’t like you, she wouldn’t come. If she comes then she wants to celebrate with you so take it as a blessing and be thankful that you have one more person who wants to be there to witness an important moment in your life, no matter how much you don’t like her.

Unless there is absolutely no possibility of any sort of fallout, career wise or socially, and you don't care at all about her, just send the invitation. If you choose to not send the invitation and she contracts you about her missing one (remember she's saving the date and expecting it) are you prepared to handle that.

What if she assumes that her invitation was lost in the mail and shows up? What are the chances of running into her during real life, grocery shopping, a restaurant, etc? Other than your boss do you have acquaintances in common? Is there a chance she'll say something to someone about your choice and it could get back to you? Are there business/industry relationships that could be damaged if she shared with the wrong person? What is the chance that she'll stop into the office for some reason?

I'd just invite her, thank her for coming (if she does) and then move on with life. You are talking about 1 (or 2 if she has a SO) person out of all your guests

You created this situation by inviting someone you don't even like to your wedding. She won't forget, she mentioned the wedding when she left. Not sending an invitation would be incredibly rude, and it's no fault of this woman that you gave her a pity invitation. Whatever bad thoughts this woman had about you will be confirmed by your inappropriate behavior. Do the right thing and send the invitation.

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This! She sounded like she was looking forward to coming to your wedding. There are plenty of people I work with that I'm not fond of that oddly like me. I have no idea why but they are the older ladies that I think look at any of us that are younger than them and get that motherly feeling about us lol. You already gave her an STD. Send the invite and be happy you have people who want to come.

To start, I understand that etiquette is etiquette. HOWEVER, that doesn't make it what's right for you. I personally think a lot of etiquette is out-dated. There's not one right way to do things. Just because others (clearly) think that you should do one thing, doesn't mean you have to.

I personally feel like the money is coming out of your pocket, and you haven't and don't foresee yourself having a relationship with this woman before your wedding...don't send it. If she even remembers about it and gets upset that she wasn't invited, will it ruin your day? If not, don't send it and move on with your life. lol I'm a firm believer in doing what makes you happy and what's best for you as long as it isn't with mal intent and you are killing someone or being damaging to another person. Will she be upset? If she remembers, maybe. But she'll get over it. That's the greatest thing about life. We make our own decisions. Do you girl, do you!

View Quoted Comment Common courtesy will never be outdated. Rather, people’s sense of entitlement becomes so ridiculously huge that they think basic decency doesn’t apply to them simply because they chose to get married.

View Quoted Comment There are traditions that are outdated. Most were not ever dictated by etiquette, but remnants of varying cultural traditions from various segments of society. But what you are advocating is narcissism: Me, me me, me first and always, so what if someone else is hurt by what I carelessly did, I don't care because my life and me are all that matter. Glad you are a stranger to me and my friends and family, who all value kindness, decency, compassion, and integrity, taking responsibility for what one does, which are the basis for actual rules if etiquette. Things not covered in your "think of only yourself" mindset.

If something happened and your economic situation has resulted in you tightening the belt on wedding finances, then I wouldn’t advice you to make your economic situation worse in defence of etiquette. But, if it’s just that you now realize how much this is costing you, I would advice you and your FH to sit down and seriously review your budget. You don’t want this stressing you out closer to the date if some unanticipated wedding finances pop up at the last second. I refused to invite people out of obligation for these reasons.

In a follow up to my comment, an option you could also explore is a second list of invites, provided you receive enough declines. You’d have to make sure the timing works with your RSVPs, but you could do it If you want her there but don’t have the budget for it currently. It’s possible this person will decline if she doesn’t know anyone else at the wedding except her former boss, but if you send an invite, you should assume the person will attend. Don’t hope for declines! Hope this helps.

Ugh. I can definitely see both sides of this situation. I honestly think you need to send her and her spouse an invitation and hope she declines. If she said something to you as she was leaving...she will not forget about it. Its not her fault that you sent her a STD. Who knows what plans she may have cancelled or not made on that day because she was saving the date for your wedding.