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Devoted September 2019

How to treat the no Rsvpers

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Hannah, on July 22, 2019 at 6:04 PM

So originally, I thought it would be nice and easy to have a seating chart board with names listed out underneath their designated table —- but I know my guests and I KNOW they will bring people who weren’t invited - it’s to be expected. But I don’t want those people taking seats from people who were actually on our guest list. So therefore I’m going to do individual name cards. Luckily the venue has a lot of extra chairs - so I just need to think of a way to get the message across that if they weren’t invited, they have to pull a chair and squeeze with the person they came with, and will have to use a paper plate from the buffet line instead of the nice plates that we will be setting the tables with. Any suggestions - or do you think they will just get the point?

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26 Comments

Savvy August 2019
Amanda · on July 23, 2019 at 12:06 AM
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I don't understand how you can make them take a paper plate over the nice plates? Believe me, I get what you're saying (and am honestly thinking of doing the same thing), but how do you enforce that? Is someone going to be there to watch who takes which plate? I honestly want to tell those who didn't RSVP, or who brought extra guests, to just leave. But I don't want to cause a scene and seem like a b****. It sucks because we are having a plated dinner instead of a buffet. I don't want the extra people to take away the food and place settings of those who took the time to RSVP. Idk what to do either.
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Master September 2019
Sherry · on July 23, 2019 at 9:51 AM
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I have people that haven't even RSVP'd for themselves yet saying they will be bringing people that were not only not invited but people I don't even know. It is so frustrating! Granted, the reception part won't be an issue as the food is a buffet and you seat yourself and we will have extra seating but the ceremony is limited seating so anyone not invited or anyone that shows up without RSVP'ing will be standing-possibly in the hallway lol
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Dedicated October 2019
STBMrsMartin · on July 23, 2019 at 11:05 AM
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I totally get where you are coming from on this. My uncle has told me that I HAD to invite his friends (UMM NO I DON'T) grant you his wife and son are in my wedding, but I don't appreciate anyone telling me who I need to invite. We will have limited space 125 is all my venue will hold and I have invited exactly 125 people....so with that being said, we are having my coordinator kindly ask them to leave if I notice one of them are there and shouldn't be. Our venue has a bar next door for the public and a restaurant...so we have already decided that they will be removed and told if they want to be there they can go there and my uncle can go with them. Its not being rude, you have something specifically planned out and you are limited. I can tell you now that my father will not pay for an extra head of a guest who I don't want there...so if it makes you happy to make them squeeze in and eat off paper plates, honey do it bc I know exactly how you feel.
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Beginner October 2020
Angel · on July 23, 2019 at 11:11 AM
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Personally I informed all of my family members uninvited guests need to be run by me. I am giving my venue a list of people invited so they can verify everyone. I think it’s rather disrespectful when you have to pay for everyone coming and uninvited people add on to the cost.
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Devoted November 2019
Nicole · on July 23, 2019 at 11:15 AM
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I've heard of people having a separate table for "surprise" guests (people who weren't invited or folks who didn't RSVP but showed up anyway).
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Super October 2020
Ashley · on July 23, 2019 at 1:16 PM
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This is what I am doing. It is partly why I am thinking escort cards so that our greeter can see if they pick up a name or not.
If you are set on allowing them to stay then they sit at a table that is in the back that is for those who did not RSVP/uninvited. They get served last and only what is left.
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