How to throw a rehearsal dinner?

You should pay for the rehearsal dinner. It should be immediate family, bridal party and OOT guests. It is up to your discretion whom you invite. Try to find a restaurant that has a back room or a space that you can have to yourself.

As far as the guest list goes, it's up to whoever is paying. Traditionally it's anyone who was invited to the rehearsal (bridal party, any other attendants, parents, and grandparents) but can also be extended to all out of town guests.

If you hold a rehearsal, you do have to have a dinner -- but it could be something as casual as BBQ at someone's house. No matter what you do, your guests should not have to pay for it.

A really great way to get helpful feedback is to post that you were bashed and abused by WW bullies the last time you posted.

"Traditionally" the grooms family takes care of the rehearsal dinner but since y'all are paying for the whole wedding, it'll be your tab. Like a PP said, you can just have a cookout or something like that. My sister did a fish fry at their house for the rehearsal dinner and it was better than being at a restaurant. Also check with your venue about their options. My hotel is cutting us a deal if we decide to have our rehearsal dinner at the restaurant there. It's considered part of the wedding package.

No, you can't have everyone go dutch for the rehearsal dinner. The host should pay. Keep in mind it's not necessary, so if budget is an issue consider not having one.

For the guest list - the minimum is the bridal party (and their dates/significant others) and the immediate family. You can also invite out of town guest, less-than-immediate family, and close friends, but that is optional.

ETA for clarity.

I agree with Marisa and Mrs P. Look for a buffet option if its cheaper or host some catering at wherever you're staying - i.e. Rental house bbq perhaps. Seen both these Been successful.

Oh FFS - "Bullies"? Yeah, that's really going to get you helpful responses here.

I'm in the same boat. We found a pizza place close by so we are doing pizza and beer. I would have preferred a cookout but we are at the hotel the night before and it's about an hour away. We don't have it in the budget to do much more. We are only inviting the people who are attending the actual rehearsal, and their dates. Good luck with whatever you decide

We're doing pizza and beer by the pool at the vacation rental the night before. FH's mom is paying - she offered. If your FIL's havent offered, dont ask. We invited only the wedding party and their SOs (and flower girl/ring bearer's mom and dad), plus immediate family - parents, siblings, grandparents.

Rehearsal dinners should be paid by you (not dutch). You don't have to invite OOT (out of town) guests and you can save money by having it be less formal than your wedding. Pizza, burgers, tacos-- you just want to go over the day-of details, thank people (give your bridal party/parents their gifts if you don't want to do it on your wedding day), and provide a meal. I've only been to one and it was much less formal than the wedding.

Hey! I'm a May 2017 bride too! I'm going to politely suggest that if you stick around for the next year and post discussions, you will need to develop a thicker skin. I read through your old post, and I don't think you were bullied. I'm sorry if you felt attacked, but the people on here WILL tell you like it is. They will tell you if you are doing something against the norm/proper wedding etiquette. I also thought there was a lot of helpful advice on your post too! We don't always agree, but bully I feel is too strong a word for what transpired on your post.

As for this one--the rehearsal dinner is a way to thank your bridal party for attending your rehearsal. If you don't rehearse, don't feel obligated to have one. If you hold a rehearsal, then you gotta have one. And you gotta foot the bill. There is nothing wrong with not having one. And there is also nothing wrong with a laid back, intimate very non formal rehearsal dinner of pizza and beer. Or a cookout. Don't feel the need to go all out with a fancy dinner at a restaurant or hotel if it is not in your budget. The only people that have to be invited are the people in your bridal party (it's nice to extend to their S.O.s). Many people will add immediate family or OOT to their guest list, but you certainly do not have to do so. Good luck and happy planning.

You could do a potluck and everyone brings a dish.

No Kayla, you can't. If you have a rehearsal, you host it, no matter how simple.

Well, I was going to help; but not anymore with that attitude. I don't want my constructive comments to be misconstrued for "bullying" or "bridal bashing". You are on your own.

I hope Kayla is trolling...she also suggested potluck on the family style thread, after the OP had stated she'd booked a venue with choice of buffet or family style...

Constructive criticism doesn't have to be mean @originalaKD.

Seriously, Kayla? No.

I read your other post. There was absolutely nothing mean on it. The bulk majority of responses were very supportive of you. The only thing that could be taken as even remotely negative was that you shouldn't throw your own engagement party (which is true - it is impolite for the couple to host it).

ETA: I'm going to have to ask you to stop bullying us by saying we are bridal bashing you when no such activity took place

I've read both posts and can't find anything "mean" in either of them. Even when someone like Kayla decides to announce potluck as a solution which is a cardinal sin of WW if there ever was one.

Christine- I have seen it done many ways, but it always just included the bridal party and close family/friends. Never have I seen it where the entire guest list was invited. I HAVE seen it done potluck (didn't bother me to bring a dish to a BBQ that the groom was grilling for us) and I have been to an extravagant sit-down. The prior was when I was in college and a couple 20 year-old friends were getting married. The latter was when a wealthy pair of 40-somethings got married. I was fine either way and didn't get offended at bringing a dish because I love the couple and it was about finding out what my role was during the ceremony, then relaxing and enjoying everyone's company.

However, I never actually had to pay for a meal at a restaurant for it. It is about your style, your crowd, and how you want it to be. You know your friends and family best and what will and will not fly with them.

For me, it will just be the bridal party, their SO's, our kids, our officiant (a good friend of ours) and my Godmother. FH's parents live 2 hours away and will not be attending the rehearsal. We have chosen to go to beer and pizza (well, for them, since I am kind of freaking out about my dress right now). We will host that. I am certain my Godmother will try to pay, but I don't want her to.