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Super September 2012

How to tell someone you don't want their gift? (Its not as bad as it sounds lol) KINDA LONG

ShaTerra, on August 19, 2012 at 3:05 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

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I have this female that was my best friend In 7th grade. As time progressed, I moved away and we parted ways but still kept In contact. She never once came to any of my events I invited her to and we rarely saw each other and still don't but I was always there for her. Granted, she's never had a car and we love an hr apart now but she has family that lives In my city. She's came to see them sometimes but never made an attempt to visit me. So still me being the kindhearted person I am, I extend an invite to my wedding. She shoots me down with ”I'm not sure if we'll come because our baby will be born”. Now mind you, her baby's due date was July, our wedding is September. I'm frustrated at that point but I sat ok whatever. My last straw was when I asked her to let me know when her baby shower was so I could come with a gift. She said it was canceled then on Facebook I see her post about it and I was like ”Wow, I wasn't invited”. Of course she apologizes but still no invite. At that point

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Puffins, on August 19, 2012 at 4:09 PM

Super September 2012
ShaTerra · on August 19, 2012 at 3:08 PM
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(cont'd) I'm fed up so I delete her and ignore her messages or send her one word answers when she contacts me. Now today she texts me and asks me where I'm registered and I don't want to tell her. I didn't send her an invitation. Is there a polite way to turn someone down?
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Master August 2013
Michelle · on August 19, 2012 at 3:13 PM
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Maybe this is her way of making amends? Sounds odd to me. I can understand not wanton leave a 3month old with a babysitter though, especially if it is her first. I say - tell her where you are registered.
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Nancy Taussig · on August 19, 2012 at 3:15 PM
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Maybe she's trying to mend fences?

If you don't want anything more to do with her, tell her your registry info will be in the shower invitation and then don't send her a shower invitation.
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VIP August 2015
Adrienne · on August 19, 2012 at 3:15 PM
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If she don't want to invite you or come see you when you are in town, then you don't need to invite her to your wedding. People make time to see their friends no matter what goes on in their lives.
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Super September 2012
ShaTerra · on August 19, 2012 at 3:19 PM
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Well the thing is, I told her she could bring the baby so I don't understand that comment lol. I'd never force a couple to leave a newborn just to come to our wedding. We have 2 kids so we understand. Yes our reception is adults only but come on! A newborn is an exception and we hadn't decided on an adults only reception then when I invited her
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VIP November 2014
MyLove&HisMrs. · on August 19, 2012 at 3:22 PM
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Remember, she's asking for information about your registry, and not requesting an invite. If you have posted information regarding your wedding on your registry, I would remove it and provide her with the information (just in case she's trying to do a "pop up")
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Super September 2012
ShaTerra · on August 19, 2012 at 3:24 PM
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I just don't want any issues with her thinking she is invited if I give my registry info
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Master October 2013
Lindylu22 · on August 19, 2012 at 3:25 PM
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If you were willing to have her newborn at your wedding she must mean a lot to you. I'd give her a call and talk it out. It seems that you still care about her. I know you're busy with the wedding planning but I'd give her a call. I am not trying to tell you what to do by ANY means, it just seems that she still has a special place in your heart.
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VIP November 2014
MyLove&HisMrs. · on August 19, 2012 at 3:42 PM
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Maybe she's not able to make it, but wants to give a gift. I say call her and talk it out.
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Master November 2012
Puffins · on August 19, 2012 at 4:09 PM
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I'd just ignore the message. You've been through enough with her, if you don't want to give her a way to wiggle back into your life, don't stress this one.
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