How to tell my friend that her kid isn't invited?

@Celia - I'll say that just in a more delicate way. :-)

@Regan - I wouldn't assume that anyone not listed on the invitation was invited, but that's me. I'll call her and see what she says.

I suggest calling it's more personal and respectful. I hope they are able to find a sitter and enjoy the ceremony and reception with you. I do think you made the right call with the breastfeeding mom, it was considerate and nice of you to think of her and I am sure she will do the same on your big day if the baby starts getting fussy.

@Ali - thank you for saying that. You're definitely right about calling and I appreciate your support on making the exception for the nursing mom.

I just wanted to comment to say I agree with (most) PPs in how to handle the child situation. I also wanted to thank you for the stance on the nursing infant.

I've seen a lot of brides on here get really upset when asked about babies who are very likely still nursing, and a lot don't take into consideration that telling the mother of a young infant who is breastfeeding to get a sitter isn't the same as telling it to a bottle fed baby's mother. You're not just asking them to pay for a sitter for their newborn, but to seriously risk destroying their milk supply for your event, which is why etiquette does allow for such an exception to be made.

I wasn't able to breastfeed DS, but I know several moms who have been put in the situation of stay home or leave baby, and had friends get angry they didn't come. Kudos to you for doing what is best for mom and baby, even on your wedding day!!

Well, it depends on how much you want this person at your wedding! That's a question you must ask yourself!

"Am I going to regret this person not being there?"

"Is this one person bringing her kid because she doesn't have sitter going to ruin our relationship?"

Depending on your relationship with these people, maybe you can be like "hey, you should get a sitter so we can drink together and celebrate"