How to tell guests about a Quaker Wedding?

I'm a teacher, so a cute, funny handout popped into my head.

"So you're going to a Quaker Wedding!"

And then delineate from there what they can expect.

View Quoted Comment I cant explain how much I love this idea. It's cute.

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HAHAHA!! Glad you like it!

View Quoted Comment That is amazing!

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I want to see the final product!!

I went to Quaker school for 13 years, I have Quaker family... and I'm having a Catholic wedding. We must have switched places.
Anywho, a friend of mine had a Quaker wedding with a lot of non-Quaker guests. Before Meeting began, one of her family got up and did a quick explanation of what was going on, and how to participate. They finished this speech off by saying something to the couple as an example of how guests could speak. It was short, sweet, and then self-explanatory. (I described Quakerism to my ride there, and somehow ended up as the spokesperson for that group, *despite* my explanations...)


Congrats!

You could include some information on your website, then have your officiant explain before the ceremony and include info on programs or handouts.

I'd just have a pamphlet for the ceremony to explain to guests.

I am having an interfaith wedding (Muslim-Christian) and we were worried about how each side would understand the other’s traditions. We are combining traditions from both sides during the ceremony to make it uniquely “us”. We decided to put the details in the ceremony program so everyone understands what is happening.

I definitely don't think programs are necessary in most cases, but yours is exactly the situation where they are nice and helpful.

View Quoted Comment I love this idea!

As a “spiritual but not religious” person, I really love hearing about and participating in other people’s religious ceremonies. Getting a handout, or an invitation enclosure, explaining what to expect and what is expected of me as a guest would make me feel included and prepared. Plus, the title makes it sound fun

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Caytlyn, just a fyi, but Quakers don't have priests/ministers/officiants. The couple marry themselves in front of the Meeting.

For the family and your super close family friends, I would send out a quick video ahead of time so it wouldn't be a surprise. For all other guests, having a pamphlet and/or spoke person is perfect.

The thing is, if your family is not accepting or you generally know that they wont like it, I wouldnt tell them but just have the spoke person on the wedding day explain. Reason behind this is that some people will try to persuade you to not do it and it might cuase tension and arguments.
If your family is accepting then go ahead and let them know☺

What are the differences if you don't mind me asking? Just curious why the need to explain? I've never known someone who is Quaker so I am genuinely curious

View Quoted Comment Ah, I see! Thanks for the info!

I included a special section in our wedding website for the traditions people can expect at the ceremony (I am Jewish but no one else is! he comes from a mormon background) And on the programs I'm including a detailed flow of these events for the ceremony.

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As I've stated above, Meetings do not have priests/pastors/"leaders" as most people would recognize one.

Meeting for Worship is silent worship. Quakers believe all people have the light of God in them, and all may speak in Meeting, if they wish. There are some "guidelines" for speaking - allow time for reflection (if you do not, it's considered a "popcorn" Meeting, but often happens with small children, holidays, weddings, funerals...), respectful language, etc.

So, again, the couple would marry themselves with their own vows. Guests could speak if they wish, about the nature of marriage, the couple, their relationship to the couple... At my friend's wedding, the universally lauded message came from her small nephew: he got up during the wedding Meeting to speak, and simply said, "I love you Auntie [friend's name] and Uncle [her husband's name]!"
Short, simple, to the point, UTTERLY ADORABLE. Many of us adults got up and said far lengthier things, but the kiddo's speech was perfect.

View Quoted Comment Quakers believe in that the Light is in everyone. They worship in silence. When moved to speak, you stand and say a small thing and sit back down.

So during Quaker weddings, they make proclamations (vows). Then they sit down. Sitting in silence, Family and friends then stand when moved to spey They nice short speeches (1-2 minutes). After a while of silence and quiet reflection, they stand and exchange vows.

After that they sign a Quaker Marriage Certificate. Everyone else present signs saying that they witnessed the wedding.