How to tell guest their SO isn't invited?

Tell her that as much as you would love to have him you are unable to accommodate him due to size restrictions at your site. Say that if you get enough No RSVPs you will gladly let him come but you won't know for another week or so. She never needs to know that you really could have accommodated him.

However, expect her to be offended, especially if she has been with him for an extended period of time and/or lives with him. She may not come either...you (or your FH) have to decide if it's worth straining your relationship with her or not

I'd shoot her an email or text saying, "Got your RSVP back in the mail and I'm so exited you're coming! But due to budget and space we can only accommodate those who were specified on the invite We'd love to see (insert his name) some other time and I'm really sorry, but we just can't accommodate a plus one this time at our wedding. Can't wait to see you there!"

What Laudie said.

You can't, unless you are ready to seriously hurt your friendship

It's really rude to not let her bring her boyfriend. If you're this worried about him doing something terrible, hire security and let them know they can throw him out if he does anything bad.

I would go with what Dana said. Your wedding- you choose who you want to come.

Do they live together? How long have they been together?

You may ruin the friendship if you don't invite him. If they live together its really rude to not invite him, a big no no.

Everything Laudie said plus everyone else here. Prepare to strain your relationship if you choose not to invite him even though he is a douchebag.

Thanks for the input everyone. She is a friend from my fiance's school days but we only see them maybe once a year. I've been asked to leave my son at home from weddings due to guest list sizes and I don't see this situation as being much different.

I agree with its your wedding he cant come if you dont want him. We have a pretty strict if you have no ring then you cant bring policy. Other than our couple friends, those singles and those with SOs we dont know wont get an invite. This includes family members, mostly cousins we may only see at weddings and funerals.

I know its hard to do but honesty is the best policy. I'm having same problem. I don't want certain SO at my wedding. Your guest has to know how rude and obnoxious her bf is. And if she is blind to it, then someone needs to tell her. If people are understanding they can't invite their children bc of similar reasons then should be true for adults too. Yes she may be hurt in beginning and not come but down road she'll see she's not being invited to other things bc of him, then maybe she'll come to her senses and realize you were right not to invite him.

My MOH has an obnoxious BF. I had a talk with her & let her know that if he is rude, drunk and unruly he will be removed from the venue. She wasn't happy but she understood. I was fully prepared for her to threaten not to come and if she made that threat her invitation would be revoked. Just be honest.

This is not the same situation as asking someone to leave their child at home. Children are not fully developed mentally and many times don't know right from wrong, how to act in certain situations, and just don't fully understand the importance of a wedding (I'm not saying all children here). It is very common for people to have adult only weddings because they feel a wedding is not a place for kids. However, not inviting an adult because you don't like them is completely different and if FH didn't get invited to a wedding but I did, I wouldn't go and I probably wouldn't bother sending a gift either.

How long have they been together ? Is it a serious relationship? You may not like him but he is your friends choice not yours. Is onetime we have to put on a happy face a tolerate people for our friends. If you got invited to a wedding and your FH didn't would you still go? I wouldn't. I can't stand one of my FH groomsmen wife. She is discusting to say the least and caused a lot of drama at my bachlorette party I don't want anything to with her or have her at my wedding. But we can't have him there without her. If she cause a problem she will be asked to leave.

I think at the end of the day, this is your wedding that you are paying for. You make the decisions even if that means potentially messing with your friendship. I personally don't feel the need to host or subject myself to people who can potentially ruin your day just so you don't seem rude. This may put your friendship at risk, but I think by now your friend should know how her SO has behaved in the past. He put himself in that situation.

Not the same as not inviting children at all. You and your child are not a social unit. She and her boyfriend ARE, regardless of how long they have been dating, whether they live together, etc.

Agree with Laudie that this is very different than not including children.

Of course it is your wedding, you can do whatever you want, as long as you are ready to accept the consequences. It doesn't sound like you're all that close, though, and if she ends up with this guy you can't stand long-term, maybe its for the best to grow apart from this woman anyway.

This subject is touchy for me, I just don't understand why people think wedding is free range and they can bring anyone or as many people they want, ugh

If it's your fiance's friend, I would make him deal with it.

I'd say it depends on how serious they are...back in college I was the girlfriend that wasn't invited to a reception due to size constraints. My boyfriend and I at the time had been dating for 2.5 years and were planning to get engaged. I was offended.

That being said, their reason was that, in order to reduce costs they would only invite "plus one" or couples if they were engaged or married. That is a pretty clear cutoff. And I think in the grand scheme of things, it was the best way they could have done it. I think I was more offended that my boyfriend didn't stand up for me

The way that my fiance and I are looking at dating couples/giving a plus one is unless: 1) we know both of them well (and I like them), 2) they are engaged or married, 3) the person you're inviting won't know anyone else and needs a buddy-- no plus one. Can you use any of those reasonings combined with the size constraint?