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Tamia
Savvy November 2022

How to scale back already planned wedding for an elopment?

Tamia, on April 11, 2022 at 4:00 PM Posted in Planning 1 3
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So as of yesterday my fiance and I decided that we want to elope this year instead of getting married next year (March 2023). Honestly, a wedding isn't really our thing and how we were planning it, it was basically just ending up as a family gathering with a wedding dress lol. Instead, we're working with our photographer now to take pics at the courthouse this year. However, a large portion of our wedding has been planned already. We already sent out save the dates, we already rented tables and chairs, we've already bought some decor, I have my dress....etc. So how do you start to undo a wedding lol? Is it even worth it to do this? The original wedding was stressing us out and I wholeheartedly believe that wedding planning should be fun and not stressful. So IDK what to do. We're considering still having the celebration as planned but no wedding dress or anything fancy, just like a backyard bbq?

3 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on April 11, 2022 at 10:28 PM
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    If you're still planning to invite everyone who you sent Save The Dates to a later celebration (which a casual backyard BBQ would be totally fine!), then I would send Change Of Plans cards to let everyone know about the change. You could mention that you will be eloping this year, and then hosting a celebration of marriage at a later date. List the date/time/location of the celebration that they are invited to.


    If you don't intend the host a celebration later on, then I would send a combined cancellation notice/change in plans card that just says that you plan to elope this year, and have decided to cancel the celebration. If you decide to go this route, you can try to return or re-sell your wedding decor and cancel the rentals (you may end up losing a deposit, depending on your contract).
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  • Ayanna
    Devoted November 2023
    Ayanna ·
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    It honestly depends on how much money you're going to lose out on. If it's going to be a significant amount. I would leave everything as is but let everyone know that you are eloping & what they've been invited to is a wedding celebration!


    If it helps, I think anyone planning their wedding themselves will be stressed. It's been up and down for me. I think the excitement wears off because the stress gets a little intense, we all have a panic moment and want to cancel everything. Which is totally fine if that's what you truly want. BUT I would say give yourself a little time and space to figure it out 😊
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    At the beginning of the pandemic, this was a regular question submitted to etiquette columns run by Miss Manners and Peggy Post. Both of them said that if no guests will be in attendance beyond witnesses only, then you send cancellation notices to all guests who have received a save the date. Because the event they were invited to is no longer occurring. That also means you return any gifts you were given back to your guests. As far as vendors already booked, ask what their cancellation policy is. Some may require you to forfeit the cost.


    After the elopement wedding, you send out announcements to anyone who would have been invited to attend the big wedding. You can choose to have an anniversary party down the road if you want a larger event.
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