How to say this tactfully?

On our RSVP we put...

Number of adults attending______

So far so good. Nobody has asked and it sounds like most are making babysitting arrangements!

Good Luck!

Adult Only Reception works pretty well. As well as Leigh's idea. Just hold your ground - a lot of people will assume you mean every kid but theirs.

Hmm those are both very good points! Thanks!

We are also not having children at the wedding our reception other than those who are in the wedding. On the inside envelope we only put the names of the adults. In addition, on the invitation we put "adult reception immediately following the ceremony."

I've seen some invitations that say "Adult Reception" that would indicate only adults at the reception. If you really don't want kids at either then you could put "Adult Ceremony & Reception" and that should get the point across.

That said be prepared to catch some flak for this and for some people not to attend because they can't or won't find childcare.

We did the same Names oon inner envelope & Adult Reception immediately following on the reception card.. & It has worked soo far!! Happy Planning!!

I agree with the first two people's comments. Also, on the invitation only include the adult's names on both the inner and outer invitation.

I want to have an adults only ceremony and reception, but does it make me a hypocrite if I have my 2 year old daughter in the wedding?

Wow! Thanks for all the great and tactful ideas! And no Crystal I don't think it does. We are having my FH's nephew in the wedding, but other than that no other kids are involved. I don't want to seem mean about it, but we don't have kids and we really just don't want anything extra to worry about on our special day!

Put it on your wedding website as well. I've made it very clear that the only children allowed at the wedding are the ones in the bridal party.

Why would anyone want to bring children to a wedding? There were children at the last two weddings I attended. Ish. Kids running, and yelling, sliding on the dance floor, parents drinking, another guest reprimanding someone's child for stepping on her toe. Children should not be present or "invited" to places where alcohol is served.

I agree that children in the bridal party be allowed to attend the dinner and first dance - then home.

I totally agree- kids need to stay home! We put "adults-only" on our invitations. I know its blunt, but I want it to be clear. My cousin (who's getting married this Sat.) just addressed the invitations to the adults, but people were still RSVP'ing with their kids!

We just addressed the envelopes to the adults and told people by word of mouth that only the kids in the bridal party could attend the reception. I actually want the kids at the ceremony, but the reception would just be too much. We have invited 148 adults who have a total of 52 uninvited kids. I felt especially bad telling someone whose child will be merely 2 months old that she couldn't bring her because I couldn't say yes to her and no to so many others. For me it was either adults only reception or immediate family only reception, which would have been sad. One person's husband can't make it and wanted to bring her toddler instead, but I had to say no. Made me feel like a meany, but if I didn't someone else would have been offended. It's hard not to offend someone when it comes to weddings...unless you have a BBQ picnic or something

We're allowing children merely because we have a LARGE number of children in our families and to us it would be hard to celebrate without them! They're just part of us. I've been to both kinds of weddings and receptions and they're both fun, I see no issue in either honestly. The only thing I've done is speak with a couple parents and just VERY delicately asked that they make sure to watch their kids so everyone can have fun. I really like JulyBride's wording... that ways it's not like sticking your nose up at the kids... it's more saying "yes we like kids, but we'd prefer this be an adult day" which sounds good!

If you make your response cards like this...

John smith yes no meal choice

Mary Smith yes no meal choice

and get a response for more people (kids or uninvited guests) you say would love to be able to have them attend but I can't accomidate more guests.

Wow a few of you were really harsh on kids! I can't imagine not having my niece and nephews at my wedding, they are my family! They actually make up my entire bridal party except my fiance's BM. I feel that a wedding is about the joining of 2 people's lives, families, and friends. What spells family better than children.

I'm not saying don't have an adult wedding and reception if that is what you want because that is perfectly fine and understandable but it was the attitude of some of the posts that is my complaint.

I would have a plan for if a family does bring kids with them regardless, there is usually one person that has no tact and will break the rules just because they want to and care what you want in that matter. People take the exclusion of their children VERY personal and may bring them as a matter of principle. (I would never do this but I know there are people that have and will)

Here's another alternative to excluding children from the wedding. My fiance's brothers and sisters all have a TON of kids, so it would just be extremely rude to ask them not to come, but I also don't want the kids causing a scene or making it hard for the parents to enjoy the wedding. SO.... I'm going to hire someone to do babysitting during the wedding. That way it saves the parents the hassle of trying to find a babysitter. Just a thought.

Over half of the family our age has kids, they will be part of our celebration also. Tho I do have a prefered venue I would have to exclude them. My venue would only seat about 60 without dancing and is a riverboat. I would exclude most of them due to safety issues if they got loose from adults. But since by just adding family I get alot more than 60 its down at the bottom of my list. Now if I could find more venue ideas....

Hi I am new to this blog! I have 6 godchildren and we have 17 nieces/nephews combined! Due to the trend of not having children at weddings,lots of friends said they don't mind as means a night off for them! but I know this may not be the case when it is in writing as I have seen many offended at this suggestion from others! Due to most being families of 4-6 it has meant we have had to look at bigger reception venues that hold 200 (50 children approx) I don't mind as long as they are being supervised. I have attended over 30 weddings and can't honestly remember which ones did/didn't have children in attendance. We are thinking of an overseas wedding so may restrict to bridal party/immediate family only there and invite everybody and their children to the reception that we plan to hold when we get home. Would people be offended if we suggested an adult only wedding? What do you think?

I just don't understand why people are actually calling me and saying "you forgot my child". Nooooo..I didn't! So, I just say yes and move on. They're the people sitting right next to the bathrooms as my passive agressive move. I swear if they cry during the ceremony I'm going to glare or stop the ceremony and ask the parents to make them shut up. hehehehe....kidding (kindof). So snarky today - sorry. My FMIL is coming over today. ugh