How to respond to people asking to bring their kids and adding guests.

Most people here will tell you the newborn has to come because they may or may not be during and can't be away from mom for that long. Is that the case with this cousin? You may not have that info. Is she local? Anyways, you can still tell her no. Be prepared for her to be upset when she gets there and sees kids. There is no nice way to do this 'we are having an adult wedding, and hope you cans till make it!' won't go over well because of there being other kids there.

Personally I would let the newborn come, but say no to the 4 year old. I have a few family members that will hopefully be coming that will have newborns and the newborns are welcome. However the older children will not be welcome, and I've made that quite clear. We aren't having any children in the wedding so it makes us easier to say no too.

I think newborns are an exception regardless, their main food source is usually mom so it's not realistic to ask them to be apart from them for several hours. I think it's best to invite in circles (wedding party only, immediate family, family, and so on...) I don't really think OOT guests falls into this category personally. If you don't care if she comes just tell her no.

Newborns under 1-2 months old actually SHOULDN"T be at a wedding- their immune systems are too fragile at that age. A poor week old baby got sick and died from a bug he caught at his parents wedding last summer. This used to be very common knowledge, and now people seem unaware of it. Don't take newborns out to crowded places.

Newborns were the only exception to our no kids guideline... it's not fair to invite a mom who is potentially nursing her newborn to attend an event without them.

I would tell them are over your max count and you had to limit the guest list already.. Most of the people that we invited completely understood and said that they had no issues with hiring a babysitter or having a family member that was not invited watching the kids.

Just as many posters have said on this forum that everyone has lives, and shouldn't change it for your wedding, I think that goes with friends/family having children.

Why would she want a newborn and a 4 year old at a wedding? I would just decline (as a new mother) if I didn't want to / couldn't leave my newborn at home and hope that the bride & groom understood. It is a choice to start / continue a family and it should be known that having a newborn/young children would interfere with some activities.

I would reply "Unfortunately children are not invited. Please let us know if you'll be able to make it! If not, we understand."

I do not want a newborn or any kid other than my 6 year old at my wedding. I would tell her you wish you could but you reached your max and can't allow anymore guest. If she stays home, oh well. I am so over wedding planning, it has done nothing but made me become more of a B**** than I already was, and I didn't even think that was possible. I really wish I did something A LOT smaller honestly.

That's not what I meant.

I meant that if you have a child, and you are invited to a wedding (and your children are not) they are interfering with your attendance opportunity, should they need your care. It is then up to you to find a babysitter or decline the invitation. When you have a child, you must realize that you are limited to attending certain events if children are not welcome or invited.

Not that they interfere during the wedding ceremony or reception itself (as guests).

I agree. I would never take a newborn to a wedding and I am the mom of two. Tell her the invite is for the grown ups only and if she gets upset tell her you will miss her at the wedding.

People will try to guilt you or make you feel bad - hold firm. No is a complete sentence.

I've made the exception for my friends who are still nursing their babies, but beyond that, the only kids we could accommodate are those related to us because we're very close with the family. In our situation, we're getting married after our friends did, so with that, the guest list would've been astronomical if we had included all of the children, too. We would've been outnumbered! You've gotta stick to your guns, but do it in a kind way.