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Andrea
Just Said Yes June 2018

How to pull off a surprise catholic wedding

Andrea, on January 20, 2018 at 2:03 PM Posted in Planning 0 38
I need Ideas on how to smoothly get our families to my church for our surprise wedding AND still get the big gasp, surprised look without telling anyone. We have thought of telling people we're having an engagement party so they can dress up, but having the location on the invites be a church, is a big giveaway.

How do we reveal the surprise when they're already standing outside the church?!
Help!!

38 Comments

Latest activity by bluevelvet, on January 21, 2018 at 7:30 PM
  • Forestwed
    Master May 2018
    Forestwed ·
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    Maybe have a sign outside the church that says Surprise, welcome to the wedding of X and X!
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  • Maria
    Master June 2018
    Maria ·
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    I agree with OG Gretchen I would be very sad if I missed your wedding. I just got an invitation to go out dancing tonight and I have many errands to run this weekend and I know I'll be too tired. Hope a loved one doesn't get surprise married then.

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  • C
    Master July 2018
    Cuoghi ·
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    Can you arrange for people to be picked up and they don't need to know the location?
    Could you get them to one location near the church and then put a sign up that says party moved to next door or the address of the church? I'd tell people a cocktail party or something instead because you aren't suppose to throw your own engagement parties and I would worry people would not dress appropriately for church if it is an engagement party.

    Does the church have a hall or something? Maybe you could use the address so it would be at the same locale but when they got there signs to the church vs hall.

    Personally as a guest I wouldn't want to be surprised by a church wedding or any wedding ceremony really.
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  • CeeCee
    Dedicated September 2018
    CeeCee ·
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    I love the idea of a surprise wedding but I think part of the surprise is giving up some traditions. An engagement party at a church is a dead giveaway. Maybe change your venue?? Or your reason for gathering?
    Or if you are flexible on funds you could invite your guest to a separate location and then transport them to the ceremony location?
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  • Alforev
    VIP August 2018
    Alforev ·
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    I’m sorry but this is a really awful idea. I imagine a lot of people being upset by this.
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  • Andrea
    Just Said Yes June 2018
    Andrea ·
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    We're only planning on about 50, it's all close family and friends. I do like the idea of having them picked up and dropped off at the location. I wouldn't have to tell them where they are going , just what time to be ready.

    I could let my MOH in on the secret and have her send the engagement invitations with the limo pick up location/decoy party.
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  • Nicole
    Expert September 2018
    Nicole ·
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    Why do you want to do this? It seems like a good way to cause confusion and hurt feelings.

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  • Andrea
    Just Said Yes June 2018
    Andrea ·
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    Our family thinks we're getting married in Italy a year from this surprise wedding. Everyone invited to the Italy wedding is being invited to the surprise wedding.

    No one was ever really happy with us getting married in Europe and it was getting stressful handling the over seas wedding and the comments and the cost.

    Our family want us to get married here... so we've come around and are doing it, but now it's a surprise.

    I love surprises and our families have always been big on surprise parties- this would be the ultimate surprise!
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  • LillyBean17
    Master October 2017
    LillyBean17 ·
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    Are all your guests religious? I wouldn't go to a church unless I knew dear friends or family were getting married there. Otherwise, I'd rather be dropped in a pit full of snakes than go to church.

    I don't think is a good idea regardless. You still need to take everyone out for dinner or lunch after too.
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  • Andrea
    Just Said Yes June 2018
    Andrea ·
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    Oh yes they are religious. We are having a reception afterwards: music, food, dancing, games, etc.
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  • bluevelvet
    Devoted October 2017
    bluevelvet ·
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    I agree with Gretchen that people will not prioritize a gathering like they would a wedding. People will come to a wedding come hell or high water but a general gathering they might blow off due to weather or getting called into work.

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  • M
    0000
    Mim ·
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    This. So much this
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  • Red Queen
    VIP May 2018
    Red Queen ·
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    There are loads of people here who think it's a wonderful idea to have a surprise wedding at their stag & doe parties. Aside from the obvious issue (people buying tickets to come to what turns out to be a wedding), I think a lot of VIPs wouldn't bother to show because it's just a party.

    People prioritize weddings in a way they wouldn't for something else. I wouldn't surprise people with that. Let them share in your happiness with you.

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  • fallinthegarden
    Master October 2017
    fallinthegarden ·
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    Do literally all your guests live in your town and not work weekends? I would not travel for an engagement party, nor would I take time off work. For a wedding, absolutely, depending on my relationship with the couple.

    I don't get the allure of surprise weddings, honestly. People will prioritize a wedding over a lot of stuff, but they don't get the chance to do that if you don't tell them it's a wedding. It seems like a lot of extra stress to try to make it work, and for what?

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  • fallinthegarden
    Master October 2017
    fallinthegarden ·
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    This is also a really good point.

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  • Rya
    Devoted April 2018
    Rya ·
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    Anybody you can let in on the secret already engaged that can say it's them getting married and they are going to their wedding? Kinda a trickster move but better then the party idea
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  • Andrea
    Just Said Yes June 2018
    Andrea ·
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    I like that!! Thank you
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  • LillyBean17
    Master October 2017
    LillyBean17 ·
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    No... just so much no. People will show up with gifts and cards for the other couple and then feel foolish when they end up celebrating someone else's wedding.

    Don't do the surprise wedding thing. If you don't want the planning stress just go to the courthouse and take VIPs to dinner after.
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  • Andrea
    Just Said Yes June 2018
    Andrea ·
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    His family and mine don't really communicate at all. I could tell each family a different story. Mine, a wedding and his a blessing for his niece, which that little girls mother is my MOH and I'm going to let in on the secret.
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  • Andrea
    Just Said Yes June 2018
    Andrea ·
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