Emily
Dedicated April 2022

How to politely tell people we are having a kid free wedding?

Emily, on April 21, 2021 at 7:03 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 17
Saved
Reply
So we have both agreed to cut back on the number of guests and also just the pandemonium that children can sometimes bring to a wedding, we are going to ask our friends to not bring their kiddos to our wedding. This is not including our immediate family(his sister has three young kids that will be invited and I have 3 younger siblings coming). But we are not sure how to phrase it for our invitations to not sound mean or rude about it. Any suggestions/ ideas would be appreciated!Smiley smile

17 Comments

Latest activity by Emily, on April 22, 2021 at 5:00 PM
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    Address the invitations to specific names only. If they still ask, just tell them unfortunately we can’t accommodate children at our venue.
    • Reply
  • Haylie
    Dedicated October 2021
    Haylie ·
    • Flag
    We are just having an age limit ( 15 and up ) because we don’t want to worry about parents having to take care of their little kids and just want everyone to have fun.
    We are adding onto our RSVP cards and on our website

    While we adore your children, we have decided to make our special day ages 15 & up to allow all guests to relax and enjoy themselves. We thank you for your understanding.“
    Hope this helps !
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    No mention at all on invites or inserts. You address envelopes only to invited guests and on the rsvp card you can either customize with invited guests’ names printed on each or ‘we have reserved ___ seats for you’. You can mention it on the website. But keep in mind that you do risk offending guests by allowing infants, the bride/groom’s children and/or flower girls but no other children or having a midrange cutoff age of 13 instead of 18.

    • Reply
  • P
    January 2014
    Pam ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    No one should be offended because the couple's children/siblings/nieces and nephews are at the wedding. They're immediate family.

    • Reply
  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Oh but it DOES happen. I’ve witnessed it first hand. When people are told it is a “kid free wedding”, then when they arrive there are children present, they get angry/irritated/offended, because it is perceived as their children weren’t “good enough” to make the cut. And they were forced to hire childcare, while others were allowed to bring their children. Allowing some children, but not all, unfortunately oftentimes leads to negative feelings (and trash talking) amongst the parents whose children were left out.
    • Reply
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I've witnessed this as well which is why I wouldn't allow anyone to bring their children with the exception of newborns or those in the wedding.
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    It does not belong on the invitations, on any form. Except the absence of children's names
    • Reply
  • Katherine
    Expert October 2021
    Katherine ·
    • Flag
    On my invitations I put Adult Reception. Only kids we would like to have is the flower girl and ring bearer
    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    It’s terrible how often this topic is tiptoed around as if it’s wrong for an event not to include children. If you don’t want people making assumptions, then please add a clear and simple “adult ceremony and reception“ wherever you feel it’s needed. Everyone doesn’t understand the “names on the envelope” concept. So if it’s not explicitly stated, some parents then feel their children are automatically allowed everywhere, and that’s not the case. I feel that part of being a parent includes sacrifice and sometimes missing out. So that means some parents might not be able to attend everything if they don’t have child care. But they have enough time between the invitation arrival and the wedding to figure that out. It’s not a stress for you to take on.
    • Reply
  • Gabbysitaxo
    Dedicated October 2021
    Gabbysitaxo ·
    • Flag

    I had the same issue! I decided to do what most of these lovely ladies suggested: Making the invitations out to specific names only and including a FAQ tab on my wedding website where I share that its a no kids wedding. Or politely phrased "Adults Only".

    • Reply
  • Richaelyn
    Devoted July 2021
    Richaelyn ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I agree. I did the same thing but, I also included a age limit.
    • Reply
  • SHY
    Master January 2022
    SHY ·
    • Flag

    We addressed save the dates to the couple only and are doing the same for invites. We also have it listed on our wedding website under FAQs. "While we adore your little ones, we ask that only adults attend unless specifically designated on your invitation or RSVP. This is a time to let your hair down, loosen that tie, and have fun!". We've also spread the word through word of mouth.

    We're only allowing children of the immediate family attend due to most of our family being out of state and country.

    • Reply
  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    We are having an adults only wedding and put on our wedding website "Invited guests only. Please no children." Our wedding is on the smaller side so we don't have too many guests with young children, so I was able to follow up with those who had kids to make sure they were aware and every one of them was looking forward to a kid free date night. There may be one couple with a baby there (less than 8 weeks old, and the father is a groomsman) but I think people are generally understanding of newborns.

    If you are having some kids, but not all, I would not use the term adults only or kids free at all, because if people show up and there ARE kids that is when they are more apt to be offended. I would simply address the invite to the adult guests only and if possible, set up your wedding website so that only named guests can be RSVP'd for. If your wedding is small enough, consider having conversations with the families with kids to be clear that your wedding is only adults with the exception of your nieces, nephews, and siblings. Most people will be understanding that the only kids there will be close family and its not just a kids free for all.

    • Reply
  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    This is perfect wording!

    • Reply
  • Emily
    Dedicated April 2022
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you DJ tanner!
    • Reply
  • Emily
    Dedicated April 2022
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you HaylieSmiley smile any bit of advice helps! And finding finding right way to word things will definitely help people understand.
    • Reply
  • Emily
    Dedicated April 2022
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I agree Pam,but nowadays people get so easily offended over the simple things. So many of my fiances friends have kids too so as long as they are understanding and try their best to get childcare im sure itll work out.
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics