How to politely decline wedding help

The rustic chic barn wedding vibe can be taken in the wrong direction SO easily, haha. My aunt, who very kindly threw me a bridal shower, wanted to get these decorative signs that said "Farm life is the best life" for the shower. My savvy cousin talked her out of it (thankfully). I want pretty, nature-y and rustic, not tractors!

Take help where you can get it. As you get closer to the day, you'll be surprised how much of a relief it actually is!

My future mother-in-law has been my VERY eager helper. I've found what has worked best is asking her to do very specific things when she offers to help. I explained the center pieces I wanted to her and sent her home with my lanterns, greenery and the sola wood flowers I dyed with my mom. She used to be a florist and she is GREAT with flowers. By showing her a few pictures and explaining what I needed, she was able to create perfect floral arrangements and centerpieces.

And let me tell you, it has been such a weight off my shoulders. I did have to ask her to remove a few bows, though, because, yeah. Bows.

Can the bird cages be repurposed in any way? Maybe for a card box or something? Or to display something like pictures or escort cards? Could they be spray painted to be more chic? I spray painted my $5 white centerpiece lanterns, some plastic buckets (cheap!!), a three-tier wire organizer and another wire organizer rose gold and the effect has been very chic. Yeah, I'm basic. Gimme all the rose gold! My FMIL put flowers in the buckets and we plan to do favors in the wire organizers.

If the bird cages can't be repurposed for the wedding, could you tolerate them as decorations at a shower if you're having one? Or could they possibly be returned if she hasn't done anything irreversible to them?

Is there any way you can use them as decor somewhere else in the wedding instead of centerpieces. Let her know that you are so appreciative of what she did, and although what she made is cute, they aren't quite what you had in mind. Then let her know that you'd like to use them somewhere else (like the card table, memorial table, or random decor elsewhere). And it's okay to say something like "I love these, but admittedly I don't love the bows. What about using greenery instead?"

Wow, so she offered to help and when you gave her clear ideas on what you wanted, she came back with a different idea and when you said no bows she said they look plain? Oy.

I would say, thank you for these, let's use them at the shower. I would say, straight up: "Thank you for all your work, however, as beautiful as these are, these are not what we discussed. Let's use these at the shower. Let me pay you for your expenses."

I would then, as uncomfortable as it may get, just say, "Look, I would be more comfortable just having you as a guest, it looks like our visions are different." You will have to have your mom as an ally in this as the friend WILL complain to your mom.

To me, the minute she gave feedback on YOUR idea that they looked plain, that was the minute I would know we can't work together.

I know the horse is out of the barn but this is why we urge people to no use "friendors" as the lines are blurred.

I am sorry you are in this pickle. Keep us posted!

So my mom got my a chest box that locks for our card box even though I wanted FH to make me a tree stump cardbox. Apparently he told her to get the chest and he'll skip the stump. Well my mom "white washed" it and wrote on it. She said I could change it any way I want. So I was gonna sand off the wording and sand off A LOT of the paint. I'm telling you it's just painted there's no light brushstrokes of white whatsoever haha. Then she was like oh when I said I was gonna change it. Well sorry you already inserted yourself into my card box situation so I am going to make it somewhat what I want since you said I could! It's hard when people have conflicting styles. If she would've just asked me she'd know that white wood really wasn't the theme of my wedding, when everything else wood will be dark. Now I have a whole new project to take up my time on top of staining all my other wood signs and centerpiece boxes, and it's slightly annoying because it'd be easier for me to just go out and buy something else.

Is there anyway you can use them for something else around the wedding as decor or change it up a bit by saying you want it to look more the theme so you're gonna do ___ to the cages? Obviously they mean well, but it's one of those situations where you just bite the bullet.