Dedicated October 2020

How to politely ask no children

Kelsey, on September 19, 2019 at 7:27 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9
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I am very firm about no kids at our wedding, except for 3 that I have already made my mind about. 2 are in the wedding party and one is a pretty mature 14 year old who can definitely entertain the other 2 (10&12) for the night. All of my cousins have kids and will expect them to be invited, but I do not want them to come. I can’t just address the invites to them because they are ignorant and will just bring them anyways. I need a nice, polite way to ask that their children do not attend. Any advice?!


  • M
    Dedicated October 2019
    M ·
    “Adult only reception to follow” at the bottom of your invite.
    Also on RSVP you can have it say “we’ve reserved ___ seats in your honor, how many will you fill?”
  • M
    Dedicated October 2019
    M ·
    ...Unless you meant that even invites saying that, they’ll bring them.

    If thats the case, I’m afraid I don’t see a polite way to tell them. If they are that ignorant, you must be blunt. Have bridesmaids and your parents ready to back you up too!
  • Yam
    VIP September 2019
    Yam ·
    Asking implies they have a choice. You have to tell them that you will be unable to accommodate children outside the bridal party, that it’s an adult reception.
  • Kelly
    Super October 2019
    Kelly ·
    On our invitation we said # of adults attending - and that did the trick.
  • V
    Super July 2019
    Veronica ·
    We had a question on our frequently asked page on our website about children. We basically said that although we love everyone's children that we are having an adult reception only except for those in the wedding. We also only addressed the invitations to the people we were inviting and said we saved x number of seats.
  • Julie
    Dedicated February 2020
    Julie ·

    Aside from addressing your invitations as adult only, you can put a Q&A section on your website that addresses this. I would leave the reserved seat or name area blank so they can fill it in. If they fill it in with more people than you reserved a spot for, just call them an explain.

    "I apologize for the miscommunication. As much as we love your children, we are very limited on space and have opted to keep the wedding adults only. In light of this we sincerely hope you can make it, but completely understand if not."

  • Alyssa
    Devoted June 2020
    Alyssa Online ·

    Also designate a person like your mom or sister to help spread the word so that you don't become the person for them to complain at. My mom knows that the token kid at our wedding will be FH's daughter. That's it. But none of my cousin's kids are invited-they are all under 5 and I don't care that it's a destination wedding. My venue charges the same rate for kids and adults and kids don't exactly drink open bar and eat mahi mahi.

  • Aleaj
    Expert October 2019
    Aleaj ·
    On our invitations i put a reserved amount of seats for each household on the rsvp card. I then put “adult-only reception” on the back of the invitation, and i also made sure my family spread the word. Lol hopefully i won’t have any little guests except for the ones in the wedding.
  • Adriane
    Beginner August 2020
    Adriane ·
    I’m having a kid free reception with the exception of my children and my brothers who are in the wedding. All of my family and friends I’ve told completely understand why I don’t want many children there. If you’re close enough to them hopefully they understand why. The cost is a big one, and them being bored and running around all night plus it’s a bonus for them to enjoy a night kid free.

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