How to plan a wedding for families in different states

Is the VA family all the way on the western end of VA? Because, honestly, that's not a very long way to travel...

If you are paying, you set the guest list, the rules, and the location. Period. Full stop. End of story.

If you are not, you may have to listen to those who are (I got lucky, and had help with no strings.)

Since you really want a 30 person wedding, find a *very small* venue you like, in your budget, and leave it at that. If anyone complains, "we are having an intimate ceremony, thank you."

We have family all over the country so we chose a "domestic destination" wedding. We are getting married in NC at a large golf resort and everyone is traveling there. There was no way to avoid 0% travel for anyone so we chose a location we loved and went for it. I get where your heart is coming from with 3 small weddings but I feel like that would become exhausting for you and FH quickly and more like a traveling "production" than a wedding.

VA to MA is like a 1 or 1.5 hour flight though? I don't think you'd need to worry about travel inconveniences. People expect to have to travel for weddings. My family and my husband's family live on complete opposite sides of the country and travel was a breeze (granted this was pre-Covid but I'm assuming that things will be back to normal by your wedding in June 2022). Your plan to have 3 separate weddings doesn't sound like a good idea for several reasons...I think the pre-wedding guests and post-wedding guests might feel bad if they didn't make the cut for the actual wedding guests. The separate issue is what you want vs. what your family wants. If you and your husband are the ones paying, then I would have one small intimate wedding, just like you envisioned. If your folks are paying, then you'd need to come up with some compromise to include the relatives. Regardless if you choose to have an intimate wedding or a larger wedding, I'd hold one affair and have people travel to you.

I agree with this. Our family is all of the country as well as OUTSIDE of the US...so traveling has to happen. Your family will understand if traveling has to occur, seeing that most of them are spread out. I also agree that having 3 small weddings would be a lot for you and your FH to deal with and would cause more stress and exhaustion than needed.

If you really want a small intimate ceremony, then do that.

Personally I would either elope then have a large celebration with everyone together. OR Have one wedding with everyone that you want to invite with a reception and be done with it.