How to pick a maid of honor

How old are you?

You shouldn't make decisions on bridal party until 6-10 months before the wedding. I would put this on the back burner for now. Relationships change and once you pick then you're stuck.

1. I wouldn't even worry about this right now if your wedding date really is in 2018. You have A LOT of time before you need to pick a bridal party. You have no idea what can happen in that amount of time. My MOH is someone I've known for just a little over a year. We became very good friends, very quickly. You may make new friends in the next year, you never know.

2. You don't NEED a bridal party, you don't NEED a MOH, and you don't NEED to have a bachelorette party. Don't have bridesmaids just because you feel you need to.

ETA - grammar.

I feel you, OP, as I have struggled my whole life to find close female friendships. Setting aside the fact that you have plenty of time before you ask people, maybe think about *why* you want a MOH and bridesmaids. Is it because you think you are supposed to have them? Maybe because it will look more like a wedding in pictures? I am just wondering if you are really longing for female friends... and that takes a lot more work than just picking someone to wear a dress for a day.

Bridesmaids aren't a requirement for a wedding.

Sending a virtual hug here...

Okay girl, no need to pick yet but what you can do is download the app bumble. its similar to tinder BUT it has a BFF option. go into settings and where you select what you're interested in select "BFF" it will show you girls near you who are also looking for new friends. you can even select ages. obviously don't message them and say "i need bridesmaids" don't force it. but meet new people! go out for drinks, or whatever you like to do. maybe you'll click with a nice group of girls

Agreed with @k.m. relationships change surprisingly fast, work on your relationships and decide closer to your date. But I would advise against your SIL if she's talking about you behind your back, or trying to.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time with friendships. You still have a long time before your wedding. Work on your friendships first and worry about bridal party later. Take the steps to ask friends to go out for a drink, or meet for coffee, or have a girls night with some wine and pizza or whatever, and just try to connect more. Or join a club, or get in a meetup group and meet some new people. You should have someone by your side who understands you in your day to day life, not just for your wedding. Good luck!

@savanah-omg bumble has a bff app?!?!? GAME. CHANGED.

Thanks ladies. I know I have a lot of time to find someone it just worries me that's all. Friendships are have always been hard for me and people suck sometimes. Meeting new people is hard for me aswell especially females as I don't work with any lol. I know I could have a male bridesmaid but I feel that would have to be a much deeper friendship. Any who just having a stress out moment and all of you have helped out alot. The wedding date is not set in stone but it is spring/summer 2018

I feel the same way. My fiancé has a bunch of childhood friends and I moved A LOT growing up which made it hard and well I realized who my real friends were. I will have a man of honor, my fiancés cousin whom I've become really close w and one true best girl friend that I've never lost touch w over the years.

Don't have a MOH with the expectation that she'll organize things and plan your bachelorette. Her only job, whether you call her MOH or BM, is to get the dress and stand next to you on the day. Just work on your relationships, maybe meet some new people, and make your decision closer to the day.

I agree with all the previous posts. I definitely agree about asking your FSIL - I don't think I'd even want her in the wedding. But that's just my opinion.

I'd recommend not having a wedding party, especially in a situation like yours where you are struggling to decide who's "best" for it. It's coming off a little attention-grabby, having stated "who plans the bachelorette party and what not". Even if you have a wedding party, you're not entitled to a bridal shower or bachelorette party or any of those parties. And even if you don't have a wedding party, that doesn't mean someone won't throw you a party. My husband and I didn't have a wedding party; we didn't want the added stress for us or for others. My mom still actually threw me a bridal shower (I didn't want one - I hate attention on me - but she reeeeeally wanted to do something special for me, which I obviously greatly appreciated her thoughtfulness). I wasn't thrown a bachelorette party, and that's just fine.

Your wedding is supposed to be about you and your future spouse. It's not a popularity contest to show off how many friends you have or to make others feel popular with titles. If you truly want your loved ones standing up at the altar with you and you can't imagine getting married without that, then ask people to be by your side (no titles are needed; simply bridesmaid/man and groomsmen/woman will do). If it's a struggle to determine this or figure out who's "best" for this, skip it.

"Who plans the batchelorette party and what not?"

Don't pick your MOH (or any BM) with the expectation that they're going to do things for you. The only responsibility they have is to buy their dresses and show up to the wedding.

It's okay! Just breathe. There are many, many wedding-related things that you can stress about, but this should not be one of them. I had the same issues originally - two girls who I considered to be my closest friends did not consider me to be their closest friend. So it was hard knowing that whoever I chose as a MOH I would not be theirs in return. But you know what? Who cares. The girl I consider to be my best friend will be standing beside me and supporting me anyway. I ended up choosing the girl who is a better planner than any of my other friends. I know I'm going to be a wreck on the big day and I wanted her to be totally in control and keeping me calm.

No matter what you decide, it will all be okay. Just relax!

You don't need bridesmaids, you don't need a MOH and you don't need a batchelorette party. Don't pick your bridal party too early if you choose to have one. Honestly, I'd just not worry about all of that altogether if I were you. I only have 3 BMs, my sister, FSIL and my best friend.