How to Include Charity in Wedding?

Ceila - I will definitely ask our Officiant to include something. It's already on our website that it's important to us and I was already intending to ask the Officiant

A&J - Thanks for the wording advice. I will keep that in mind if we do something! I understand that everyone has a different opinion. There are certainly many things other people do on here that I would never do, but I don't tell them they can or cannot do something because of my opinion. I remember for my 18th birthday I wanted to celebrate with my friends so I bought them all tickets to the local AAA baseball game (I had been working in a high paying job during school so I wanted to do something fun with my first several paychecks) and told them no presents, but if they kept insisting on a present I would ask they donate to a charity instead. I had many friends tell me that I was amazingly selfish and that I was just looking for attention by having a birthday party. Many times when I do fundraisers for charities I don't announce it other than a one time Facebook post. Then I talk about the event afterwards and there is always a couple people who tell me they wish I would have said something because they would have given. I'd just rather get donations for a charity instead of getting something for myself. And I purposefully chose things under $9 (most under $5) because I didn't want people to feel overwhelmed, but if they wanted to give, they could, for the same cost they would spend on a greeting card, which would be thrown out eventually.

Natalie - Yes, we will be doing that also. I just like to think of non traditional ways to give, in addition to other things. Like when Hurricane Sandy hit (we weren't affected. We're in Ohio), everyone was collecting money to help people. Which is great. But I asked my dog loving friends and family to get together donations to animal shelters over there because people might not think about them needing help, as well. We were able to send things to 3 different shelters in NJ and NY

I really didn't want to make this such a controversial thing. I honestly just wanted to do something nice and give people an outlet to help when they wouldn't have thought about it. I didn't think it was considering gift-grabby. But I know different people have different opinions on things. Thank you everyone for your opinions.

I love the idea of toys on the registry! That is adorible!

Seriously. I would be the person that would buy those gifts!

All the women above me are saying don't do it, the day is about you. So if you are really in to chairties, and including one in your wedding some how is important to you then you are making it about you! Don't listen to the nay sayers. I think this is a grand idea. Worst case senario your guests dont see it that way and dont buy the toys. No harm, no foul! Please still be reading this thread!

If a couple and/or their lives have been impacted by a charity, then a gift to that charity IS a gift to them.

I feel a little differently about the 'in lieu of favor' thing; if you want to donate, just do, but don't grandstand it (not any of 'you' specifically, lol). No one will miss that personalized bottle opener or shot glass, and your bucks will be much better used.

I might blog about this on Friday actually! Thanks!

Well said Celia!

FH and I have adopted three dogs from rescues and shelters, and I regularly donate. I agree with Celia about the "in lieu of favors" thing. I honestly don't know how I feel about putting dog toys on the registry to donate to the shelter. If I saw them I'd probably assume that they were for your own dog. And when it comes to donating, I am extremely picky about which shelters I donate to. I do a LOT of research about their practices and philosophies.

One thing FH and I discussed was to "adopt" a pet at a local shelter for each table. We would put the pet's picture and a brief description of the animal and his or her needs. This would accompany our private donation to the shelter. In the end, we nixed that idea because it seemed like putting the charity that front and center was a bit too much.

I like the idea of putting a description of the shelter near your guestbook. And definitely put a picture of your pup with it!!

Here is what I am doing and you are welcome to use some, all or none of my idea. First, I hate wedding tables having numbers. No one wants to be at table 15 of 15. You feel like you were at the 'last' table and secondly I am not a flower person. So instead of flowers there will be a picture frame with the picture and name of a dog at a local rescue/shelter. These will be my table names. Instead of spending money on floral arrangements for the table (which die and usually take up too much space on the table IMO) the money will be donated to the shelter/rescue that that dog is at. It is my wedding and about me and FH and part of our bond is a love of dogs. If we do not do it for shelter dogs we will do it for "Paws for Thought" which trains service dogs for vets here in Nova Scotia.

I agree with what Celia said, I don't know why the donation items on your registry were vetod. I wouldn't force people to donate money, and if you wish to donate some of your cash gifts to the shelter, that's fine, but you don't need to tell everyone about it. I wouldn't turn your wedding into a charty/awareness event. I also wouldn't ONLY put shelter stuff on the registry, just have a good mix of stuff for you and stuff for the shelter.

I adore the table numbering idea!

Well one idea FH and I have tossed around includes an animal shelter donation with another "controversial" idea around WW. We were at a wedding where the bride and groom had vases by the cake with their names, with a sign stating whoever had the most money in their vase gets cake in the face, and then another sign stating the proceeds are going to xxx animal shelter. We've thought about doing that and donating to the shelter we adopted our cats from.

But again, most people around here don't like the cake smash so if that's not your thing, then this idea wouldn't be for you lol.

For those criticizing her: she asked for ideas about how to include it, not to tell her how rude it is. Get off your high horse, you're the ones being rude. It sounds like she knows her guests and they'd be down for this.

We do have a normal registry. I just added the couple of animal toys to the Amazon registry because you can add a message that will show up that says the item being purchased will be donated, etc. I am taking all of the suggestions into consideration. Thank you. I do also like the table "number" idea. I agree that having numbers is kind of sucky having to put someone at table 15 of 15 Our friend did places they visited and put pictures of that city on the table to view. So maybe we could have our tables be things that are important to us, instead of numbers. I didn't intend the donated items to be showboating. It's becoming more popular at showers to bring something in lieu of a card, so that's the line I was going down. Idk. They are all just ideas right now. I'll talk to my bridal party and see what they think. Again, I appreciate everyone's opinions.

I'm always so mixed feelings about this because I think it's great that people want to donate, but at the same time, other people don't connect with your chosen charities the way that you do. You could always put, "in lieu of gifts for us, please consider donating to your favorite charity. If you'd like the name of one of our favorite charities, let us know." Something to that effect. I feel like that might be a happy medium?

Love the table # idea.

I also think the table# idea is really cool.

You can make a donation to a local charity instead of giving favors. The recent wedding I went to all the guests received a card from the bride and groom that said in lieu of favors a donation had been made on our behalf to a charity that was related to cancer research.

I would totally buy a dog toy off your registry! I think that's a great idea! FH and I both regularly donate, but I've had some bad experiences doing donations in lieu of (did a large donation instead of Christmas gifts one year, my materialistic family flipped and my sister didn't talk to me for about 6 months after), so we keep it to ourselves. Also, as people have said, donating is a personal thing and some of your guests might not share your love for dogs/rescues (shocking, I know). So having the option to donate I think is the way to go, as opposed to doing donations instead of favors, etc.

My girlfriend did this for her wedding and no one had an issue with it. She placed on her wedding website alongside a traditional registry.

Remember, even if you put it on the registry does not mean it is going to be purchased. So it will ultimately be at the discretion of your guests. If you know your circle and know they are just a sweet on helping local shelters, then put it on your registry or website that you would love it if they could make a donation.

It is your day. If you think included it in a wedding is TOO much then include it in your bridal shower or include afternoon volunteering during your bachelorette.

I just encourage you to manage the expectation that just because you include the pet toys or the link to donate, it will be up to each person to make that choice. and if they don't that is okay and if they do GREAT!

You could also probably register with a site like Petco or Pet loot!

(if you send me your registry link, I'll definitely go for a toy or two!)

I volunteer and foster for two local dog rescues, one specifically is a pit bull rescue. My FH had the amazing idea that instead of numbering our tables we will name them after adoptable dogs within those rescues. Each table will have the dog's name, photo and a small bio about them. It will be a great way to incorporate something that is near and dear to my heart into the wedding without being like, "HEY DONATE!" And adding extra pressure from our guests to donate to something they may not want to donate towards. Just because I love it doesn't mean everyone does. I think perhaps registering at target and receiving gift cards there might be the best bet. That way you personally can shop for puppy pads, collars and leashes, bones, etc.

We are not really doing favors. We have photo booth strip frames that will hold the escort cards, so I guess those are the favors, but they are also the escort cards so we can't get rid of them. Plus, they were already purchased And I agree that people like to look into their own charities. That is why I wanted to add items to the registry without a note. It's not pressuring anyone who doesn't want to donate to buy something for that charity. But for those who do want to give, it's there for them. I wanted to do Amazon because they have better pricing on things and have a better option of toys.

I am pretty sure someone mentioned this already, but maybe I can add the shelter's Amazon wishlist to the registry tab on the website. I will write in there that we are registered at so and so, but then also write a description about why that shelter is important to us and if they choose, they can purchase an item from that list to donate. I honestly would be happier getting things for them. It makes me so happy to do things for them.