How to Include Charity in Wedding?

I wanted to honor Pibb by putting a couple toys on our registry that are pit friendly. While Pibb was there, he wasn’t allowed to play with many toys, because when people donate toys they often give stuffed animals or toys for small dogs. Although our Pibb is a sweetheart, he does chew open soft toys. So many of the larger breeds so not get play time like the other dogs. I picked out under 10 items that are under $9 on Amazon that have been Pibb’s favorite toys and have lasted the longest (I also included a couple rabbit toys since I have two rabbits).

Do you have any suggestions on how I can give to the shelter? Recently, someone got married and had a Dollar Dance. The money from the Dollar Dance was given to the shelter. I don’t know how I feel about that because I don’t like people being in my personal bubble! But I’d love to hear other ideas. It would mean SO much to me to include them somehow.

Thank you!

So we already told you to donate privately and you want us to (again) tell you that you should donate privately?

Dollar dances are just as rude as anything else.

If you want to donate toys over cash, do so. But it's not up to your guests to support your charity of choice. It's a wedding, not a fundraiser or awareness event.

I've heard of (and the one thread that was posted on the topic was controversial) and been to weddings where a card has been left at each place setting saying "In lieu of favors Bride and Groom have elected to make a donation to (insert charity name here) in your name."

Personally, if I was at/invited to a wedding and there were gifts for a charity, I wouldn't purchase them. A wedding is about that couple, I would get something for them, even if they do love a charity. I think it's great that you donate, but does it really need to be added into the wedding? Isn't charity all about doing things without the recognition, so why can't you just donate toys/money around the time of your wedding, but not have to announce it. I understand that you want to do something for awareness. Maybe on your wedding website you can have a page 'things near and dear to you'. Have a picture of your dog, discuss the shelter and if people were interest how they could help, although to me if I saw that on a website I would be a little put off.

Other that expressing how I would feel if I was at a wedding with those type of things happening I don't have any real suggestions other than maybe you could plan a separate event such as a fund raiser. A wedding just doesn't seem the place to be raising awareness and/or money. However, you could easily put together a fund raiser in the community that could just be all about the shelter

Your wedding is about you and your FH, not your dog. I would just donate separately, with my own money, rather than ask for people to donate toys or money.

I like Maltese's idea. Maybe if you did that you could also have a small display where you share a picture of your pitty and explain a little bit about the charity?

Even though it is for a good cause I wouldn't go overboard. Your guests will feel like you secretly invited them to a charity event. I think that is where the criticism is coming from.

I posted again because new people have joined in the last several months and they may have better options. Personally, I love doing charity work. So I never saw it as such a negative thing. But I know everyone is different. As I said, I give to various charities regularly and also help in events monthly with a few of those charities. But people in my family so a lot with dog charities specifically so maybe that why I don't find it so strange.

Thank you for your comments. No need for further posters. Thanks!

Does the shelter have a registry? Some do, a wish list to amazon, petsmart, etc. You could include that information with your other registry information, along with a short note saying why its so important to you both. Something marriage related. "Nothing has taught us the importance of compromise and love as adopting our Pibble together. He turned our relationship into a family, and we would welcome the opportunity, alongside our family and friends, to make a large donation of needed items to the shelter he came from. Please consider helping us start our married life together with the greatest gift of all - giving to others". Then maybe gather everything together and donate to the shelter in one swoop.

Honestly, I don't see the big deal in doing so. Maybe it isn't perfectly etiquette friendly, but as long as you have another registry option for those who prefer to give you guys people gifts, its really not going to be judgement day like some people here think it will be. Especially for those people who know you guys and how much your dog means to you!

Ooh I like the idea of putting something, possibly near the guest book, that explains the charity and why it's important to you.

I can see how most people would feel uncomfortable with this and think it's bad and all the reasons you probably got in the last thread.

BUT, I know many people on here express how much they love their pets and many encourage adopting. I know many people care about their animals and so if you know your circle of friends and family, there might actually be a few that wouldn't mind adding a toy on to their gift. If I know how much it means to you and the amount is small I would consider buying the toy. That way if people don't want to donate, they don't have to. Just like how some people think honeyfunds are tacky...just don't give money to it if you don't approve.

One idea you might want is maybe you'll have your program and on the back you can share your rescue story of your dog. Maybe just sharing the story will help raise awareness without asking people for money. It's not a fundraiser, but it's a way to make people more aware of something in their community.

I've also heard things (I might be a little off on this) where people put a jar on the sweetheart table. Then if you want the bride and groom to kiss, instead of clinking glasses, they can put money in the jar. Then you could let people know that the money donated will be going toward the shelter.

We are donating to two charities in lieu of favors. I ordered a sign that will be on display to explain it to guests. Aside from that people are comimg to your wedding to celebrate your relationship! I love supporting shelters but that's not the purpose of your wedding. If you and your FH decide to take some of your wedding money and donate it or use it to buy toys that is a great way to support them without taking away from your wedding day.

I'm doing that at my wedding....I don't like the idea of putting a card on every table stating "In lieu of favors Bride and Groom have made a donation to ....." I will have just one sign at the guest book table stating that we donated to a healing house for pediatric cancer....We're donating an x amount per guest attending our wedding....Honestly favors are thrown away eventually so I would rather donate the money to a charity. If my wedding will raise awareness to that cause then that's is exactly what I'm going to do.

I think is a great idea to have your guests bring a little something "a gift" to your bridal shower for the pits. I would be honored to help out! If you have a wedding website you can add a link so people can donate directly to the shelter ??

I love the idea. Don't let anyone stop you. There is nothing wrong with people giving you cash to donate to the shelter. Is there a way people can donate online in your name? That might be easier for people to do. I don't like carrying cash.

Stephanie

Married: 10/05/2013

Reviews: 5

Dec 09, 2014 at 8:42 AM • Flag As Inappropriate • 

So we already told you to donate privately and you want us to (again) tell you that you should donate privately?

Dollar dances are just as rude as anything else.

If you want to donate toys over cash, do so. But it's not up to your guests to support your charity of choice. It's a wedding, not a fundraiser or awareness event.

^^This

My whole group of officiants are total dog and rescue freaks, but I agree that any charities can be a little problematic as part of a wedding, no matter how noble.

I like A&J's suggestion to add a shelter's wish list to your registry, or maybe register for things like cases of paper towels and dog food. Anyone who knows you will know why you added those things. I don't know why it was veto'd by the group; i must have missed it because i think it's a great idea.

I'd also have you officiant add references to the ceremony about your love of rescue animals and how your life as a family was changed by your experience (A & J, I am totally stealing your quote. I"ll give you credit. I'm good with that. ) We almost always add a little pet blessing to our ceremonies where there are animal lovers, and it always goes over very well, in many ways.

I also like the idea of a registry for the charity. Paper towels, old bath towels, toys for all size dogs.

One of my couples tipped their bartenders and put dog bowls on the bar as 'tip cups'. The tips went to the shelter, but nothing more was said about it.

Lol Celia, please steal away!

Kathleen, I hope you're still reading!! This is one of those things that some may find tacky, and others won't. You know your group. I personally wouldn't find it tacky at all. Maybe it's the rescue pittie lover in me, but I love the idea

I don't hate the idea of adding a few dog toys to the registry. Your wedding should be about you and your fh, and what you love. It sounds like this shelter and your dog are near and dear to your heart and should be included in the wedding. Other people ask for non-traditional gifts on registries, like camping gear. Your guests don't have to buy something on your registry or something as all, adding dog toys is just adding another option.

I agree it would be great to add a story about your dog to your website and maybe your program.

I know you said you already give to the shelter and want to do something additional, so you didn't like the suggestions to just give in private. You may not like this idea, but what about setting aside a certain amout of your cash gifts to give to the shelter without asking your guests for donations. It would still be in addition to what you already do, and you and your fh would know that your wedding supported the shelter even if the guests don't.

I know a couple of people who scrapped a registry entirely and asked for donations to a charity in lieu of gifts.