How to handle underage at bachelorette?

Uhhhh....you be mature and set a good example. She can't throw the dice if she's not of age. So either you and your BMs need to come up with something that she will be able to do LEGALLY or she sits the night out.

She's probably going to get carded. I'd plan for that to happen.

If it's a reputable casino, they will card her. She cannot go if she is underage. Same with the wine tasting. You either have to change your plans so she can come, or tell her that you're sorry but she'll have to sit out on this one.

If I were having fun at the casino with a group of friends and got kicked out because someone wasn't legal, I would be LIVID at the idea of having to change the entire night's plans just for one person (ESPECIALLY if I didn't know this girl was underage)

If she wants to chance it, it's on her. If she gets carded and has to leave, she can go back to the hotel. The two weddings I was BM in, the MOHs were underage (little sisters) so I planned both bachelorette parties. One of them, little sis came out with us to dinner then left when we went to bars. She knows she's underage, she'll deal.

Have her sit out. My 17 y/o niece is a BM. She understands she cannot go to the 21 and up events.

She WILL be carded. Casinos don't mess around and you don't want to go flashing a fake ID around in one either. If you want her there, you should probably think of something else to do.

ETA: My friends and I got carded every single time we stepped foot in a casino for my friend's bachelorette. Sometimes even multiple times at the same table. We were all 27/28.

Um every casino I've been to (reputable or not) is super hardcore about carding people. It's not like a bar where you can hope for the best. They're regulated much more closely and will usually card everyone walking through the door. So what's her plan if they do card her? Just hang out outside the casino waiting for you guys to be done?

See if she can bring a friend and they can hang out while you guys do the 21 and up events, maybe?

I was leaning the same way. She wants to chance this, and I don't like that idea. How do I tell her no?

I'm not sure what type of casino you're going to. Philly has free standing casinos that card at the door. I'm 31 and I get carded every single time. In AC it's a little different. You'll see younger kids on the casino floor all of the time since you almost always have to walk through to get to the restaurants and shops. They clearly don't card you walking in or around. If you're sitting at a slot machine or table, 98% of the time, someone will come over and card you. At tables, like craps, they'll card you before you can play if you look young enough.

All the casinos around here are 18 and up. Actually, the nicest casino in this part of our state never cards anyone. You just walk in and out whenever and wherever you feel like. I have been to a different casino though that not only carded us, but ran our ids through some crazy machine to make sure they were real. They didn't do that to everyone though, just young people. She can chance it, but she may end up spending the night in the hotel alone.

She knows she's not old enough. I'm not sure why she would have thought it was okay in the first place..

"I'm sorry but you are underage so we cannot let you join in on this one. We would love to have you at the next event"

Kristenann- we will be going to Foxwoods and Mohegan Sun in Connecticut. Personally, I have only been carded there when cashing out or ordering a drink, but I've had friends who have been carded just walking around the casino floor. It could go either way, and it's not something I want to chance. She, on the other hand, wants to chance it. I'm not sure how to tell her no.

If she wants to chance it, you can't really stop her, but just make sure she understands that if she can't get in, you guys will go on without her and she will be on her own. She can't expect you guys to change plans last minute if it doesn't work out.

At one of my friends' bachelorette parties, we were all of legal age, but when we got to the casino one girl realised she did not have her ID with her... and we all got carded. Somehow, I don't know how, the doorman was in a good mood and we managed to convince him that she was legal and he let her in, but for a few minutes it was very stressful because we didn't know what we were going to do and we felt bad knowing that she might be left out on her own.

To avoid this kind of situation and stress, just make sure the boundaries/expectations are set upfront.

Great advice, thank you

Stephanie- Mohegan rarely cards. Foxwoods on the other hand does. I think she would be fine at Mohegan - ive never been carded there, even when i was under 21.

First of all, she should not be putting you in this situation but that doesn't matter because she is. My suggestion would be to say whatever and let her do what she wants. If she gets carded, that's on her. She is not your responsibility at 20 years old. She can find something else to do.

I wouldn't want to be in the position. I've worked at some of the AC casinos, and they are super vigilant about this, but even if they weren't, I wouldn't want to be the person who was responsible for her 'chancing' it. You're chancing it too. What do her parents think?

She should sit this one out. She knows she's not old enough to go, so she should understand that.

Dad hasn't said anything, and usually doesn't in these situations. The mother enables her... buys her drinks at restaurants and events (like at our engagement party- neither here nor there, but just an example of where the mom's head is at). The mother has also tried to invite herself to the bachelorette weekend. She is a very generous and kind person, but doesn't quite see her place in all of this.