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Just Said Yes October 2021

How to handle messy family relationships

Samantha, on October 21, 2019 at 3:10 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 5
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So i have two problems.

My parents divorced when i was young and my mom remarried, and got divorced not too long ago (they were married for 9 years), but has a new bf who i cannot stand. I am still super close with my step family. but they don't like her anymore. is it rude of me to not invite my moms bf?


another issue, i don't talk to my brother and haven't in two years, but my parents expect me to invite him. but my FH and brother got in a fight (my brother was in the wrong and ended up hitting me first) so we haven't talked since. my mom and i have a rocky relationship because of it, but she still expects me to invite him.


i have thought about just getting eloped and not dealing with a wedding at all because of these two huge issues. But i have been dreaming of getting married and having a big wedding with all my family forever. But these issues are giving me such anxiety.

5 Comments

  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    1.)Yes, it's rude not to invite anyone's significant other. Unless this man has verbally or physically assaulted you, or some other equally awful offense, he should be invited.

    2.) Your brother physically assaulted you. No, he shouldn't be invited to your wedding. The fact that your mother wants you to invite him would make me not want to invite her either.

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    VIP September 2019
    Sarah Online ·
    • Flag
    Especially since your wedding is two years away, if your mom is still with this boyfriend at the time of your wedding it would be rude not to invite him. I’d table that conversation until much closer to the date.

    If your brother has physically assaulted you and your FH, you absolutely don’t need to invite him and I would hire security to make sure your mom doesn’t try to bring him anyway.
    • Reply
  • Brandi
    Devoted July 2020
    Brandi ·
    • Flag
    I agree. I would definitely invite the SO because couples are units despite our dislike. Unless he was absolutely disrespectful. Overall, I would suggest extending an olive branch - maybe time can and did heal some wounds between your brother. Thus, a conversation beforehand. However, if things haven’t changed - don’t feel bad, don’t invite him.

    if you dream of this form of wedding, have it. Don’t let anyone or anything stop you from having your dream wedding.
    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    1. I wouldn't make this decision until a few months before October 2021. They may not be together by then and/or your opinion of him may change. Ultimately, I think you will offend your mom by not inviting him. But again, I wouldn't stress about this now.

    2. At this point, I wouldn't invite him. But again, I wouldn't make guest list decisions until right before invites go out on these two people.

    • Reply
  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
    • Flag

    Don't give up your dream wedding just because of some family drama. Two years is a long time, and a lot can happen between now and then.

    I would just put these two on a "maybe" list until much closer to the wedding. You don't need to stress about this decision now.

    • Reply

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