How to handle messy family relationships

1.)Yes, it's rude not to invite anyone's significant other. Unless this man has verbally or physically assaulted you, or some other equally awful offense, he should be invited.

2.) Your brother physically assaulted you. No, he shouldn't be invited to your wedding. The fact that your mother wants you to invite him would make me not want to invite her either.

Especially since your wedding is two years away, if your mom is still with this boyfriend at the time of your wedding it would be rude not to invite him. I’d table that conversation until much closer to the date.

If your brother has physically assaulted you and your FH, you absolutely don’t need to invite him and I would hire security to make sure your mom doesn’t try to bring him anyway.

I agree. I would definitely invite the SO because couples are units despite our dislike. Unless he was absolutely disrespectful. Overall, I would suggest extending an olive branch - maybe time can and did heal some wounds between your brother. Thus, a conversation beforehand. However, if things haven’t changed - don’t feel bad, don’t invite him.

if you dream of this form of wedding, have it. Don’t let anyone or anything stop you from having your dream wedding.

1. I wouldn't make this decision until a few months before October 2021. They may not be together by then and/or your opinion of him may change. Ultimately, I think you will offend your mom by not inviting him. But again, I wouldn't stress about this now.

2. At this point, I wouldn't invite him. But again, I wouldn't make guest list decisions until right before invites go out on these two people.

Don't give up your dream wedding just because of some family drama. Two years is a long time, and a lot can happen between now and then.

I would just put these two on a "maybe" list until much closer to the wedding. You don't need to stress about this decision now.