How to handle family members inviting other people to the wedding...

No one should be offered the opportunity to pay for a guest. It's an invitation event, and you control the invites.

Just as an aside; of course, I'm at an average of 3-5 events a weekend. When they get too stuffed with people that don't personally know the couple, the atmosphere completely changes. Something to keep in mind, especially when you're coughing up many dollars to have them there.

Oh, and as I've said before, "no" is a complete sentence.

Oh good! Plus, that could snowball haha, and you don't just anyone thinking they can pay their way in!

Can you clarify (and sorry if I missed it) whether your half-sister's daughter was invited as your half-sister's guest? Or if the daughter got her own invitation?

@Princess, OP mentions having invited them as a family. The daughter did not get her own invite.

The half-sister's daughter was invited as their whole family like 'The Smith's Family' and then in the inner envelope I wrote the sister, husband, and the three children's name on the invitation. The daughter did NOT get her own invitation.

But she should have. Adults, even those who live at home, should receive their own invitation.

Gotcha, sorry I missed that! A little late now, but I do agree with Stephanie that as an adult, she should have gotten her own invitation with the invitation to bring her SO. At this point though, it's kind of up to you what you want to do! I wouldn't tell her that you're going to wait for declines, that seems a little rude. I'd just decide now one way or the other and stick with it.

When I was 19, my cousin didn't invite DH to her wedding despite us having dated for two years. She invited several other cousins plus ones who had been dating for even less time. I was extremely hurt that out of all of the cousins in the family with SO I was the only one whose SO wasn't extended an invitation. I would talk to her about it and see about how she feels about the situation.

@stephanie I was living at home during school breaks and I was invited as a part of xy family all other cousins several of which lived at home were individually invited.

Update: She responded to my original text idea to my FH and said the following. Now I'm wishing I never said anything about the budget but maybe I can still swing with the capacity of the venue.

"Np. Totally understand. We can pay for him if needed as well. Also need to be sure u have space. Not urgent!!!"

Also, I value everyone's opinion/advice on here but I have decided that I don't think it was necessary in my case that the SO should have been invited in the first place so please don't continue on with that advice.

I will be doing it as a family thing. If they aren't married and especially if they live at home (or their parents pay for their bills) they are still under their parents. Exception if they live on their own and have a child/ren. Most of my cousins are about my age and aren't on their own really. If they have a different address then they will get a separate invite.

Most of the regulars on this forum will advocate vociferously that you host your guests properly; etiquette does say that adults should have a plus one. That being said, I think that it has to be within the realm of reason. We are not giving every single adult that attends our wedding a plus one. Unmarried VIPs (bridal party, and a couple out of town guests that won't know anyone there) are getting plus ones (to use at their discretion). For all other unengaged/unmarried guests, SOs that we have met before are invited. Everyone else? Sorry. There is not one person there that does not have at least 2 friends or family members. They will have a good time, or they can just skip it. Perhaps it is slightly selfish, but I think that you have to have limits.

I'm sorry you were treated poorly, Beatrice. That doesn't excuse poor behavior by others, though.

OP, you're relatively new, so I'll put this gently - if you don't want to host properly and follow etiquette, WW may not be the best forum for you. Askholes don't go over well here. Yes, you should have extended the invite for her SO in the first place. It's a mistake (and as easy one to make) that you can easily fix by inviting him now.

Lurkers, this is why, when you begin planning your guest list, you should assume all single adults will have an SO at the time invitations go out. SOs are invited by name. They are not plus ones. Plus ones are when you give a single guest the option to bring the guest of their choice. They are not required, but nice to offer, especially for guests that have to travel or won't know many others.

@celia I needed to see that. No is a complete sentence. I just had a ahah moment

Cool Sqwiggy. Preferably with a straight on eye contact, deadpan stare.

"no".

Partly because people who ask stupid crappy things expect that you'll backpedal and they'll get to do the stupid crappy thing they wanted to do.

That girl's boyfriend does NOT want to be at your wedding. Trust me. It's like little kids, friends of friends and about half the dogs I have in my weddings.

So don't let them or make them.

Stephanie - did you read all the comments on this thread? To me it looks like its a very diverse collection of advice about this situation. Even though I'm new to this site doesn't mean I've never been on a forum before and haven't done my share of 'lurking'. I have never seen this topic be 'one sided' on WW so that's why I asked the question. I think this thread is very informative and helpful for me and possibly other members on this forum. I personally think WW is great for me but thanks for your input on whether this site is best place or not.

CM - I tend to agree with you that the BF probably doesn't even want to be at my wedding with not knowing anyone there except for my future cousin and her family.

I'm going to talk with FH tonight over dinner and maybe just give his half-sister a direct answer. If he strongly feels to wait like we orginally texted her, I suppose I'm okay with that idea as well - it's a good compromise. I'm pretty strong though now after the advice on here that I don't want to have her pay for him as an option though.

MayBride nailed it.

Catherine, sound like you've sort of made a decision, and hopefully FH's half sister can respect that. I'm in the camp that you've never met this person so why would you want to have them at your wedding.

If you can afford it and there is space, I think you should invite him. Let him decide if he doesn't want to come. Who knows if they will last and he will become part of your family.

Ugh no. 

I hate to be late to the party here, but I'm gonna agree with the people here who say to not invite your invitee's SO, especially if you don't personally know the person.

I invited way too many close people on a tight budget. I already have to accommodate them and entertain my own guests, so I wouldn't want to celebrate my marriage inviting people I don't care about or haven't met at all (unless it's an invitee's husband/wife).

I think Catherine made the right decision to not invite her FH's half sister's daughter's boyfriend. Anyone that tries to make her feel guilty about not inviting people at her own wedding clearly are not giving the right advice here. Just saying.

Either way it's never ok to ask someone to pay for a guest or ask them to wait until you get rsvp's back to decide. He is either invited or he is not. Make the decision and stick to it.