How to gracefully tell someone you don't need them as a bridesmaid?

To answer your question there's no "graceful" way to do a rude thing.

Thanks for the help ladies! I just needed to hear from ppl who are not in my family. Congrats to all of you!

You sound spoiled and ungrateful. No one gives a fuck about your wedding, my wedding, or the next girls wedding in the same capacity that the bride does. If she flakes, get over it. If she hasn't gotten the dress she'll probably drop out on her own.

OP, I would suggest adding "Update" to you title and whatever page # your "thanks ladies..." comment is on (I'm on mobile, I can't tell) or you may continue to get barraged with answers. Just a thought!

Don't tell her- just stop texting/calling her. Maybe she's trying to give you a hint? Maybe for some reason she is trying to distance the friendship? Or wants to opt out and doesn't know how to tell you. Stop reach it to her, continue about your wedding planning and let her come to you. If she comes back around in time to still buy a dress, etc. allow her too, if not, it's her own fault. There is only so much you can do.

I can understand your frustration but as PPs have said the sides don't have to be even (if that's your main concern) now my questions would be- has she actually ordered her dress? (Keep in mind she might be waiting just a bit longer to avoid ordering a size too big or small) but most importantly have you tried to reach out to her individually (not group text) not related to your wedding but as a friend?

Don't. It just ruins a friendship. Also, maybe she has a lot going on? I have a friend who flakes and doesnt respond etc when her depression is getting the best of her.... maybe just take her out to lunch and see why she isn't being responsive. That's what a real friend would do.

If that person is stressing you out and not answering any of your text or emails. I will kick the person out of wedding sooner than waiting to late. I had the same issue with my maid of honor. I had to kick her out of my wedding all together. That was the best decision I ever made. Yes it's not easy but, you have to do what's best for you. It's your wedding.

It all comes down to are you willing to lose a friend?

I was in my best friends wedding and she had to kick out one of her bridesmaids because the bridesmaid was being a pain, she didn't like the color of the dress, or flowers, long story short, this bridesmaid caused all of us to exchange our dresses to the original color my friend had picked and flowers.

That was over 8 yrs ago and they have not spoken since. But I know my friend and if this one bridesmaid was just not responding then she would have asked one of her other girls to contact her and see if she was getting all the information she needed for the wedding.

I would be more concerned about her as a friend than a bridesmaid at this point. Try and get together and leave the wedding out of it to see how she is. At the end of the day if she knows what dress she needs.. She'll either be there or she won't.

It's been said a thousand times and I'll say it again: no one will be as excited for your wedding as you are. Maybe she has things going on her life that are keeping her busy right now. Demoting her as a bridesmaid will likely end your friendship.