How to gently cancel wedding photographer?

Im actually shocked at how unprofessional your photographer is being over this situation. 9 months is more than enough time to book someone else in the date. You just need to stand firm, review your contract and tell them you understand the difficulties of the past few years, but in the interest of your family's health this is the decision that needs to be made.

I understand how you would feel uncomfortable, and want to address it. Consider this not a confrontation, but a business decision. It's also a learning lesson for both of you. This photographer could brush up on her professionalism in order to be a better business owner. Either she's brand new or manipulative. You're not doing her a personal favor in hiring her or keeping her. Moreover, I believe you teach people how to talk to you. So this is good practice. Unless you cried on your photographer's shoulder, this is business and you do not need to provide personal reasons for termination (your health or your family's). She already knows of the date change. Instead keep it neutral and almost generic-- a response to her poorly written last email. Try "Thank you for your time spent on our wedding, October 2023. However, we have decided to go a different way. After reviewing our contract, we acknowledge we are forfeiting the balance of $xxx. Please let us know immediately if further steps are needed by you to cancel this contract. Best wishes with the upcoming wedding seasons." {name and partner's name}. With each interaction, you'll become more empowered to assert your boundaries. It takes practice and fortitude. Best wishes.

I feel you, and I would be so mad at that photographer for putting me in that position. I am just struggling with telling vendors I am going with someone else before they've done anything except talk to me. I think we need to remind ourselves that we are a client, but we are not responsible for providing them business.