A good friend of ours is getting married next spring. We live on opposite sides of the country. The couple has been friends with us for about 3 years now, and they did make the effort to come to our wedding in January.
Now, I know weddings are not tit for tat, but we are feeling bad about not really wanting to go to their wedding. They have not sent save the dates or invites yet but we know we will be invited. They asked us for our address and have send us texts telling us to keep the date open and look into travel, etc. (I know their guest list can change and we can be let off the hook, but for now...)
After briefly looking at flights and hotels in the area, it's going to cost us roughly $2,000 all said and done for a long weekend with flights and a hotel (Friday wedding), on top of having to take two days off work.
My husband and I have gotten really serious about family planning and hope to be trying for a baby by the time their wedding comes around. We've already started super-saving, I had an OBGYN appointment to make sure everything is good to go, etc. We don't want to tell anyone we are planning this because its a sensitive subject and who knows what will happen or how long it'll take to get pregnant but I really can't see myself wanting to spend my hard earned savings on a wedding when that could go towards our pregnancy/baby/hospital bill/etc.
1.) Am I selfish for not wanting to go to their wedding even though they came to ours? (We'd still send a gift and well wishes to them.)
2.) How do I avoid the topic or stear our friends away when they ask or talk about their wedding with us?