How to discuss concerns with sister (moh) covid 19

View Quoted Comment New York is on lockdown and Cuomo is not playing around. Her venue and she are both being ridiculous. In NY, the executive orders are a requirement, not a suggestion. I would honestly work on convincing your father to not go versus whatever nonsense is going through her head. I can't imagine how devastating it is to have to postpone or cancel, but it's something outside of anyone's control. My sister in law is supposed to get married at the end of June, and she has decided to postpone. It sucks, but public health is more important than a wedding. I would honestly point blank ask her how she would feel about herself if her father gets COVID-19 at her wedding and dies. Will she be able to live with that guilt? It's harsh, but it's the reality we're living in. I live in NJ. I know multiple people who have it. I have many friends who are doctors and nurses and EMS workers within NJ and NYC. This isn't pretty. FEMA has sent refrigeration trucks to NYC hospitals because the morgues are full. This virus is highly contagious and hand sanitizer is not going to negate 175 hugging and dancing etc.

View Quoted Comment I absolutely agree!!! 100 percent. I raised the issue of our dad to her and she said he was an adult and it was his responsibility if he attends. I don’t understand how someone is comfortable putting people in this position, but it’s difficult to discuss with them since I am not making the decisions.

This really sucks, but it sounds like she's not going to listen to reason and is going to have to see for herself. Even if she is legally able to have the wedding on that date, I seriously doubt that her 175 guests will still attend. Some may, but most will probably cancel. She will probably end up having to postpone or at the very least, make big changes to her plans.

You have to keep yourself safe, so just tell her that you would love to be there for her big day, but it's just not safe at this point. ((Hugs))

May 23rd bride here! Gosh I really do feel for her. Postponing is TOUGH and it's hard to stomach abandoning the day you've dreamed about for so long. I would be sympathetic but emphatic that as much as you want to support her, health has to come first right now. She would feel so guilty if her event led to more people getting sick, hospitalized, or spreading the virus to other people. I know I would.

It sucks that her venue is being so awful. There has to be a way to convince them, because the NY community would be furious if they heard how hard-nosed they were being. We were able to find several Fridays and Sundays this year that worked for all our vendors. We're only losing some money on the band, who had a rescheduling fee even in an "act of God" type scenario.

I FEEL her pain- I really do, but this is one of those times where we have to be painfully selfless. There are stories about how people that hosted funerals and other gatherings early in the outbreak led to so many people at that event getting ill or dying. Imagine how much worse that would be at a 5 hour wedding with a buffet/passed appetizers/lots of love and hugging. Weddings aren't just about the couple (although that's the main feature) or the gorgeous venue or decor, it's about family and being with your loved ones. If she has her wedding on the 23rd she'll forfeit the company of many of her loved ones.

Lots of love to you both at this time! It's so hard, but we will get through this. I hope you and your family (especially your little one to be) stay healthy and safe

View Quoted Comment So very well said!❤️ I appreciate your insight and I am wishing you the best with your wedding plans too! I cannot imagine how hard all of this for you all.

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Thank you so much!! It definitely hasn't been easy, but with a good backup plan and a supportive family it's gotten a lot easier. I know it'll get better for your sweet family too

Hello Katelyn,
NY here too. All places serving food in NY are closed except for take out. The venue will be forced to cancel when the ban is extended, and with the way things are going in NY it will be and the venue will have no choice but to postpone. Sounds like your sister is in a hard place right now. She hasn't accepted that her wedding will be postponed. She will get there. The governor is cracking down on people who are violating social distancing.
The best thing both you and your dad can do for her is tell her you wont be attending. Give her time to let it soak in that her family wont be there. I hope it will allow her to realize what needs to happen. Be supportive but stand your ground. Don't risk your health. If she replaces you then she is being extremely self centered. That is her deal and not yours. Be safe & Be well.

View Quoted Comment That’s a great perspective to have and I agree 100%!

View Quoted Comment It is a hard place to be in for sure! But yes, health needs to be number one. Thanks for the support and insight!

Good morning,

I live in NY and work for a catering hall PT in addition to my Airline career and I know for a fact that. It is not a suggestion. It is mandated that there are to be no social gatherings more than 5 people. No establishments can have seated guest at all.

Having hand sanitizers at a table does what for the fact that Covid can be spread though coughing, sneezing as well. The facility next door just received a fine for having 6 people in the office at one time. (one of their workers called 311 for their own safety. They have closed our parks and boardwalks because of people not social distancing so you dont fret the wedding wont be going on. Just be there for your sister as her feelings will be hurt.

Oh gosh I am so sorry for you. Our wedding is May 30th, and we are likely going to cancel, postpone, or elope instead of having the original event we planned. Right now we are just waiting to see how things pan out in the next couple of weeks and see if any guidelines or developments will make it easier for us to figure out next steps (currently we can legally have our event, but we think if the gov't shuts us down we will be in better shape to get a refund instead of forfeiting our deposits, and at the very least we'll have a little more knowledge about what alternatives are actually realistic, since things are changing so rapidly). We'd prefer not to make a Plan B only to have to make a Plan C only to not have that work either.

The safety of our guests is super important. Currently the US death rate is about 2.6%. Ask your sister which 4 or 5 of her 175 guests she's picking to have die because they go to her wedding? We're only having a 60-80 person event, but that's still 1-2 people. As a bride-to-be that is very sobering to think about. A wedding is supposed to be a celebration, not a game of Russian roulette. Additionally, does she really want a wedding where people are afraid to hug and dance?

I hope things are little closer to back to normal by May 23, but I think she's going to be in for a very rude awakening when she finds out that her gathering of 175 isn't allowed to go forward.

I would wait to see where we're at come May 1st. She may not have a choice and the shutdowns/lockdowns maybe be extended.

If she continues to proceed and the cdc has deemed it "safe" . Then I think you politely decline. It's a very difficult decision for both you and her. But May 23rd is still a ways out and the lockdowns could be lifted by then....