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Beginner December 2013

How to demand RSVP?

Future Mrs. K, on July 27, 2013 at 5:23 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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Our wedding isn't going to be a formal wedding by any means. Just a simple dessert reception prepared by yours truly (as long as don't go insane before then). My question is....how do I demand guests RSVP politely? I NEED to know an amount because I have to rent chairs and tables (which adds up quickly) and of course make an appropriate amount of desserts. We will have roughly 200 invites, but since the wedding is 3 days before Christmas I know that not everyone will be able to show up. Any help from you brides and grooms out there would be great!

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Maureen, on July 27, 2013 at 10:08 PM

Master February 2014
mrsrobinvalentine · on July 27, 2013 at 7:31 AM
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I would start reaching out to guests after the replied date expired. I would confirm if they actually received them. Then ask them if they will be able to attend.
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Super December 2014
Loren A futr J · on July 27, 2013 at 7:34 AM
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Yes you have to call and ask if they got the invite i know....it sucks
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Beginner December 2013
Future Mrs. K · on July 27, 2013 at 7:41 AM
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Do do I have to send an RSVP card? Or can I give them the option of calling, texting, or emailing me? From what I've heard few people actually send back the RSVP cards...idk...I know personally I'd call, text or email before I'd go through the trouble of having to go to the post office.
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Super December 2014
Loren A futr J · on July 27, 2013 at 7:45 AM
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I always send back the card. You are supposed to send the card if your goin or not but in todays world i dont see why you couldnt txt or email. If you have a wed website they can rsvp on there. Very few people know how important that rsvp card is. I think its the most stressful part. Waiting for rsvps...yuck...
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Master December 2012
Just Reenski · on July 27, 2013 at 10:47 AM
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If you're already concerned about people not RSVPing, start casually mentioning how you'll need specific numbers in conversation. Not directly, but just so it gets them thinking.

If you have a wedding website, do an FAQ page including why they need to RSVP.

Whether or not people send back the cards depends on your crowd. There's ladies that have very few issues, some have a lot. Are your guests very used to weddings? Or are they used to casual "You'll know I'll be there!" events?

Make your RSVP date with about a week buffer, so you can call those who don't send back the card. Find out from your rentals company when the last day you can change the order is, and give yourself about a week and a half to two weeks from that for your RSVP date.
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Devoted October 2026
Maureen · on July 27, 2013 at 10:08 PM
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I find that when people don't RSVP they don't really want to go or they are waiting til the last minute on the RSVP to see if something better comes along so they don't have to spend money for gifts. If my guests do not respond by 2 weeks after the RSVP date, I am taking it as a no and if they call saying they want to come, I will say, "I'm sorry but you didn't respond by the RSVP date so to me that meant you weren't coming. You could have called, texted or gone to my website and mail back the card. You did neither so what else was I supposed to think. I have a strict budget and everything is set now."

I know it sounds mean and maybe unrealistic to some, but I don't want a big wedding to begin with so this is another reason I won't tolerate responses beyond RSVP date. I am not chasing anyone down to see if they are coming.
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