Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Dedicated January 2014

How to decline being Matron of Honor

lolo, on April 27, 2014 at 7:09 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

Saved

Flag
Hide content

Hello Ladies,

I need some advice, I got married in January and i asked one of my close friends to be a bridesmaid, she said no straight away (granted it was a destination wedding) i told them 11 months in advanced and she didn't even try to see if she could make it but flat out refused, which, like i said is understandable.

But for my hens night she left after an hour to see her boyfriend, who she no longer loved and was cheating on, and she didn't even rock up to my bridal shower and now she wants me to be her Matron of Honor, i love her but after her not really giving a stuff about my wedding, i really do not want to be her Matron of Honor and throw her hens night and bridal shower. I know she is only asking me because she fell out with her best friend so it's like i am the second option anyways. And after my wedding hubby and i are working hard to pay off some debts, so financially it would be hard on us too.

How do i decline without sounding like a bitch?

Flag
Hide content

9 Comments

Latest activity by lolo, on April 27, 2014 at 7:33 PM

VIP September 2014
Amy L · on April 27, 2014 at 7:12 PM
Flag

Hide content
That's hard I'd tell her that you don't have the time and the money. It's a big commitment and a lot of money.
- Reply
Master September 2014
Barbara · on April 27, 2014 at 7:13 PM
Flag

Hide content
You were very understanding in her decline, hopefully she could offer you the same courtesy.

I would simply tell her you don't have the time or money you would want to devote to her wedding. Make sure you add in that you are really looking forward to celebrating with her at her wedding.

Out of curiosity, she isn't marrying the guy she was cheating on, is she?
- Reply
Master August 2014
A&G · on April 27, 2014 at 7:15 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would say: Thanks for the honour, but due to financial reasons you won't be able to be her matron of honor.
Perhaps suggest that you would be happy to be a bridesmaid, just not the MOH.
- Reply
Master July 2014
mscountry · on April 27, 2014 at 7:16 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would just say you can't give her wedding the attention it needs right now.
- Reply
Dedicated January 2014
lolo · on April 27, 2014 at 7:17 PM
Flag

Hide content
Thanks girls, i hope she can show me the same courtesy i showed her when she declined.

She is marrying the guy she was cheating with - who was married at the time - it's all very messy!
- Reply
Super July 2014
kelsey · on April 27, 2014 at 7:18 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would just say I am so honored that you asked me, unfortunately I don't think I am able to fully commit right now because of things going on in my life and I wouldn't be able to be there 100% for you. Do you still want to be a bridesmaid at all? You could say I would love to be a bridesmaid instead... or you could even just say you are unable to attend the wedding on that day because of another previous engagement if you really want to avoid it all together.
- Reply
Master September 2014
Barbara · on April 27, 2014 at 7:25 PM
Flag

Hide content
Ugggh : (

I wouldn't want to be her MoH, either. . .
- Reply
Master April 2015
kaylarae · on April 27, 2014 at 7:32 PM
Flag

Hide content
"No" ... haha just tell her that you have a lot on your plate and won't be able to give her wedding as much attention as it should have.
- Reply

Dedicated January 2014
lolo · on April 27, 2014 at 7:33 PM
Flag

Hide content
@kelsey, i would love to be her bridesmaid but in all honesty i am a little scared of that too!
last time i was a bridesmaid i ended up spending about $1500 on the whole thing but that was when i was still living at home with mum and dad so i could afford it, but i could not afford that much now, and my friend has expensive taste.
I think being a BM is less stress then being MOH though!
- Reply