How to Deal with Alcoholics?

Well, for one, if they are actually alcoholics you won't be able to stop them from drinking. I say that as an alcoholic/addict in recovery with 2 years sober. The wristbands would just be taken off, if they really wanted to drink, and in reality they could run somewhere close by to buy their own alcohol, or may already have some with them in a flask. The only thing I can think of is to let your bartender know who to watch out for and to ask him/her to limit their drinks. I really hope all goes well for you, and I wish I had better advice for you!

I think having a conversation with them is going to go over much better than telling them they have to wear a wrist band that says they can't be served alcohol. Not only is that humiliating, but it's ineffective. If they want to drink, they will find a way. Have someone else order their drinks, bring their own, remove the wrist band, etc. Your bartender should know not to over serve anyone that has had more than enough to drink.

I wish I had some sage advice for you. I'm dealing with a similar situation, so I would like to follow this thread, looking for any good advice I can find.

We have decided on beer and wine only, in the hopes that the few really heavy drinkers we have coming won't be able to get as trashed if they don't have access to hard alcohol. Not sure if that's going to work, but it's what we have so far. Our venue is a golf course/restaurant/sports bar place. So, our reception will be in one of the rooms of the clubhouse, and the sports bar is right next door. Anyone who wants more than just beer or wine can go next door and buy themselves a harder drink. That foils our plan a little, but these are adults, and they can choose for themselves. We wanted to offer our guests something, without going overboard. I don't want to have to pay for Uncle Jimmy to get trashed on premium liquor and make a fool of himself at our wedding. That might be a partial solution for you too. Just beer and wine.

Definitely let your bartender know. They are professionals and they know how to handle it if they are experienced.

Some advice I gave another bride was to seat them as far away from the bar as they could. That way it might be a little more inconvenient to get a drink. Also make a limit for all guest, (i.e. one drink per person per visit) that way no one is sneaking extra drinks.

It might not be the way you want to spend your money but hiring security would be ideal.

I know the struggle! For us, we didn't want it to bother us on the day of. Our bar is open, but doesn't open until after the ceremony (so during cocktail hour). We talked to our venue's bartenders & explained we do have a few who overindulge so to be careful about over-serving. We contemplated beer & wine, no liquor, but people get plenty drunk on wine and beer so I don't think it's worth punishing everyone else. We also are skipping table side wine, and hiring two security guards. They come in a suit and appear to work for the venue, so ideally they never have to do anything, but they are there to deal with situations if they get bad.

Thanks everyone! I know they’ll find it if they want it. Maybe hiring security or getting someone to pay attention and take them home if they notice any bad signs. This is literally the only thing I’m stressed about for our wedding, out of the whole list of things to do. Lol.

I'm having the same issue myself. But I have threatened my father with in a inch of his life. If he can't stay sober he's not invited. I'm done.... good luck to you!! Hugs

View Quoted Comment Ugh sorry it has to be that way for you! Good luck to you too!

View Quoted Comment He ruined my 1st wedding and we didn't speak for years. So I hope he will listen.

Hire bouncers. My fh cousin is a correctional officer and he said he will call a cab for those who drink to much lol

Definitely do not give wristbands. That is so insulting. Maybe consider a "no shots" rule. Also, tell your bartender it is okay to cut people off if they are too drunk. That is their job.

Our venue does not do shots but I plan to give pictures or names of people I’m worried about to our bartenders so they know who to keep a closer eye on

Ugghhh our issue as well!! Fortunately for us our Venue provides security, and we have/will pre-warn both sides of the family and friends that its out of our hands and if they ask you to leave then thats on you

Coming from a family of alcoholics, I know this is a giant stressor for you. But, you and I both know that even with a band on, alcoholics will find a way to drink regardless. You can either 1) not invite them and set boundaries and not enable them or 2) at the first sign of acting out, they are forced to leave. Good luck, I know it's hard. It's easier said than done, but try not to worry about what others are going to do.

Hah... Yep. Me, even FH 🙄 I'm not serving alcohol. Although I am not saying no if they brought their own beer. Which would make them stop when it's over so... Hah! On their faces!.... Sorry I'm just tired of them getting so drunk lol

I am in the same boat as you! FH and I both have a parent thats an alcoholic (although they won'tn admit they are) and we are struggling on how to handle it. We decided so far instead of a full bar to only have wine and beer. I am going to have a talk with them before hand and discuss my concerns but ultimately they are adults and I have to trust they will keep my FH and I's best interest at heart and not get drunk. I'm not sure how your family members would react being told they can't have a wrist band to drink but it might be a good idea to try and stop them from anyways. Best of luck!

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Exactly this. You can't really control other people, and unfortunately will just have to hope for the best.

My Maid of Honor is the one who can't control her alcohol. I have asked her sister to come so that when she gets to that point, she can remove her from the group. Once she found out about having a "babysitter" she said it was insulting but the thing is, she insults others once she breaks that barrier. Shes an angry drunk, calling people assholes for no reason and repeatedly tells them to stop talking when they are telling a story. Everyone always asks me how I'm still friends with her. But shes such an awesome person until she becomes the angry drunk, which she always gets to. Now she doesn't want to come. I'm not sure what to do since the venue is over an hour away but I guess if we have to pay a $150 uber it's probably worth it. I thought the "babysitter" idea was a good one...maybe I just went about it wrong 😕