How to de-bridesmaid a friend?

Good luck

You can't really uninvite a bridesmaid without damaging and potentially losing the friendship. Is it really worth it? Why not tell her how she crossed boundaries? I don't really understand why you didn't say something at the time.

1. You should not do this and not over something so petty as her wanting to spend time with you in a vacation.

2. If you insist there is no nice way to do this. You just tell her honestly and be prepared to have lost that friend foreve r

You asked her too early to be a bridesmaid. If you ask her to step down and no longer be a bridesmaid prepare to lose the friendship.

Instead, I would distance yourself from her so that she doesn't annoy you between now and the wedding. I would keep her as a bridesmaid but be sure that you talk with her about why you were upset on your family vacation.

You asked too early. You cant do this without ending the relationship.

De-bridesmaiding someone is just awkward punishment and it ruins friendships and makes everything awkward, just suck it up, I'm sure you'll be over it by the time the wedding comes around we all have friends that make mistakes

If she's such a good friend, why not just have a conversation with her and tell her how you feel and move past it and continue a friendship? You will lose the friendship if you kick her out.

She she went on your family vacation but you only wanted to spend a day or two with her??? Then why invite her? Super petty reason to demote someone. People make mistakes, it happens.

You can’t demote someone, you can’t fire them. They’re not employees or servants. This is will friendship ending. If you’re ok with that, then proceed, or perhaps do the adult thing and have a conversation about how a line was crossed...You’re both adults, perfectly capable of adult conversation and feelings...

Oh believe me ladies, I had the conversation, but she blew it off like it was no big deal. Yes, she joins us for a day or two bc we live near enough to Disney that she goes to work comes down on her day off and then goes home.

Are you prepared to end the friendship?

I think you should try talking to her again about the boundaries she crossed. Ask her to repeat in her own words what you're trying to say, and ask how she feels about what you've shared. And if she brushes it off, tell her, "This is very important to me, and it's been bothering me, and because I care about you so much I don't want it to affect how I view our friendship. And I need you to show me you understand and that things will be different." Does that help?

Are you de-flowering your friend?

Cuz you can't de-bridesmaid

Damn, OP doesn't play around. How dare her friend want to spend more than a day or two with her?! She should be put in the stocks, what terrible behavior.

Yeah sorry, agree with the pp...we need actual details here. Because if spending more time with you than usual, on what appears to be an annual thing, is cause for ending a friendship and having her not be a bridesmaid, then it seems like you're the one being ridiculous.

So, as long as she's supportive during whatever you and FH went thru everything is fine, but when she perhaps oversteps a boundary, she's suddenly so horrible that she must go? Are you more upset that she overstayed and became the center of attention instead of you being the center of attention. Dammit, I'm the bride. Pay attention to ME!!!!

Your wedding is a year away. There is no reason to have such a knee jerk reaction and kick her out. Clearly you are upset about whatever happened on the trip (which you haven't really explained). Take some time away from her and cool off. Kicking her out will most likely end the friendship as pp's have said.

What if she did this when you weren't engaged, or after you're already married? Would you "de-friend" her? Just because you're engaged doesn't mean you get a free pass to be mean to your friends.

Look at the bigger picture here.

Look, thank you everyone for ur comments and concerns. My FH and I have been talking and we both agree she is a good friend and we will see how this plays out. Fyi we both live locally in the Disney area as I am a cm. Also boundary crossed: flirting and trying to hold my FH hand in the park and eating my sister in laws food and taking away a bed from my young niece

You asked way too early, and none of her 'attrocities' warrant dropping her.

If you're willing to lose the friendship, go ahead and drop her over imaginary transgressions.

See...details matter kids.

Definitely things that AREN'T okay for most people. The flirting thing would have been addressed as it happened. Eating someone else's food? Eh rude but not friendship ending - some people (My own mother for instance) just don't understand you don't take any of someone's food unless it's offered...sharing is caring and all that. Taking away nieces bed? I'm just confused as to how that would happen, but not cool.