How to communicate "no gifts necessary"?

Aw, lol, I like what your Mom said

So I get what youre trying to do here... and I hope you are well organized bc this could get pretty messy especially if youre doing it on the same day. I understand your a figure of the church and you want to be able to include everyone, but tiered weddings are pretty awful for the folks who arent "close friends and family." I like that you are doing a cake and punch reception so everyone can participate- but what happens if your congregation folk hear about the dinner later and assume that its open to them as well? Is it going to be in the same location? Is there going to be a substantial gap in between the cake and punch reception and the dinner reception? What are your guests going to be doing to kill time between the gaps? I just urge you to consider the guests POV in you taking this on.

As for the gifts- DO NOT WRITE ANYTHING ABOUT GIFTS (or your desire to not recieve them) ON THE INVITATION. I would just use your power of persuasion by word-of-mouth that you do not expect nor want gifts.

Good luck.

What FutureMrsWanzer said.

I'm not a big fan of tiered weddings, but I think what you're doing is fine - cake and punch for everyone, private dinner/reception for close people later. Considering you both are pastors and that you want to share your joy with your congregations, I find what you're doing acceptable.

But as for your question... I would just spread it word of mouth. You're going to have some give you gifts, of course, and you'll handle that with grace. But making an announcement would be a bit awkward.

You don't mention anything about gifts in an invitation. It is best to spread this by word of mouth.

And what she is doing is actually OK.

She is properly hosting everyone after

the ceremony with a cake and punch reception. And then a separate invitation later for dinner for some people. This is NOT against etiquette. It would be wrong if she were doing *nothing* after the church ceremony for some people and then only having a dinner for other people. That is not the case here.

@emily I agree. Just wanted to make sure she considers all the variables to ensure theres no mixup and unexpected guests show up to the private dinner reception later.

My FH has been married before and did not want some people to think they had to give a second gift for this wedding so some of our response cards are going to have "the honor of your presence is requested no presents necessary"

Ok, so just not say anything about gifts at all - good call, of course that's better - what was I thinking?

As for the tiered reception stuff, I'm generally not a fan either, but given our situation, we haven't been able to come with anything that's really better. I actually ran it by some of my most trusted "church ladies" and they all absolutely think it's fine and are very understanding that we want/need some time with just our family and friends.

Thanks for the help, ladies!

Yep, yep, and yep! I just wanted to say that you got really good advice here about not saying anything and that your method of tiered is fine. Another vote of confidence!

Just dropping in to say welcome to WW!

If you are inviting the church people via the monthly newsletter, I would put the gift thing there as well. Just put "No gifts please" underneath the ceremony time.

As a church member I think how your handling the day makes perfect sense.

For the congregation, I would include the "no gift" in the newsletter, but I would say nothing to those who would receive actual invitations. I didn't register or have a shower, and I am leaving it entirely up to guests whether or not they choose to give something at the wedding, while word of mouth is "we need nothing, just come celebrate with us".

In fact, something like that may work for you! Something like "for all our friends who may wonder, we need nothing, just come celebrate and worship with us".

This is pretty common for church leaders. I think you're handling it perfectly.

Welcome to WW! Change your avatar to something other than the rings -- the rings are usually associated with trolls/spam. Plus it will help other brides recognize you! Also, read this: https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/welcome-to-the-weddingwire-community-please-read-for-forum-lingo-helpful-faq/b433c40c1a62b96a.html

Welcome to WW!!