How to ask for cash on the invitations politely?

View Quoted Comment Sorry, but this is tacky as hell. I cringe when I get a poem like this in a wedding invitation. Everyone KNOWS cash is a great gift, they don’t need reminding. Stay away from the Pinterest poems.

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At that is your opinion.. but you do not have a right to call anything someone else does for there own wedding Tacky! so, if you didn't like it then you should have just moved on. My FH got everything for our home when his mother died and so we do not need anything. we would love a new living room set, but there was no way we were going to ask for something like that.

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Agreed with this. If someone is going to bring a gift, they will bring a gift and chances are there is no gift receipt for non registry items... Nobody can prevent this because it's rude to ask for cash. Many people do cash or check since it's easier BUT there's no stopping someone who wants to gift say expensive Lenox for weddings. Which is often times the case for those who prefer giving physical gifts. If someone can't be respectful and accept a beautiful piece of glassware or gold plated photo album I am not sure what to tell them. That's just rude and stupid..

View Quoted Comment The choice of gift is up to the giver. It is never up to the person receiving it. That is why it is rude to even consider putting any mention of gifts, including registry info., on or in an envelope with, the invitation. If these people want to give physical gifts, graciously accept them. Until very recently, in most areas and cultures in the US, not all, it was considered very rude for anyone except the couple's own older family to give them cash. And many people will give you a physical gift, or no gift at all, but no matter what you say, will NEVER give a cash gift. Anyone who wants to give a cash gift, can figure out, write a check. Anyone who is flexible, can call you or your family members and say, do B and G have anything they are saving up money for? Then, it is okay to say : We would really appreciate money we can use toward a car, a house, house renovations, furniture whatever you want. But if not asked, do not say anything to guests. You may, however, talk to your family or friends in WP and say, if anyone asks you our preference, it is money for _____. Anything beyond that is bad manners. People will choose the gifts they want to give. Do not accept anyone giving you a shower, which is always physical gifts, if you do not want gifts.

There is no polite way to ask. Most guests do that anyway, but most would be offended to be flat out asked for it. I understand what you're saying, my FH and I older, i'm 49 and he's 54, we've been married before and have all we need, but still would never ask for cash.

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She can give her opinion that it's tacky, just like you can post that you're doing it.

Speaking of opinions, I can't stand those Pinterest poems either. I'm not okay with blatant cash requests in any form, but the poems just make it worse, not better.

View Quoted Comment You wrote " but you do not have a right to call anything someone else does for there own wedding Tacky!" . .Actually, this is a public forum, and an etiquette and advice board at that. People should not attack a person. But people can express both positive and negative opinions of doing certain things. Including the fact that any etiquette book, expert, columnist on actual manners ( not supported by industry which only cares if you buy what they are selling,) will tell people that it is considered rude to indicate the kind of gift you prefer to receive, or mentioning gifts or money in any way, unless someone specifically asks you for suggestions. And making up a cute poem or saying does not make it any less rude or crass or tacky a practice. There is no nice or mannerly way to do it. The fact that one or one hundred brides say they are doing it, does not mean someone cannot talk about the etiquette standard, which is that such appeals are not considered socially acceptable. Tacky is a mild and non-offensive term for this practice. Miss Manners herself goes on to call it the juvenile and tasteless practice of composing poems and phrases to describe what is a truly unpleasant trend of couples asking for money or any other specific gifts of their gifts..

" gifts from their guests" correction.

In some cultures, money is the only acceptable gift. Just don’t say anything and don’t register. Most likely people will get the hint.
BTW, honeymoon funds go into a lump sum; they don’t necessarily go towards what the person thinks they are funding.

We are not registered anywhere. On our wedding website, down towards the very bottom there is a "registry" section. But I have this listed instead....

We've been together for a while now with all our pots and pans.

And as we don't need homely gifts, we have another plan!

We know it is not traditional, and not the way it is done.

But rather than a wedding list, we'd love a bit of sun!

So if you'd like to give a gift and send us on our way,

A donation to our honeymoon would really make our day!

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That's awesome!

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I agree with Quinta. In the modern age, where lots of couples don't need 'things' as much because they've already been living together, it's each couple's choice whether and how to ask for cash. In any event, to the person saying it's 'tacky' - we don't have to take your advice on what is rude and insulting - you don't seem to be much of an authority on that subject. The opinion is fine, but I'm sure an expert on manners would find a less judgmental way of saying it

View Quoted Comment Hi, how did you setup a registry that way ?

View Quoted Comment I used travelersjoy.com its kind of like other honeymoon websites. But it gives you option to create your own or use their templates. All you do is put where your going for your honeymoon and they will give you ideas.

Me and my fiance did not need any home stuff coz we haven't moved in together yet and will be moving around a lot together in the next 2 years. I did not wanna run the risk of getting bowls and random gifts and fiance's family likes to know exactly what to bring as gift so we went for honeymoon registry. We told our guests your presence is what we need but if you do want to give us something, you can contribute to the honeymoon we plan on going for.

This is what we included in our invitations for our upcoming wedding..More Than just kisses so far we’ve shared Our Home has been made with love and Care,Most Things we need we’ve already Got, And in our home we can’t fit a lot! A donation to our Wishing well would be great, But Only if you wish to participate.

We're doing a small wedding registry with a house fund through our wedding website. We've been together for 7 years and lived together for about 5 so most people have actually asked us "do you even NEED anything?" because I already have my kitchen setup. There are some things to put on the list like new dish set, mixer stand, and nicer kitchen knives, but most people have kind of gotten the hint that we won't really have a wedding registry.

On the other hand, we just received a wedding invite that specifically states that they won't be accepting gifts and we "can donate to their honeymoon fund in lieu of gifts". They did this by adding an extra insert with their wedding invites, instead of having it on the invite itself.

Almost every wedding I'm invited to or see in our circles, under registry, people write:

1. They are accepting cash gifts

2. They welcome a contribution to their honeymoon

3. They are saving up for xyz but don't specifically say they want cash.

Some have a small gift registry. Some don't.

View Quoted Comment I think it really depends on the guests. I wouldn't mind doing this for my mom's side of the family, but my dad's side is much more into proper etiquette and would flip. I have no idea what my FH's family would think of it.

We opted for no registry at all. No stress over how to word anything. No time wasted on a registry we don't want.

I've been trying to figure out how to do that as well. I've been to 3 weddings recently and they all asked for cash instead of gifts. I tend to give cash as gifts too.

I mean it's weird that we can have a "Money Dance" but we can't ask for money instead of gits. I went to a wedding that said something like 'Leave your wallet at home, the bar will be open. Just bring cash for tip and the money dance'

One that I went to wrote something like this....

We are so happy that you’ll be able to join us for our wedding. As many of you know, we have joined our families and have lived together for quite some time now. Our house is already filled with all the things we could ever need to make it a home. While the presence of your company is the only gift we could ever ask for, an alternative registry has been set up for those who have expressed an interest in offering a gift or cash contribution to mark the occasion.

Cash contributions will be used towards our honeymoon. Please vote as to where you think we should go on our online poll. We encourage you to continue to follow our website for pictures of our Adventures.

I personally did not take offense to that. I voted for Fiji and gave a gift that I thought would help them there. They sent everyone thank you post cards from Fiji which I thought was so cool.