How to ask a family member to photograph wedding as a gift?

No no no no no no no

NO.

PPs have it covered. I'm just here to voice me agreement with them.

Possibly, you could ask if she'd do the getting ready pictures, maybe even the ceremony. Ask her what she'd charge and see if she offers a discount or if it would be a total gift. She could be excited to give you this as a present, save herself a couple hundred dollars. Then, just hire another photographer to come to the reception.

Keep in mind, you'll never be able to please everyone. My brother, a photographer, told me he was offended that didn't ask him.

Wow, I am glad I put the question out there before I asked my relative. I heard your answers loud and clear. I do want to clarify that I did not intend to have the relative photograph the entire time - only the posed pictures of the wedding party/parents. I don't care about 75% of the photos that are typically included. Anyway, I am going back to the proverbial drawing board and will not be asking my relative. I in NO WAY want to take advantage of anyone.

Piper THANK YOU for listening!

Good to hear it OP =]

Why would you outright ask someone for a gift?

My brother is a photographer. I am not asking him to work my wedding !!! I want him to enjoy his little sisters wedding !! And I would never ask my brother to do anything for free!!! I promote his business, and would never want him to belittle himself and use his talents (that ppl pay good money for) to do something for free!! I support him in all endeavors and wouldn't dare ask him that

@Anne - My wedding is going to be simple and low key - my stepfather is officiating, my future MIL offered her flowers. The family member has photographed other family events. Again, I want to be clear, I wasn't planning to ask for the traditional range of photos - simply some of the wedding party posed, the parents and then she would be done. I was feeling awkward about asking her, I know how expensive photographers are, that's why I put it out to the forum first - to see what common wisdom is. I wouldn't want to make my relative feel bad or awkward or keep her from having fun. I am simply trying to watch what I spend, as I don't want to pay off my wedding for years. I am also not a typical bride - I'm "older" for having my first wedding (I'll be 39), don't care about/like most wedding traditions. I really just want to have the people I love most there to celebrate with me. Anything more than that is just icing.

It sounds like you want the people you love most there to work for you.

@_KitKatt - the last comment on your post was very hurtful and unnecessary. You do not know me, you do not know my life or my family. This is my first and only wedding - I do not know exactly how things are supposed to go. Please be a little kinder and less judgmental.

@LindseyO - I want the people I love most involved because that is what makes the day special to me. It means a lot to me to have my stepdad officiate - he and I are very close - he officiated at all of my stepsiblings' weddings. When I look at the tables and see my MIL's flowers that she offered, it will mean a lot to me.

Op most people here won't be "paying off their wedding for years" most of us have saved very hard to be able to pay off the wedding and not go into debt over a party. As for your comment about it being your "first and only wedding" many find that type of comment very judgmental. You think people plan to get married more than once?? No, things happen, you can't predict the future. We have brides here who have had first husbands pass away, become abusive, or simply grow apart. You think they expected that to happen?? Hell no!

Oh, I thought getting married to the person you love was what made the day special. Silly me.

Which family member is making the food?

Hey OP there are people who don't read all the comments before commenting themselves, so update your post saying that you're not going to ask after all

Glad to hear it....hire a photographer and all will be right with the world.

@FutureRand - okay, I get what you're saying about my comment. I truly did not mean to judge anyone's life. I know that no one plans to get married more than once and that life definitely does not go as planned. I should have phrased my statement more carefully and I apologize if I unintentionally hurt anyone's feelings.

@MrsCalderon - THANK YOU FOR THE TIPS!! Can you tell from my fumbling that this is my first (and probably last) post? HA HA!

Soooo glad to see you updated your original post to say you're not asking your family member to photograph your wedding! Smart decision, and thank you

Good decision! If you only want a limited number of pictures, there are lots of photographers who will do a 1-2 hour package very reasonably.

Great decision. Now get a real officiant.