How to address bridesmaid's hair color clashing with the dress.

No, it's not reasonable. It's her head and she can dye her hair how she wants to. Do not bring this up with her.

Yes, it is unreasonable. You shouldn't ask your closest girls to change anything about their appearance for you wedding. They are you friends, not your props.

Agreed. It is unreasonable and over-the-top to request a bridesmaid to change their hair color (which will be incredibly damaging and expensive for her to return to red afterward) for your wedding. Everyone’s eyes will be on you, not on your bridesmaids.

It’s a bad ask and it tends to go over badly.


My advice is: your wedding is not til October. Don’t stress this. You say she changes hair color frequently and that she herself made a comment about the clash. So, she may choose to change it on her own before then. But, she might not, and since she’s aware of the clash already, that means that her hair color is more important to her than how she looks for the day . I understand that for you it is pictures and more than just a day. But, that doesn’t tip the scale. And asking for a color family (natural) is unreasonable if that is not what she is comfortable with at the moment.
I know you are being super reasonable, thinking if she says no it is fine and you won’t push it, but often times in situations like these , the ask alone is enough to make it blow up.

I'm sorry, but I can't see this as anything but an over the top bridezilla request. If she is your one of your closest friends, do you want to really offend her about hair. I get that pink clashes with red, but I think you should let this go.

Whether the red is natural looking or not isn't important. If she wanted you to dye your hair red for her wedding, would you?

While I totally get not wanting her to have a crazy hair color, it would be unreasonable to ask her to dye her hair. Maybe she will decide on her own to change her hair color since she is the one that mentioned it to begin with.

I think that you would be overstepping if you asked her to change her hair color. Especially since she's been dyeing her hair for so long so it's nothing new.

No it would not be reasonable to ask her to change her appearance to suit your aesthetic. You obviously know when you asked her that she frequently dyes her hair. Yes, you are a bridezilla for even bringing it up.

If she can't go back to her regular look after the wedding, then it's an inappropriate request. Dresses take a couple minutes to take off, hair takes a few minutes to de-style. Hair color is a very expensive and long process especially with the color red. Your photos will not be ruined because you will be standing with your best friends.

I get that you don't want her hair and dress to clash and yes photos are forever, you will see the clash.

I was a MoH in a wedding where I would have been the only brunette, and the bride asked me to dye my hair blonde. I was happy to do it, and I agreed straight away.

If you are going to ask her, bring it up politely, Make sure you focus on the clash between dress and hair, not any personal criticism about her hair color or unnatural colors in general. She might be willing to hear you out, since she brought it up.

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Wow, this is shocking (that a bride actually thought your brunette hair was a problem, and you agreed!).

To the OP, I agree with everyone else that asking an attendant to dye their hair is an unreasonable request. Stephanie may have been fine with this but that doesn't make this an acceptable thing to ask a friend.

Especially since she’s been coloring her hair for a few years now, I think it’s unreasonable to ask her to specifically change colors for your wedding. I don’t know how long your friend’s hair is but coloring for me costs a minimum of $120 every time (not including tip) so I’d be pretty upset if someone wanted me to spend that so I looked like I blended in more for their wedding.

Usually I'd say that's it's unreasonable to request them to change their hair color, but since she's the one that brought it up to you, then I think it's worth having a conversation over. Obviously she cares about how she looks in the dress with her new hair color, as well as the 'vision' for your wedding, otherwise she wouldn't have brought it up to you.

I'd just sit her down and ask how she feels about it. If she still agrees that she thinks it clashes with the dress color, then see if there's a way she can maybe darken it to a darker red so it's not so bright? Try to compromise, and if she doesn't think re-dying it will work, or it will bring too much damage to her hair, then let it be and leave her hair as is. Also, I suggest you offer to pay for it to get done if she does decide to get it done.

I agree that it would be unreasonable to ask her to change her hair color just for the wedding. But, if you’re close friends and she dyes it frequently, I don’t see the harm in bringing it up in wedding conversation like “did you plan on keeping your hair this color for the wedding?” Or some other wording. Just so you can gauge her plans, for all you know she may be thinking of dying it for the wedding anyway

You don’t get a say in anyone else’s body, whether that means their hairstyle or color, dictating they can or can’t wear makeup, covering/removing tattoos/piercings. The bride knew they were part of these women when she asked them to be bridesmaids. So it is offensive and disrespectful to say a word about changing anything.

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Wow. I'm a blonde, and if a bride asked me to dye my hair brunette (or any other color) for her wedding I'd have laughed in her face. I've heard of bridezillas insisting on a bridesmaid dying her hair, but I think this might be the first time I've heard of a bridesmaid agreeing. This is just unreasonable to me, I'm surprised you did this, and this is a natural hair color too.

I agree with Gianna. Asking if she already has plans to dye her hair is okay (so long as it is polite and in the context of other wedding planning conversations). Be prepared for her to say no when you ask. She will either touch up her roots with the existing color or choose to dye it another color completely once her roots have grown out long enough it is noticeable. One of the two of those things will likely happen before your wedding since October is a whole 4 months away.



She has already said something to you about them clashing so I see this as different than a bridezilla demanding her bridesmaid dye her hair.

It's unreasonable I have a friend who dyes her hair green blue purple pink however I love her and I could never in a million years ask that she dyes her hair to fit my wedding or her dress

View Quoted Comment I agree I would have laughed in her face to. And if she insisted I'd drop out the wedding. And may even consider my friendship with her.

View Quoted Comment I agree usually this makes you a bridezilla but if she brought it up to you. Maybe ask her about it again and see how she feels. Maybe she is just as worried about her hair clashing as you. Maybe she knows she is almost ready for a new color anyways because she has had it for a year now and is thinking about changing it. But if she wants to keep the red then you need to drop it and let her have her red hair.