L
Just Said Yes February 2021

How should i tell my parents?

Lizatree, on July 27, 2019 at 1:53 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8
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I'm a 20 FT college, PT working student. I pay for some bills, not entirely (thanks to help of parents). I have been dating this guy for a few months but within the time frame, we've developed deep feelings. He will be in the navy as of next summer meaning he will get stationed somewhere around the country(I'm a former military brat, I have an idea how things could get). We are beyond content with one another and have even mentioned marriage. We plan on moving in together whenever and wherever he leaves to as he'd be able to support us until I'm able to, too. My parents were raised in a more traditional way so there's stigma around having these plans (as what they consider too soon). It's understandable but this is my life and I have 0 doubts. We don't plan on getting married for a while but just the thought of telling them that I'm moving with him is nerve wracking. My mom has a damaged relationship with her mother do what'd hold her back from one with her daughter? His mom and family are supportive of our relationship + plans. My family likes him and spend time with him, they know we take care of one another. Side note: I'm not pregnant and not immature or childish, everyone just has different dynamics with their parents.

8 Comments

  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
    I am happy that you are happy and in love. Honestly the biggest concern will be school. If you go to your parents about this I think you need to have a plan on how you will finish school. Also come up with a budget. How much things will cost how he will pay for them. I think they will see you are mature if your prove to them you have thought it all out and worked it all out.
  • Stephanie
    Dedicated November 2019
    Stephanie ·
    Since this will not be happening until next summer, take tour time and see where this goes. The dynamic will be much different then since your family will get to know him better by then. When the time comes, you can sit down with them and tell them what your plans are.
  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
    I think the biggest concern will be your education, if you make a plan for that and present it to them it should quell any concerns. I'd say just try to to spend time with them and your soon fiance together so they attached to him. It's hard for a parent to be angry if they like the guy! Take your time with telling them. Do it somewhere like a coffee shop as a group so it's a nuetral place for all of you, and you can leave if needed
  • Colleen
    Dedicated May 2020
    Colleen ·
    Finish your schooling. He will understand that your degree is important if he loves you.

    As for talking to your parents, if you dont want to talk about sone thing with them, then you probably Are too young/immature to do it.
  • Vicky
    Expert January 2020
    Vicky ·

    Will you be finished with your degree by the time of this proposed move? Is he in the military already or is he planning on joining the Navy next summer?

  • Vicky
    Expert January 2020
    Vicky ·

    Also, what do you want to do with your life?

  • Cher Horowitz
    Rockstar December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·

    I think your best bet is to simply be honest with your parents! Hiding something like this might not end well

  • L
    Just Said Yes February 2021
    Lizatree ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Regardless of where I'm moving, I'll be finishing my degree. That is not anywhere in question as it has been established. I'm only moving, not quitting school.

    It's not that I don't want to speak to them about the situation, I am unsure how to approach it. I'm definitely sure we come from different backgrounds. Latino culture is my culture. If you know anything about how Latino parents are, it'd be clear that approaching topics such as so isn't quite easy. Another factor is that I was brought up by two parents who were both diagnosed with anxiety and depression including my father, a war veteran, diagnosed with PTSD. I learned how to take care of them from a young age as they both have been receiving professional help, I'm fully aware that they can take care of themselves but just as anyone else would, I worry about my parents.

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