How Non-traditional brides handle fussy traditional FIL's

Ignore them. Seriously. Your circus, your monkeys; do you really have family members who think the lack of a garter toss signifies lack of family values? If you do, then get them off the guest list.

We're not doing a bouquet or garter toss either. Honestly I think it's becoming less common anyway, and I haven't gotten any remarks about it. Not sure about the receiving line, but might skip that too. I'm not sure when bouquet tosses and receiving lines became the most important signal that you're really at a wedding and not just a party, lol. What about the woman in the white dress? I'd just ignore comments like that. I doubt most of your guests feel that way, and this is one area where "it's your wedding, do what you want" truly applies.

Ahhh yes Celia, somebody always has something to say. Unfortunately, these are some of FH's family. Very old fashioned, and opinionated. Just trying to find ways to humor myself over it. Thankfully, there are only a few rotten apples in the bunch. Would love to know how other brides-to-be handle it when their families learn they are doing without a lot of traditional wedding things.

It's funny, my father is a retired pastor and everyone assumed that I would have a super traditional wedding. But, because my dad is so intimately aware of how personal weddings are and should be, he and my mom have been SO supportive of my choices. I guess I am lucky because I have had his feedback on what works and doesn't in weddings, after all he's been doing them for over 30 years!

Plus I have never wanted a garter toss at my wedding, I would be mortified to have my FH up my wedding dress in front of our families. I know some people love it and to each their own, I'm not one for being the center of attention either. Also no bouquet toss, I'm an older bride and there will be less than 5 single women at the wedding, no thanks.

Obviously, you can't just tell family to "get off the guest list" so that's not very good advice at all.

Just be calm, be straightforward, and above all be polite. Let them know what you're doing, why you're doing it, and move on. If you don't give them ammo, they have nothing to throw back at you.

I was told to "Just go elope" by SIL because we "weren't even having a wedding" because I didn't want a sleepover with the bridesmaids, or some bullshit. Just don't give them ammo, smile and nod, and know in the back of your mind THEY'RE the nuts ones.

No bouquet or garter toss, no bridal party dances, no anniversary dance, no wedding band for me ( I like my engagement ring bare), our ring bearer is a chicken, probably more we're getting rid of. My FGrandmotherIL does not seem to like these things, but luckily my FMIL sticks up for me and tells me (in front of anyone criticizing our choices) to do whatever we want because it's our wedding and we can't please everyone.

When people criticize I listen to their opinion ( they usually mean well) and smile. Sometimes I tell them I'll think about it. If I"m feeling particularly sassy, I will tell them that at their next wedding they can do whatever they want, but at my wedding I'll be doing as I please.

Just smile but don't let them get to you. People will always criticize something, so if not this, they would find something else. I got a death look the other day from FMIL when I talked about wanting the BMs to wear cowboy boots. I just smile but bite my tongue. FH wants to wear a black suit and the whole shebang, so I don't think cowboy boots will 'fit' anymore. But if I do decide to go with them, then she can have her opinion and learn to live with it.

Sure you can!

I'm not doing those traditional things either. Fortunately my FMIL has really stayed out of most of our planning, but when I'm questioned on anything about why I'm not doing something (and really, she's nice about it and doesn't come off judgmental at all), I just give a weird face and just say "because I don't want to." Period. It always shuts the convo down.

Our wedding is in Mexico- there are some Catholic traditions there (namely a hanging a "lasso" around the couple and also handing coins). I didn't want to do them. My family wanted me to do them. I didn't really care to be honest so seeing as it meant that much to them I said fine! That's something I've learned in life and especially during wedding planning- I need to pick my battles and these traditions to me were not worth the battle. But there HAVE been some things worth the battle, like my cake, and in that case I've found its best just to say "this is what we are doing". And closing the topic. Telling people how the wedding will be rather than making it a two way conversation suddenly started making these conversations go a lot smoother than they had been!

I'm not doing any of the things you mentioned either. Also, no DJ - just a live acoustic musician. Oh also, no photographer - a friend with a good eye and a nice camera is going to take a few photos for us. Oh, and we are doing a "first look" if you wanna call it that, so we can get the photos done and get a few with my dog.

Obviously, the women in my life think all of this is lunacy.

Also, when I tell girls I'm planning a wedding and I don't have Pinterest, they look like their heads are going to explode.

Just say- that's not me. Thanks but no thanks and I'm happy for you to attend our WEDDING- which is about us getting married.

and let it go/ignore/disengage.

Thanks- and make good use of the words "noted" and "duly noted" and move on. Once you say that over and over again- they'll get the point.

I hate most wedding traditions and am not having them. No first dance, no bouquet/garter toss, no toasts from MOH/BM. We'll say a prayer before dinner, FH and I will thank everyone for celebrating with us, cut the cake and that's it.

We're not having a traditional reception. No cake, no bouquet toss, and no garter toss. Yep none of it. FH doesn't like cake and the only singles there will be over 70 or under 20. FH's mom is the only one who has actively said something about our choices, and I followed FH's lead and just ignored her, and continued to talk about our wedding plans.

I didn't have a flower girl or ring bearer. We didn't have grandparents walk down the aisle. We didn't do programs. We had no garter toss, no bouquet toss and no grand exit. We honestly just wanted to focus on what's important which was getting married. I planned my entire wedding and didn't really allow my family to help, which made some of them uneasy because they are control freaks and are used to planning every family event. So I didn't offer up any info and when family members tried to make suggestions, I just told them, we aren't doing that. During the process I felt like my family hated me, but on the day of everyone had fun and so did we and that's all that mattered.

We didn't do any of the traditional things. We got married, and then had a party. Nobody seemed to be upset or concerned for our lives that we didn't do a first dance, a bouquet toss, blah blah. We had a great time, and so did our guests.

We didn't do any of that, either!! No garter toss, no bouquet toss, and no receiving line...we just went around to all the tables and said hello to everyone! =)

Yikes. I would just smile and nod and don't cave in to anyone. They will enjoy everything the day of and not even miss some of those "traditional" things. And if they do miss those things, too bad! People are used to things a certain way and get all fussy for no reason. Who knows, they may end up liking it better because they won't be interrupted as much from all the fun. We might not do a garter/flower toss because most people on my list are already married.

We've had a bit of backlash about not having a church wedding. But honestly, you and I both have to work on growing a thicker skin. I am quite sensitive, though I hate to admit it. At the end of the day, what matters is you and your FH have committed your lives to each other, and had a celebration of your choice to commemorate that. The naysayers can all kick rocks.

Bouquet toss, garter toss thing, receiving line ... honestly haven't seen these done the past few years. Your guests will thank you even if your FIL's are appalled. They'll get over it. Just ignore and carry on.