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Christine
Beginner November 2018

How much money would you spend for bachelorette party and/or wedding nowadays?

Christine, on November 2, 2018 at 2:00 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 17

Let's say this is your good friend. What's your max budget that you would spend on bachelorette party and / or wedding ( as a cash gift ) ? What do you think is an "appropriate amount " . Personally, I think that $100 pp as a wedding gift is not enough, usually that's my budget for B-day parties, so I would say at least $200 I think that much money is fair enough and looks as a "valuable gift". Also, I've seen people spending up to $1000 on bachelorette parties, personally I think this is insane ( unless it's your sister/cousin ) but for the friend , even spending $400 is a lot of money for bachelorette.


17 Comments

Latest activity by Maren, on November 5, 2018 at 7:07 PM
  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
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    I think there are so many factors here that it’s hard to answer. Money as a gift for the wedding varies pretty significantly by region. I live in a higher cost of living area. H and I give a minimum of $200 at the weddings we attend together, more for people we’re closer to.

    For a bachelorette party, it depends on if travel is required. Flights to pretty much any city from where I live are going to cost at least $200-$300 and that’s before you’ve factored in hotel/food/drinks and any other planned activities. For a destination bachelorette, I could easily see spending $1k+. Most of my friends have kept theirs local, but there’s still usually an activity, dinner, drinks, and a hotel room so $400-$500 is pretty average. I can easily spend $100 just on dinner(with a couple drinks) for myself so it adds up quickly.
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  • Jennifer
    VIP October 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    I think that paying for the decor, food, cake is what I'd like my Matron of Honor to do. I think that the rest of the ladies are able to cover their own costs- within reason... But any that can't I will happily help w/lodging or travel.
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    I think it totally depends on how close you are to the couple, how fancy the wedding is, and how much you have to spend on travel/lodging. My friend recently got married a 4 hour drive away from us, my FH had to take a half day of work, and we had to stay in a hotel. So we already spent at least $200 just on gas and the hotel. The wedding was a very casual lunch in a restaurant. We gave them a $50 gift which definitely covered the cost of having us there (like I said, it was a very casual wedding) and we could not afford to drop more than $250 in one weekend! So like I said, many factors. If we hadn’t had to pay for a hotel we probably would’ve given $100. If it had been in a ballroom or country club rather than a restaurant we would’ve given $200.
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  • FutureStephD
    Super March 2019
    FutureStephD ·
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    For the wedding gift we typically gift $100 per person. Maybe a little more if the wedding is super expensive and we know it. I like to give crystal so people don't know what I spend, but my FH likes to give cash...

    That said, totally agree with this PP for bachelor/ette parties. I think it depends on age and/or income too. To some $50 is a lot, to others $500 isn't. It's just such a personal question and dependent on your finances.

    While in college I attended bachelorette parties that were $200 for one night and that was a lot for me. While in grad school my sister had one out of town and I couldn't attend b/c it was going to be around $700 and I couldn't afford it. Next summer, however, I'll be doing Napa for my cousins wedding and it will be a pretty penny but I'm so excited to go there and spend that money even though I'm not standing up!

    SO MANY of my friends do destination bachelor/ette parties, including FH's friends. There's a group of 15-20 of them that have all stood up in each others wedding and the bachelor party is a BIG DEAL. They've gone to New Orleans, Nashville, Boston, Las Vegas, and are probably going to Florida for his.

    I'm a little sad I won't have a bachelorette party, but eight of my friends are doing a girls weekend to Park City, Utah. While it's "cost efficient" it still is a decent amount of money IMO (AirBnB $150 each, flights $250, everyone has a ski pass already) but I'm so excited these girls decided to go somewhere for a fun weekend!

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  • FutureMrsKC
    Master January 2019
    FutureMrsKC ·
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    Honestly, my decision on what to give and spend totally depends on MY finances at the time and has nothing to do with the friend/family member. I've been to very casual weddings where I've been able to afford to gift more and I've been to fancier weddings where I had to travel and gifted less. If I gift less, I usually just buy a registry item instead of giving minimal cash. As a 24 year old homeowner with student loans and multiple weddings to attend a year, $200 gifts are out of my budget. That's 20% of my biweekly paycheck.

    I have been to weddings where I had to travel and all I could afford is a $50 gift, and other local weddings I've been able to give more. Same depends for what I am able to contribute to parties. Like right now, I am very close to my own wedding and payments are expensive. My dog has also been a little sick and after a $300 vet bill, that leaves little left in my budget to gift for my cousin who is getting married. I also have to drive 1000 miles to her wedding and took 4 days off of work because I am a bridesmaid. I've already invested about $800 into this trip alone, before a gift. I gifted her a $30 item from her registry. I love her and she is my best friend but that has nothing to do with how much I can afford to spend at the time.

    If a guest comes to my wedding and brings me a $10 gift, I wouldn't scoff and think that wasn't enough. I invited these people because I want to celebrate with them. A gift isn't required so honestly there is no right or wrong amount.

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  • Nemo
    Master August 2018
    Nemo ·
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    My wedding party took me out for a bachelorette brunch, which was fine and obviously very affordable for them, probably less than $35 pp since it wasn't a fancy place. Everyone covered their own costs and someone picked up my tab.

    Personally? I don't really want to drop a lot of money on pre-wedding parties for other people, A couple hundred dollars is as much as I'm willing to spend. $400 is pushing it for me especially considering how affordable and convenient my own was. $300 is the price point I would be more comfortable with but even then I think it is silly and would prefer to pay less.

    As far as gifts, I live in a low cost of living area (Kansas City) and we gift between $75-$100. We would gift more for our siblings though. We received very few gifts above $100 at our wedding, most were between $50-$100. Anything over $100 was gifted to us by family members. So for our area, we're generous gift givers even though we live in a very affluent suburb.

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  • P
    Devoted October 2018
    persimonefink ·
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    A very close friend got married so here is what I spent: 3 gifts at bridal shower $190 and then for the wedding $200 for my husband and I. If I had gone to her B-party which I couldn't afford cause I was getting married 3 weeks after her, I would have dropped $250-$350 on housing and about that much on the flights plus food/drinks. For my cousin who I was a bridesmaid for $280 on dress and $850 on all-inclusive resort/flight, I bought her 3 lipsticks $90 for her wedding day, dinner and drinks post dress shopping I can't remember how much I spent and another $250 for a local B-party dinner/drinks. I was still living at home then and so my mom is the one who left the monetary gift and bought bridal shower gift -- but I also helped set up for the shower day of. It really depends on how many activities you join in on and the status of finances at the time.

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  • V
    Super April 2019
    Valerie ·
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    I wouldn't gift less than $100/person for a wedding gift. And that is on the low end of what I will spend.

    For bachlorette parties, it usually is about $500. I live in a high COL area, so even just doing a single night out and hanging with a great dinner, club, and drinks could easily get to that price without batting an eye. It is significantly cheaper for most of my friends to fly to a destination bach in Savannah than it is to have one in my city - and that is counting the plane tickets! (People would drive to my city but we would need a hotel or Air BnB)

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    For an evening, including paying part of the bride's expenses, or buying a convert ticket, maximum $75 to $125 for someone extremely close. Less close, max $60. For a weekend, first of all I only would fo a weekend fairly close to home, and something like a rented condo or cottage, maybe a concert. So probably $200 to $300 max. No flying anywhere, no hotel type bills not more than 1 big expensive meal. And no long night drinking, just a 2 drink bar bill. Since May til next May, I have been or will be in 4 weddings, husband in 2 others. And so far 5 family weddings and 2 friends that are close, on our calendar. That is 9 showers gifts, giving 3 showers solo and 2 with others, and 11 wedding presents. Expensive bachelorette parties are a recent and unnecessary expense, compared to other things. I would not spend money on attending a party and not have money for a good gift. We do not earn a high amount, we are 37 with 5 kids.
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  • Tiara
    Expert October 2018
    Tiara ·
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    I agree with this whole heartedly.
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  • Courtney
    Super September 2019
    Courtney ·
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    We don’t gift based on how expensive or inexpensive the wedding is. I don’t think it makes sense to give someone more of gift because they chose to spend more money on their wedding. Gifts aren’t about that (to me). We usually give the equivalent of $150, more if it’s family or a best friend. This past summer was pretty expensive as we went to maybe 6 weddings, all but one required travel and hotels. I don’t even want to know how much we spent on the expenses to go to weddings😬 $150 seems like an appropriate gift to us.
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  • Larisa
    Devoted July 2019
    Larisa ·
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    Personally, my friends are my family. I’m willing to spend more on them than I am on a blood relative. As another said, it also depends on my financial situation at the time. My best friend got married last year, I spent like $500 on gifts alone. I love this couple. We see them every Monday. My cousin got married earlier this year. I sent $150 to her. It’s what I had at the time and we’re not that close so I thought it was a reasonable amount.
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  • AQuixoticBride
    VIP July 2018
    AQuixoticBride ·
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    Budget of course depends on your financial situation. You give what you can afford and what you're comfortable with. Every gift I get is "valuable" to me, because it's a gift. Nobody is obligated to give you anything. My friend group generally doesn't give each other cash gifts and physical gifts in the $50-$100 range are the norm, and none of us are particularly hurting for money. I'm personally not spending a bunch of money on some destination bachelorette party, though. If I am spending money on a trip I want it to be somewhere I want to go, when I want to go, for whatever reason I want to go. I don't think I have never spent much more than $100 on a bach party unless I was hosting it.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    " I think that paying for the decor, food, cake is what I'd like my Matron of Honor to do" - That is not your decision to make. If MOH is only happy with everyone splitting the decorations, food and cake, and others are willing to chip in. That is fine. But MOH has no more obligation to pay for these things for a bach. party than anyone else, unless she volunteers to pay all this stuff.
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  • Jennifer
    VIP October 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    We had agreed upon a set amount for her part of expense, and I think that given that the items I listed are the more important, as we can have an in-home party, beach party or wherever, these things are the ones that matter.

    With that said the girls have all said they will cover the majority of their costs if we do a dinner/spa/trip vs an in-home party.
    *I* fully expect to put out money to cover my girls. As some are college students or have young families and are already traveling 1/2 way across the country to be at the event. And to cover one I feel I should cover them all equally- as best I can.
    I am in NO way telling/demanding someone to pay for XYZ, I simply stated the items *I* find important.
    Nor am I saying I expect to have a 5 star catered meal at $100 a person or a crazy expensive cake. And ALOT of decor has been purchased by me, & MOH, already- or is being handmade by MOH & myself.

    As far as gifting my FH & I try to pick one of the nicer things on the list to purchase, something that they really want/can use and couldn't afford themselves. That averages to be $200 on the couple.
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    For my current MOH/best friend? I'd spend probably around $500 on her bachelorette party for my portion (but I'd spend more if I could). If I was the MOH, probably more to pay for decor/invites/etc. I'd gift her around $250. Not including whatever I paid for my dress, hair and makeup, etc. I really think this is so dependent on what someone can afford. Two of my bridesmaid would spend up to $1,000 on my bachelorette if they were asked to. Two of them can't really spend over $200 so I'm covering the rest of their portion.

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  • Maren
    Champion October 2021
    Maren ·
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    Hi Christine! Welcome to WeddingWire and congrats on your engagement!

    Agreeing with the others, this can be a little hard to say, given all of the factors and situations. We do have a helpful article here, about planning a bachelorette party on a budget that might interest you! Is this your bachelorette party or a close friends'?

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