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FutureMrsAAA
Dedicated May 2017

How much is too much for a wedding

FutureMrsAAA, on January 11, 2017 at 11:54 PM Posted in Planning 1 96

FH and I (mainly me) decided to have a big wedding because we have lots of family and friends. Our initial budget was max 40K. We found a gorgeous location that cost almost 28K which caused us to increase our budget. We cut the guest list significantly to 250. With catering, decor, stationary, video/photo n everything else we are into the 60K. We are paying for the wedding ourselves but my mom was generous enough to give us 15K which we greatly appreciate. Im beginning to feel very guilty about spending all that money just for one day. Mind u this budget excludes my dress,our rings, accessories FH tux, shoes n all the personal items. Im even at the point I told my MOH not to throw me a bachelorette/bridal shower cuz I don't want anymore money spent. Ive only paid about 20K towards the wedding and somedays I feel like calling vendors to cancel but I don't wanna loose the money. How much is too much to spend on a wedding? Did anyone feel guilty about the amount they spent?

Guilty Ma

96 Comments

Latest activity by Abby, on July 21, 2021 at 12:56 PM
  • FSTL
    VIP September 2018
    FSTL ·
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    My max budget is $20,000... I probably would never spend more than $30,000 on a wedding, but that's just me. At the end of the day, it's just as special whether you spent $1,000 or $100,000.

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  • SoonToBe Mrs. Green
    Super May 2017
    SoonToBe Mrs. Green ·
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    We're at $35,000 for 150 people. We wanted to stay around $30,000 but we included our honeymoon so we added another $5,000.

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  • Brittany
    VIP May 2017
    Brittany ·
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    Our budget is 10k and we are at about 8500 now with so.e wiggle room. I couldn't imagine spending more that that. I'm sure if we added more food, more booze and more decor, we could easily get up to 15-20k

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  • Cy
    Super October 2017
    Cy ·
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    Can you afford it? Honestly I truly don't believe there is too much for a wedding. If you can afford and willingly to spend (without having trouble living your daily and future life) then why not? For myself I've been dreaming my wedding for quite some time and luckily I was able to save up some for the past few years (along with gift from my mother). That being said do I feel guilty sometimes for spending x amount of money for wedding? Yes. But I try to remind myself I worked hard for it and I deserve it. I just constantly make sure that although I am spending this much, I am still financially okay. That being said I am not going all out on every aspect of the wedding, I try to save on parts that are unimportant to me and splurge on parts that I do care.

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  • Gina
    Devoted October 2017
    Gina ·
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    Everyone's budget will vary. Personally I couldn't imagine spending 60k but I'm sure our circumstances are completely different. At the end of the day do what makes you happy.

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  • NextMrsD
    Super November 2016
    NextMrsD ·
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    Wow, that is a lot (in my opinion) and I had a large budget. If you want to get closer to your original budget you still have time to cut your costs on some things. Your list of things still to purchase are going to be pricey as well. The more people you have, the more you have to manage.

    Good luck with your planning.

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  • FuturemrsC
    Dedicated June 2018
    FuturemrsC ·
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    I can understand feeling guilty about spending so much money- I guess take in to account how comfortable you and your FH and whomever is is sacrificing for you can live afterwards.

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  • SWBoho
    Devoted April 2017
    SWBoho ·
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    I could throw the wedding of my dreams with 15k, but it's a very personal decision. Clearly our lives are very different, so do what's right for you two.

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  • L
    Beginner April 2018
    Lexiloo89 ·
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    It sounds like your chasing a big wedding that maybe now you don't want? What are you feeling guilty about? If you can afford a big wedding than have one! You should not feel guilty about your wedding, it's supposed to be a fun and wonderful day! If you feel guilty about something maybe reassess it's value to you and dig deeper into why exactly that part makes you feel guilty and then tweak it. Or if you just feel guilty for spending what you feel is a lot on one day make a monthly donation to something in yours and your husband's name the following year. All in all, every wedding will be different and cost different amounts but all are equally special! I hope you don't loose the joy in planning your wedding getting caught up in prices. Best wishes to you and try to enjoy the process. For reference our budget is around $15,000 excluding our rings.

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  • MelissaErin
    Master December 2016
    MelissaErin ·
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    Spend what you can afford. There is a lot of big budget bride shaming on here which is why you don't have a lot of comments from people telling you they spent 70k, 100k etc. I'm sure those couples are on here although I'm not one of them, it just bugs me when people judge others budgets without knowing about their financial situation. Talk to your FH, make sure the wedding details are what you want and can reasonably afford. If not, scale back.

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  • Anvenette
    Super August 2018
    Anvenette ·
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    If you can afford to spend that extra with stressing about the funds I don't think there is anything wrong with it. It's your money and your day

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  • FutureMrsQ2017
    VIP October 2017
    FutureMrsQ2017 ·
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    If you can afford it and still be comfortable financially than go for it. You've already got it all planned out and vendors booked. Seems like it might be more stressful to change rather than to keep it the same. If there are any things you could possibly still do to decrease your spending than maybe make that change. Personally, for us, it didn't fit in our financial situation. We will probably be spending around $11,000 and that seems like a lot to me. We're making it work and will have a beautiful day, but it won't be extravagant.

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  • NewlyMrsLachney
    Master September 2017
    NewlyMrsLachney ·
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    If you can afford it and the money is there, you go for it, girl. I hate people that shame big budget brides with the whole, 'IT'S JUST ONE DAY OMG' and 'YOU COULD BUY A CAR WITH THAT'. Like, stahp. We were fortunate enough that my parents saved from when I was very little in order to pay for our day. The money is there, in an account, with a purpose. I will not feel guilty utilizing the money for what it's meant to be spent on.

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  • VegasWed!
    Super October 2017
    VegasWed! ·
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    I was hoping to keep it around $20k but having a quality videographer was important to me and some other things creeped up. Now we're pushing $30k for about 75 people. This does not include the rehearsal dinner which my future in-loves have graciously volunteered to cover and a little help from my parents. I am on the hook for the rest. Do what works for you and if you're able to swing your dream wedding without putting yourself in tons of debt - go for it. I like to think this will be our only chance Smiley smile

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  • Erin Wood
    Master July 2017
    Erin Wood ·
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    We are at $45,000 for 150 people not including rings, dress, booze ($12,000 estimate) and honeymoon. If you can afford it and it's what you want then go for it. If not then maybe see if cancelling is worth it. We considered cancelling at one point and would have lost $2,000 deposit from venue. We were going to keep vendors and just stay in the area. After calling around and crunching numbers we realized we wouldn't save all that much. It's just a pricey area. Only you can decide what's best for you.

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  • Samantha
    VIP June 2017
    Samantha ·
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    I hear ya. I had lunch with my dad the other day and we were talking about the wedding and how I still have so much to do and while I have time it just feels like so much then he goes. " I'll give you 10,000 if you guys just elope instead" I was like well had you offered me that before all the big purchase had been made I would have jumped on that. I know when the day comes I'll be so excited and happy we did the big wedding but man the idea of just not having all the stress and having the money to just travel and work on a house sounds so nice right now. Lol.

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  • Seale
    Master November 2017
    Seale ·
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    My budget is 10k but I'll probably only spend between 5-8k and it has all the aspects I would want out of a wedding. Personally, I wouldn't know what to spend 60k on when it comes to a wedding but everyone is different with different styles, tastes, and budgets to fit accordingly. If you're feeling guilty or wishing you weren't spending so much money, see if you can downsize areas of the evening to cut back on costs.

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  • MrsDrum
    Master June 2017
    MrsDrum ·
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    We will be at about $40k for 120-140 people. There's no such thing as "too much" if you can afford it and are comfortable with it.

    We were originally way under budget because I was penny pinching. Now we aren't thinking about cutting corners and thinking more about what we really want.

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  • Jessie
    Savvy June 2017
    Jessie ·
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    If that's what you both want and are comfortable with the amount and have the money, then I don't see a problem with it. I personally wouldn't spend that much money because that's not what I would want and FH and I are very lucky that my parents are paying for almost everything and we have family that can do our video for free (professional videographer) and a great friend who is doing our engagement photos and possibly wedding for really cheap. But what others say should not alter your decision, if you want to change something talk with your FH and agree and go from there

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  • Future Mrs. Keil
    Super March 2019
    Future Mrs. Keil ·
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    Have the want you want AND can afford. If that's $60,000 then go for it! There's no problem with that! I don't think it matters what anyone one else's budget or feelings about it. If you can afford it, you're getting your dream wedding and you're happy then that's what matters!

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