How much is appropriate to expect guests to spend on a destination wedding?

When my brother for married in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico it cost me $1200 for 6 days. The only thing is that their original resort was like... 2 or 3 stars. Yea... It got ripped apart by a hurricane so their sister resort (5 star) accommodated everyone for the same price. I think around $1200 would be good for roughly a week, but you'd have to be very understanding if a lot of people can't come. I know my brother and SIL also asked for no gifts from those who attended. Which I thought was reasonable since they just paid to go down there.

Well, the resort I'm looking at is about $1200 for 5 days, including airfare. The problem is that when I told my mom that price, she didn't believe me and wanted to see a link because she said there's no way it could be that cheap.... but FH's friends thought that the resort that would cost $800 was going to be tough to save up for.

I understand if people can't afford it.... but FH think that that's unfair to them.

This is a question you need to ask your guests. There's no way I'd be able to to drop $1200 (times 2 if FH came) right now on a vacation. Just not happening, no matter how much I love you.

But I'm a grad student and FH just graduated, and we're paying for a wedding in 6 months. That's very different than people who are more established or who like taking more extravagant vacations. Ask your VIP's (parents, immediate family, best friends). The reality is that, no matter how inexpensive you go, you will be pricing some people out of attending. It's not just the cost of the flight and the vacation, but taking vacation days (not everyone gets paid time off), hiring pet sitters, driving to the airport and parking... That's the downside to choosing to do a destination wedding.

I suppose I'm asking the internet because our VIP's have such different answers.

Mine are like "whoa, that's cheap!" and DH's are like "Are you out of your mind?"

So we're debating: do we disappoint ourselves and upset my people by going cheap, or do we disappoint his people by pricing them out of attendance? :-\

Weren't you the bride who said they've never had more than 2 months of expenses in your Savings Account at one time? I don't think you left enough time for guests to plan their budget (or vacation days) at this point. Chicago is nice to fly out of, what about a semi destination wedding in the US? Airfare's internationally and a nice hotel makes me think the $1200 estimate is wayyyy too low especially for couples/families.

To clarify, you just asked which is better- having a wedding that your family will think is "cheap" (in a tropical location where they're spending thousands to attend) or one that your entire FH family can't attend? You're right.. seems like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. My deepest sympathies for your tricky situation. Good luck!

If your family is well off, and your friends are working professionals who would normally take that kind of trip (we would never do an all-inclusive for a vacation, so paying that much is a bit outlandish), then $1200 isn't bad at all. It depends a lot on how much notice you give your guests, and what is going on in their lives, whether or not it is expensive to them. Keep in mind some people might not get vakay pay either, so they have to factor in a weeks' worth of lost wages.

We had friends who were thinking of a dw. FH and I were in the process of moving to a different city and only he had employment secured. Six months before the wedding, they told us it was going to be about $2000 each for 5 days. We said we couldn't come, and they eventually changed their minds. We still had to fly across the country, but cheaper than Mexico.

Just as a reference point, we're getting married in Riviera Maya, and for 7 days at an all inclusive hotel, with 5 stars, it's $1755 per person(from Canada, a little lower for our US family) but it's in February which is the most expensive time of year. 18 family members will be joining us, we took the risk in out-pricing people, but it paid off. Our resort is amazing. Don't cheap out on the resort, you will regret it.

We thought of it this way; the most important people in our lives will be there(except 1), the others were a happy surprise. The closer we get, the more excited our guests are, and more people wish they could have come.

I spent $1900 as MOH in an august wedding in UT. It was a lot but I was prepared for it.

$1200 sounds extremely reasonable and your wedding seems far enough out that people can plan for it appropriately. Ask your VIP's how much they're willing to spend if you're really worried about it. The people that mean the most to you should have the most say in price point.

My sister got married in St. Lucia and for my airfare and resort (Sandals) for 4 days/3 nights it was $1700. I've done a fair amount of traveling and thought this was outrageous. That being said, of course I went, but I wasn't happy about the pricing.

I went to a friends wedding in Las Vegas in June and spent well over $2k for the weekend, which I was not expecting, but it was a blast so whatevs. You know your crowd more than anyone.

Go cheap. Your more moneyed friends will feel like it's their choice to stay someplace nice or be with friends and family, whereas if you go someplace expensive, your less moneyed guests are going to feel like their being excluded.

E=mc2: Two months expenses is enough to send six people on this trip.

I looked in to destination weddings in the US. They were just as expensive as doing a wedding here in Chicago, which is the main reason we decided Mexico is best.

FH and I have been chatting, and we've decided on a resort that's $200 cheaper per person. It's reasonable to ask people to save up $1000 in ten months, and it's still nice enough that I won't have to listen to complaints about quality.

It's really unfortunate that the resort chain requires 80% of your guests to stay at whichever resort you hold the wedding at even though there are 5 resorts in the complex. :-\

We are getting married at Disney World, we live in NY. Everyone who is coming is making a vacation out of it and spending about $1500 a person, but that includes flight,food, tickets, and hotel for at least days.

My travel agent said definitely no more than $1500

You can't please everyone. Those that can make it will be there. Some won't come no matter how cheap in cost you make it.

We live in New Jersey and Hubby has been in two weddings for his best friends- one in Memphis, TN and one in Dallas, TX and we traveled to both. We didn't even question the cost because they are his closest friends. And in May we're going to Barbados for our close friends' wedding as guests. They got a great deal for their guests at a Divi property for $80 per night and we're staying four nights. Depending on what deal we get in airfare, we'll probably end up spending about $****. If they weren't close friends we probably would have declined though.

That's great you found a cheaper option. But this sentence: "It's reasonable to expect people to save up $1,000 in ten months" kinda worries me. Sure, a lot of people can save that in 10 months, or half that time. But that doesn't mean everyone can, and that doesn't mean that even those that can will want to spend that money and their vacation days on a vacation they didn't get to pick out and plan. Just know that some friends will not be able to make it, and please don't give them a hard time about it. FH's good friend got married in Arizona a few years back. FH couldn't afford the airfare or the hotel cost and his friend, to this day, is mad at him for it. I think that's a pretty unfortunate way to lose friends.

Isn't the point of a destination wedding that a lot of people won't come? Talk to your mom & dad, siblings, whoever you couldn't get married without them there. See if its within their budget or ability to save.

When we finally bit the bullet and decided on the DW, it was because everything we found close to us was ridiculously priced and half assed - we're spending the same amount on a DW for less people, but in the end we knew we'd be happier blowing the cash on a trip too since we're both happier on the road or near a beach.

We also knew immediately that a DW meant people would not be able to go - mostly because of price. And that was after choosing to stay in a US territory. You can't make everyone happy. Just do what you can, grit your teeth when people complain, and smile and say you're sorry they can't make it.

Just be kind to anyone in your bridal party about dresses/tuxes/suits and all that. You don't have to be a doormat, but having some fiscal compassion for others will go pretty far.

My DW is in Key West and it's costing about $1600 for 4 days so I think anything less than that for a week is a great deal not to mention your guests won't even have to pay for food. Be prepared to have people tell you they are declining even though you know they can afford it. We were surprised that only about 50 of the 120 we invited are coming . Many seemed excited at first and then changed their minds ...one of FH's best friends complained it was too expensive but just took a family vacation for 4 to Disney . We also gave our guests a year in advance notice ..