How much do you gift during a social distance wedding?

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If this couple is having fast food for their wedding reception, invited OP and her husband to their original date a month before the wedding (possibly B list?), and bailed out of OP's wedding at the last minute, I don't think they are particularly concerned about etiquette. If they are, it's the pot calling the kettle black.

OP, it doesn't sound like you or your husband are super close to these people. I would feel fine giving $50 or possibly $75.

This might sound petty, but these are the factors that go into wedding gifts from me
1) how close we are (close family and friends get gifted more)
2) the location and if I have to travel/get a hotel (if I’m traveling, you get less) 3) the formality of the venue. Formal/black tie events get more, whereas more casual/backyard type weddings get less.
Especially considering they cancelled on you last minute for your wedding, and considering the wedding seems casual, $50 seems more than generous

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Wow, that sounds really unpleasant if everyone is talking about whose gift was too little and who gifted enough! I am so glad I don't like somewhere like that. I don't like the extreme focus on gifts (how to get more gifts, how to ask for gifts, why didn't I get enough gifts, how to make sure I get money instead of toasters, etc.) that I see on these forums (the same as any wedding forum, no doubt) and I am relieved I don't ever encounter that in real life.

For the OP, I always base my gifting on my relationship with the couple and my personal finances. The type of wedding (and what I guess the hosts were spending) wouldn't really factor into it. But I don't accept invitations for people I don't even like, so that makes it easier.

View Quoted Comment I’m really not up for debate here. My personal opinion, is that $50 is too little. If they are so bothered about the engaged couples‘ prior behavior, they should decline the invitation.

View Quoted Comment To each their own. Everyone’s background is different. I never said “everyone talks about it,” but I did say I have heard it talked about firsthand. The OP asked for opinions and I gave her mine. I am not sure why people are so salty about my view on this.

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No one is salty, we just don't agree...everyone else is entitled to their opinion just as you are.

My FH and I have a system in place; based on the couples status to each of us, close friends and family get $100, acquaintance get $50. That means if we both are close with the couple we give $200, if only one of us is close and the other isn't we give $150, and if neither of us are really that close/confused how we made the wedding list we give $100. For my friend that ended up having the ceremony but canceled the reception, we dropped the price for each bracket by $50 dollars.

View Quoted Comment Absolutely you are entitled to an opinion. Yet I keep getting quoted on this thread for having a differing opinion.

View Quoted Comment This, exactly. Due to Covid, some people have had to cancel our schedule things rather suddenly, and cut guest lists, or have tiny private weddings now and a public reception later. These are not things you hold against a person, as they have been pushed by circumstances. And a wedding that ends in an inexpensive Italian local wedding is equal to a 4 star caterer at a black tie affair, in emotional feelings, as each is having the wedding they can afford, and the goal of friends should be to celebrate your being married, not you blowing your budget on the finest of everything you or your parents can buy. But gifts depend on how close you feel to the couple, and what you can afford. If someone is a nice but inconsistent and sometimes thoughtless friend before Covid nothing has changed. Give a lesser gift than you would to the best friend who is always there for you, unfailingly trustworthy, and such. But the lesser gift and the max gift should each be within the low to high range you would receive and be thankful for. If so low as to be insulting, you do not like the person enough to attend at all.

View Quoted Comment We looked at doing fast food and it was $16.25 per plate. That doesn’t cover drinks (alcohol or not) or dessert. $50 is probably pretty close to what it costs to have the two people there. But, even as a bride-to-be, I feel that the expenses for guests should already be counted as lost to that experience, so anything given by a guest is a blessing to the couple, whether that’s the time and finances to get there or a big gift or cash.