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Stephanie
Dedicated May 2022

How many people do this?

Stephanie, on May 8, 2018 at 6:32 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 30
"This" being have a small wedding ceremony just close close family/friends and then do a reception thats much larger and with more people?

This was just an idea the popped into my mind. Neither me nor my FH have ever been into the idea of a large wedding but we have alot of friends and family that we would like to celebrate our marriage together.
So does the idea of a small weddibg ceremony with a larger reception seem like a good idea or would that be rude or insulting to the people who dont get invited to the actual ceremony?

30 Comments

Latest activity by Priscilla, on May 9, 2018 at 4:49 PM
  • DC Wife 10.27.18
    Master October 2018
    DC Wife 10.27.18 ·
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    I’ve heard of people doing this. I think it’s pretty popular now. I’d say just make sure your invitations are clear. Maybe have a videographer at tour wedding so you can shop everyone the highlight video.
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  • Ashley B.
    Devoted August 2019
    Ashley B. ·
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    Depends on what exactly you’re talking about. If you mean having an intimate ceremony with immediate family: parents, siblings and grandparents only and then a big reception for everyone that’s fine. You would just have to let everyone know that it will be a private intimate ceremony. But if you’re talking about having a tiered reception(only inviting certain family and friends but then inviting everybody to the reception) that can be seen as rude. You’ll have some people questioning “well, why wasn’t I special enough to attend the ceremony?”
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  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
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    The successful way to do this is to keep it truly intimate- immediate family only. If you start including friends, you enter the territory of some friends feeling slighted that they didn't make the cut. A truly intimate ceremony has only 20-25 guests.

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  • T
    Just Said Yes August 2018
    Taj ·
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    I've been to a reception where they did that very thing and it was nice. It's not insulting at all. I think that more and more people are doing what's meaninful for them and for the most part people are understanding. I was happy to get an invite to the reception. Everyone there had a great time. Do what's best for you and your partner.
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  • Stephanie
    Dedicated May 2022
    Stephanie ·
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    I dont know what a tiered ceremony is, i was talking about wedding ceremony separate from reception.

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  • Mrs_Jenkins
    Devoted June 2018
    Mrs_Jenkins ·
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    I think it's common. A friend is doing a private ceremony the day before the reception.

    I think it's all up to you!

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  • Stephanie
    Dedicated May 2022
    Stephanie ·
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    That would probably be right about where our guest count would be, maybe less, but yea i meant mainly our immediate family. I just think that would be a better idea for the 2 of us
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  • Ashley B.
    Devoted August 2019
    Ashley B. ·
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    I said tiered reception...not ceremony. And I as well was talking about ceremony and reception separately. I explained it in my post but I can explain it again. It’s when you invite only certain family and friends to the ceremony but then invite everyone to the reception. For a truly intimate wedding you should only invite parents, siblings and grandparents. Once you start adding cousins, aunts, uncles and friends it takes away the intimacy. Then also when other people find out that they weren’t invited to the ceremony but Uncle Joe and 2nd cousin Sally was then they may feel some type of way.
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  • Married and Loving It!
    Super February 2018
    Married and Loving It! ·
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    Nope none of that! I wanted to stand up there as little time as possible! Don’t regret skipping it one bit.
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  • S
    Devoted June 2018
    Sarah ·
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    That is what we are doing. Small wedding in Vegas and bigger reception when we get back. I am very happy we did it that way.
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  • MrsSnez
    Super October 2018
    MrsSnez ·
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    This is exactly what we're doing: immediate family only destination wedding in Colorado and then a big reception at home in Minnesota about 6 weeks later. We got an elopement package in CO so I really didn't have to do much as far as planning and it honestly took a lot of pressure off as far as the reception goes. We're able to keep it more casual (taco bar) since we'll have our "fancy" dinner in CO. If the reception doesn't go exactly as planned, oh well we're already married. Plus I get to wear my dress twice!
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  • plangalCG
    VIP May 2018
    plangalCG ·
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    I am sort of. We are having a destination ceremony and wedding with immediate family and close friends (19 adults including us). My parents are throwing a party a month later in my hometown for my extended family, their friends, etc. I am so happy we are doing this. I had no desire to parade in front of everyone I’ve ever known!
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  • A_Mart
    Super April 2025
    A_Mart ·
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    We are doing this, could not be happier with our decision! This just fits our personalities and family so well and we have a huge amount of family and friends we’ll still get to celebrate with but we’re also getting the intimate DW of our dreams! We’re also definitely getting a photographer and videographer to document the day!
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  • A_Mart
    Super April 2025
    A_Mart ·
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    Yes to getting to wear the dress twice!!!
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  • Adrianna
    Expert June 2018
    Adrianna ·
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    My FH and I are having a small private wedding ceremony, with a big reception with everyone a few hours later!! It works for us!!
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    We did this and it was awesome! Smiley love

    DW in Napa with 15 guests (mostly family). About 3 months later, a local reception with 50 guests.

    We really wanted to get married in Napa with everyone but it was too pricey for us and a DW is very expensive for guests. Plus, breaking the celebrations up allowed us to invite more friends who would not have gone to a DW. Plus...TWO themes, dresses & parties. The reception was still a lot of DIY work but with vows/family photos out of the way, it was a big fun party with 50 friends.

    We did a mini-moon at DW and a honeymoon a year later. Nice way to spread out the celebrations.

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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    YAY! Perfect reasons to do this.

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  • Ella Marie
    Devoted May 2019
    Ella Marie ·
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    We are having a smaller destination wedding with 40 guests tops! And a reception after down there! We were growing around the idea of having another bigger reception at home after for the rest of our friends and family who couldn’t make it. But, it just wasn’t in the budget! So instead we’re having an “I do bbq” engagement party this summer (the wedding is in May of 2019) and are inviting everyone to that!
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  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
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    If you are doing a DW that's smaller and coming home for the reception that makes sense. If it's the same day and area though it doesn't make sense. The ceremony doesn't cost more for more people to come watch for the most part. If you have a large reception why not invite those people to watch?

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  • firstoneat56
    Master August 2017
    firstoneat56 ·
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    I think it's fine. The only time it's insulting is if you invite more people to the ceremony and less to the reception.

    I do like to see the actual ceremony but I wouldn't feel slighted or insulted if the couple was having a ceremony with immediate family only.

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