How many Bridesmaids is TOO MANY

I'm giving the side eye at 9.

I don't think the point is that she has that many friends. PP's are trying to steer her from a financial/emotional overload.

I mean, I guess.

If you have shitty friends, then yeah it can be a pain.

I have seen many 10-15-20 person bridal parties do beautifully because no on is a dick. So.

I don't think it's too many but maybe it's regional.

I've seen brides with 16 bridesmaids so..

I didn't even want 4, but FH has twin sisters so my 3 BMs became 4 just because of that. Even with 4 I am seeing how much money it is, and how tough it is to coordinate. Do whatever you want, but if you have 9 or 10 bridesmaids, don't come back here complaining that someone is being a pain, or someone is pulling out later on. We told you having this many BMs was not going to be a picnic.

I think the fact that you are freaking out and losing sleep already says it is too much. Other than that, have as many as you want.

But do not include that other girl.

This is getting confusing with the other thread lol.

How many sisters do you have? Just choose them. We're not having a bridal party but if we did I would only choose 1-2 girls. More than that just calls for drama.

I think it must be regional too. I have never seen more than 5 BM's.

9 is a lot but I have heard of it. I limited myself to 6 and that was still more than I wanted but it was because three of them I couldn't not include or pick some but not all. Otherwise I would have 8 or 9. I still feel like 6 is too many but i can deal with it

Plus, if you have already officially asked them, you can't just tell them they are no longer a Bm

Thanks everyone for the enthusiastic response to my post. I apologize for the abundance of threads, I don't exactly know what I am doing on this thing quite yet.

In my defense, for the 9 women I have chosen (but not told or asked yet) for my BM they have all played a crucial part in my life (which has not been easy) and been consistent, loyal, and unconditional through everything. I am from San Diego, moved to San Jose for college, and now live in San Luis Obispo where I got my masters. Throughout the changes and trials and tribulations these 9 women have been there.

As a person who had this problem here's what I did-

I had 10 girls I didn't know what to do with. And I thought about it extensively and worried a lot. Don't ask until 9 months out. Don't start really thinking about it until 10/11 months out. You have better things to worry about. I made one our officiant. I don't suggest doing this unless you're sure of their capabilities. Mine is an actress so the public speaking will be on point. And she straddles the religious line that my fiancé and I are on either side of. The two that I'm least close to, I made attendants. They are both incredibly type A and have taken it upon themselves to make sure they are my coordinators right (and other right) hand so I don't have to deal with day of stress. They are obviously wonderful ladies. Then 7 bridesmaids.

Now, I am buying all 10 women gifts because it's the nice thing to do. And the right thing.

But honestly, take this off your plate for now. Things may change in those relationships and not necessarily in a bad way. Someone may get pregnant and have their due date your week, someone may move even further away and you may lose touch, someone could get really sick. You don't know and you don't need this stress yet.

I've seen weddings with 0 and I've seen them with 15 and honestly each bride looked just as happy as the other. I have 7, I never expected to have that many but FH wanted a bigger bridal party and I'm very happy that I asked the girls that I did.

I don't think it's necessarily having shitty friends that makes having 9 bridesmaids difficult. It's coordinating everything with 9 people instead of say, 3 or 4, having 9 girls who want to plan one bachelorette party and/or shower, and having over 10 people needing hair/makeup/food/drink on the day of the wedding. Plus the costs are insane.

I am currently coordinating a bachelorette party with 21 girls. There are seven of us "planning" it.

It is going smoother than silk, everyone is pitching in, everyone WANTS to do it.... so yeah, it's possible, if you have good friends who want to do things for you.

The problem only ever arises when someone's being a dick.

I commented on your other post as well. I had 9 bridesmaids. I had 0 issues the day of the wedding with hair/makeup/pictures/etc. If you have an agenda, a hair/makeup schedule, and you stay calm you can hopefully avoid issues. You know your bridesmaids-you know who is late, slower at getting ready, type A, etc. Give yourself plenty of time to get ready. Send an agenda in advance, giving leeway to make changes.

Do what will make you happy. I could not have imagined not having each one of them up there. Before I got engaged, I never thought people cared about the number of bridesmaids in a wedding. I had never paid attention to what was too few, or too many. After I picked my bridal party, I was shocked at how many people even cared how many I had. I still don't understand why anybody has an opinion on it. And, I certainly hope none of my guests gave me the "side eye" just because they wouldn't have 9 people in their wedding party.

ETA: spelling

Well it depends on your budget if you can afford it then have at it but I would probably try to get your bridesmaids count down to 5 people would get bored having to wait through all of them just to see the bride haha

I have 9. There's no limit on how many BMs you can or can not have.

Pros: I love them all to death and am so so glad they'll be by my side that day.

It'll be fun to all hang out/get ready together.

Cons: lots of money in gifts for 9 people. Sometimes hard to coordinate them since they live all along the east coast.

The most annoying part about having 9 is people's reaction when you tell them you have 9 bms. My mom has also given me a hard time about it. But ultimately it's your day.

Plus you already asked. So you don't really have a choice now.

@m - that's quite a feat. I'm in a four person bridal party currently (wedding is in September) and I feel like I'm stepping on toes every time I suggest something.

I have five and I feel like that's too many, lol