How lavish weddings are destroying marriages

It is very very easy to lose the relationship and communication that has been built up when everything is about the wedding as soon as you are engaged. The little things can get pushed to the side because there is a goal in sight.

I was guilty of this. DH and I had a huge fight a couple months before. It was over something so simple because we hadn't talked about us. After that we had a rule that we went out one night a week for "date night" and the wedding could not be brought up once. It was so nice to have that.

So I can see brides who are hosting a wedding of any size to forget there is a reason they are getting married, and it has nothing to do with a pretty dress, flowers or entrees.

Having a lavish wedding for the wrong reasons? Absolutely. Having a lavish wedding that you can afford, that you both want, to celebrate your marriage with the people you love? A different scenario.

There are so many factors that affect this. That's why I hate these articles and statistics. True research is done with only one variable being manipulated. In this kind of study, there's no way to control that.

This is a good article. I think it should be a prerequisite before wedding planning. My fiance and I just completed our Pre-Cana with the church and it was wonderful to fall in love again while doing the activities. Sometimes wedding planning can really take a toll on you and the relationship

Your post title is misleading. The fancy weddings didn't destroy the marriages, the marriages were over before they started, because one or both people knew it wasn't right. The pressure to go through with a wedding to save face, even if you know it's not right, can be felt with a $5k wedding, and a $50k wedding. Sure, the money may amplify the pressure, but it didn't cause the underlying issue.

And your quote? That attitude (that what matters is the picture-perfect day) is certainly not unique to higher-budget weddings. How many times do we see people with a $5k budget determined to have their pretty princess day for 200 people with gorgeous centerpieces, an expensive dress, a videographer, etc., even when it's clear their budget doesn't accommodate those things? Clearly, the desire to have the perfect day is present at all budget levels.

@Natalie, it is so easy to lose sight of that. I feel like my fiscal sense has completely flew out the window since wedding planning and I have to constantly reign it in. Fortunately, FH and I are pretty much on the same page.

Flagged for big budget shaming.

It's not an expensive wedding that leads to divorce. It's the fact that those idiots didn't have good financial skills in place and likely blew money they didn't have, or later needed for an emergency. Most of those couples also went into debt for the wedding. Debt is a common factor in divorces because couples don't prepare how to manage it.

Get your fucking facts straight.

I believe it has more to do with the couples focus. If they spend all the time concentrating on the wedding and treat the actual marriage as an afterthought then they may have problems ahead.

Your wedding can be as lavish or simple as you want but keep the marriage and your life you build with each other as the priority.

Um I'm not necessarily agreeing with the article Lily bean and my title is the title of the article. Jeez can't we just have a discussion about it. I'm not budget shaming anyone, my wedding was a pretty big budget.

Natalie, you made an ignorant comment about big weddings leading to divorce on another thread yesterday. So I give no fucks for thinking your intentions were less than innocent.

No I didn't.

@LillyBean. Geez. Calm down. It's just an article.

I think another thing to consider is what the budget is relative to the couple's net worth. Are they going into debt/doing financially difficult things to get this fairytale wedding? Married couples tend to fight over money troubles, so if the wedding played into those troubles, I can see it causing some issues.

On the other hand, tons of people have big budget weddings and can easily afford it. I'll admit to having a big budget wedding. Ain't no shame in my game.

This is straight up big budget shaming. This article goes hand in hand with the 'more expensive the ring the quicker the divorce' article the fact is some people have more money than others to spend on shit. Doesn't make their marriage less valid because they chose to ball the fuck out.

There are some couples that throw a wedding that they honestly can't afford. Yes I ageee that can cause strain in any relationship. However not every couple that is having a lavish wedding falls into this category. And lavish is a relative term. Someone with a $2k budget will see a $10k wedding as lavish. I am by no means in the lavish category. But it annoys me when these articles come out.

@Christy why do you feel guilty for having a cleaning lady or taking an uber? All of those things free up valuable time so you can A. enjoy your life or B. Make money. My fiance has taught me that one hour of my time is more valuable than doing a menial task such as cleaning. If I can be paid $75/hour to do my job, I should be spending my time working and pay someone else $30/hour to clean my house. Similar situation with Uber -- if I can pay someone to drive me somewhere and not risk a DUI or injury to someone else or be able to work for an hour while someone else drives me somewhere, it's worth it. I used to think "yeah, but I have to pay someone to do something and if I do it myself I'll save the money." yeah, but I'm also missing out on a higher amount of money I could earn.

Lavish weddings don't destroy marriages. It's the people in the marriages that are doing it. The price tag has nothing to do with it. I read that article. Consider the source...British Daily Mail. This paper is barely a step above The National Enquirer.

LilyBean WTF?? As a big-budget bride, may I ask how someone's opinion and link to an article is a flaggable offense?

I'm just waiting for her to come back with the apparent ignorant comment I made about 'big weddings leading to divorce on another thread yesterday.' A comment I would've never made because it's not a view I even hold.