How involved is your Mother in Law?

My MIL is like my second mom, she's the BEST and has been the one taking care of everything. I feel sad when I see the horrible stories about MIL and I cant help it but feel blesses that I got myself a second mom

She planned our rehearsal dinner and that's pretty much it

I wouldn't say my MIL was involved, but I also wouldn't say she was NOT involved. She lives a few states away from us, and the two of us don't talk often - but she was absolutely willing to give her input, give us ideas, help us with emails/calls/questions anytime we needed it. In all honesty, my own mom was only moderately involved in the planning - I did most of it, with mom finalizing details, making phone calls and attending any appointments/deliveries I wasn't able to make (she's retired and volunteered to be the "runner" lol)

I've been keeping my FMIL up to date with where we are in wedding plans when she asks. Overall she's been pretty excited and has let us take over. (I think her being my FH's stepmom may make her feel like she'll cross a line). She's made a few playlists requests but that's about it so far.

I've asked her to join me when I go dress shopping this weekend and she was thrilled!

Both of mine are semi involved they like to be included in my ideas and if i have questions and their best advice so far is Ignore all nay sayers and make sure this day is about the 2 of you. i keep them up to date on everything including with my mom!

She isn’t, weddings aren’t her thing which is fine

This varies so much. I don't think there is a one size fits all answer. I love my FMIL and we have a great relationship. She offers to help often, but not too often, and comes to things when I invite her. No complaints.

View Quoted Comment People on here said not to invite her to dress shop? I find that kind of strange honestly that so many people would feel it was awkward. I used an online wedding dress vendor and tried on sample wedding dresses at home, and invited my mom, stepmom, FMIL, and sister/ MOH and it was perfect. Everyone's relationship is different though.

My FMIL only has sons and my FH is the first to get married. She is involved as much as we want her to be and it has worked nicely. She is doing the entire rehearsal dinner, she came with my mom, sister, and I when I got my dress, and she and my mom and hosting a joint bridal shower.

I do think it's a different situation for everyone though. Since she is a mom to all boys I have wanted to involve her where I can and I am fortunate enough that she respects the times I choose not to involve her.

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Yes and I felt the same as their opinions because her and I are not close. And to me it's a special moment I want to share with my mom and sister. I also felt I didn't need any additional input. FMIL wouldn't have any hidden insight as to what I like and which dress is "the one" so I didn't really need another opinion of "oh that looks great on you". Well yeah cuz I am a pretty standard build so it's not like a dress could look atrocious on me, especially based on what I have been picking to try on. I have been shopping 4 times already so I have my wants down pact. To have invited her half way through the process doesn't much help imo.

I'm trying to look for ways my FMIL can be involved. She's lived kind of far away for most of the time I was dating my fiancé, but then she moved really close to us and my parents shortly before my fiancé and I put a ring on it. I'm hoping that we can get closer during planning, and I think we're off to a good start. She's made casual offers to help and being that my fiancé isn't a details person, she'll certainly be helpful getting peoples address, emails, phone numbers, etc. She's made comments about wishing she had daughters to wedding plan with. She offered to let me wear her wedding dress, which was a sweet offer, but I knew I didn't want that. I'll probably try it on for her, but I don't exactly want to bring her dress shopping with me. The venue we've chosen as a lot included, and we booked that within two months of being engaged, so the only thing I can think to have her involved in is floral and decoration planning. I was slightly taken aback by how many ideas/opinions she had about decorations which we took her to the venue, so we'll see how future planning goes. She and my mom haven't interacted much, but I think my mom will be good at finding middle ground and compromising if my FMIL and I have very different opinions.