Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

M
Beginner April 2019

How involved is your Mother in Law?

on April 8, 2019 at 3:59 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 31

How involved is your mother in law during the wedding planning process?


and how much SHOULD the mother in law involve in the wedding planning beside the rehearsal dinner?

31 Comments

Latest activity by Heather, on June 11, 2019 at 12:02 PM
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    She's not. No one is really. Unless I specifically ask a question or look for an opinion, there isn't much involvement.

    • Reply
  • Victoria
    Super May 2019
    Victoria ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I try to involve her in things. She went dress shopping with me for my first appointment, and we usually talk about the things she’s helping pay for. But not much other than that!
    • Reply
  • OnCloudRawls
    VIP June 2019
    OnCloudRawls ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Not all. She hasn't been involved.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. C
    Super May 2019
    Mrs. C ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Only thing she has been involved in planning has been the rehearsal dinner! She wanted to be more involved but I nipped that in the bud for the sake of my sanity. Shes a very controlling and negative person.

    • Reply
  • M
    Beginner April 2019
    ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    I dont want to hurt my fiance's feeling at the meantime his mom is trying so hard to help out in every part of the wedding planning.

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Expert October 2019
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Not at all. She lives several states away, and she and FH aren't that close. The thing that bothers both of us just slightly is that she doesn't even seem interested in hearing about the plans, except to occasionally complain about a decision. Even though the fact that she'd be terribly hurt and never let us hear the end of it if we eloped is a big part of why we're even having a wedding...

    • Reply
  • Mrs. H
    Master September 2019
    Mrs. H ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    She isn't even remotely involved, as FH and her aren't close. In fact, we've been engaged for over a year now; we have yet to receive even a "congratulations", and the first thing she's even mentioned regarding our wedding was how surprised she was to find out we had everything done whenever FH brought up wedding attire with her. It's just not her thing, and that's ok

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    I'm not hurting her feelings, she just hasn't asked to be involved with anything. If she did, I probably would include her more.

    • Reply
  • Mandy
    VIP May 2019
    Mandy ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    She's not. She told me she's like to do the rehearsal dinner - but looks like I'll be planning that one as well. I think the planning should be up to you and your FH unless you need extra help/opinions.

    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Not at all. It really depends on how much involvement she wants to have and what you’re okay with.
    • Reply
  • KandiKrix
    Dedicated August 2020
    KandiKrix ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    My future mother-in-law is super involved with the planning. I enjoy the advice, tips and suggestions that she gives us weekly and it's all out of love. I really do appreciate the help. Sometimes it can be a bit too much but my Fiance just keeps reassuring me that she's just trying to help and fill our heads with ideas, and ultimately it all comes down to our decisions.

    If you're having issues with how to word it to her that you don't want/need certain suggestions, just be gentle about it. Most likely she is just giving you suggestions out of love. I would be courteous, listen to her, tell her your thoughts on things and be firm about it. Tell her when you don't like certain ideas or what you dislike and do like. I have learned to say no on certain things and to speak up about things that I truly want and it was hard but so necessary. Just remember that you do not have to agree to anything at all and can take some of what she's saying with a grain of salt.

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Somewhat involved. My FMIL isn't super into weddings and doesn't have the best relationship with her son. She went on two venue tours and one catering tasting with us. We are buying her dress and she is going to my bridal shower. His parents are divorced, his father is paying 100% for the RD. I'm 100% in charge of planning it though.

    • Reply
  • Ashley
    Dedicated August 2021
    Ashley ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I really think it depends on the situation, but for the most part, unless the groom’s side is paying for a bunch, I think she should leave most things to the bride.

    My mother passed away in 2014 and my FMIL only has sons so we’ve both taken advantage of this situation so far. She is incredibly excited and thankfully, she knows it’s mine and my FH’s wedding, so she hasn’t made any requests or demands of any sort. She does overdo it on advice occassionally, but I know it’s out of love. She mostly just enjoys being in the loop, so we chat occassionally and she is invited when I go dress shopping. Also, she thrifts a lot (which we both love) so she is always on watch for vintage decor for me at shops and estate sales!
    • Reply
  • Becca
    Expert July 2019
    Becca ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    My FMIL came with me to pick out my dress, planned the rehearsal dinner and she actually helped my FH pick out the suits. She was a stylist in the mens dept for Nordstrom so I thought it was a great thing for the two of them to do together. They are VERY close and I absolutely adore her so I want her to be involved. She only has sons and I am kind of the first woman to be around for a long time. We do a lot together outside of wedding planning so it has been awesome. Her best friend is also planning a bridal shower for me.

    • Reply
  • Paula
    Super September 2019
    Paula ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    My FMIL is just the sweetest woman. She had 3 boys and has 2 granddaughters (my future stepdaughters), 1 eloped and the other is not getting married anytime soon. She is going dress shopping with me next weekend, has given us $3000 towards the wedding, giving me $300 towards my dress and is paying for a family dinner (not really rehearsal) before the wedding.

    • Reply
  • C
    Master January 2019
    Cassidy ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    None. They paid for the rehersal dinner but we planned it.
    She bought her dress like 2 days before the wedding.
    It’s not that she wasn’t happy for us to get married. She just wasn’t involved. Never even asked much about it, which surprised me some.
    • Reply
  • A
    Master June 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Unfortunately, none at all. My fiancee doesn't have a relationship with her.

    She remarried after divorcing his father. Her new Husband, didn't like any of her children(6) so she cut ties with all of them.

    It's a sad situation.
    I would say be grateful if you have one that cares enough to help you out I'm sure she's doing it out of love and not trying to be pushy. If you feel otherwise, just tell her you have the planning under control for now. You will ask for help if you need it.

    Good luck!
    • Reply
  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I consider myself incredibly lucky in that I have a very good relationship with my future in-laws. FMIL and my mom have both helped me with plenty of decisions along the way.
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    A little involved. FILs live very close, one or both of them have been on all the venue tours with us.
    Everything else has been us, so far, but I'm going to ask her if she wants to join me for fittings and such. (She has offered to house the dress so FH doesn't see it.)
    We get along well, so I hope to bond with her more over this.

    • Reply
  • J
    Master October 2019
    Jolie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Mine isn't involved so far. FH wanted me to take her dress shopping with me but I asked the forums here and most people said even if they were close with their FMIL they felt it was awkward. I think certain things are pretty intimate (like that) plus I am surprising the bridesmaids, so why not her too? I feel bad but then also I haven't much involved anyone. If my mom asks me stuff, fine. My mom said FMIL can help with the bridal shower and when we need to construct our favors. IF my FMIL even texted me and asked if I needed anything I would probably say no not as of now! But if she showed more interest I'd try to include her. All she asks when FH is on the phone with her or if I see her is if I found a dress yet or what color dress my mom will wear.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

WeddingWire article topics