How important is the best man speech?

It's as important as you want to make it

eta: Some of your guests may be relieved!

We totally skipped the speeches. Not important in my view. I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable doing a speech (they were both shy). Seriously no one will notice if you have one, or none.

Only important if you want it to be important I've seen them skipped totally.

Not having a best man speech is not a big deal in my opinion.

Not important at all. As a guest- the fewer speeches, the better.

Why would you be pissed. This is not the sword to fall upon.

Not important to your guests.

My best friend's wedding only had me give a speech because the best man was too shy for public speaking. I was the only speech of the night. It wasn't a big deal. The only thing I would suggest is that your MOH try to put in a little bit more about your FH and not make it all about just you. She should at the very least end in a very general way about both of you instead of making it only a toast to you. It's not a big deal.

Is there a reason that people are going to think that FBIL doesn't approve of your marriage? I would never jump to that conclusion just because he didn't give a speech, honestly I probably wouldn't notice.

We are skipping them - we will, as a couple, say thank you and that is all. Short & sweet.

My father does not want to give one, FH's father is deceased, and neither of us really want our MOH or BM to be put in an awkward situation.

The less toasts in a wedding the better.

FH's best woman is super, super uncomfortable talking in front of a crowd, and we wouldn't dream of asking her to give a speech. I haven't decided yet whether to ask my MOH to give one. I don't think anyone will read anything into it, one way or the other.

They are not obligatory, and it will not look bad. Perhaps your FH told him he didn't have to as BM would be quite nervous about it? People will write a speech or say something if its something they want to do. Speeches or toasts should be from the heart - not forced.

I can't for the life of me understand why you'd be "super pissed" about this.

Guests hate sitting through tons of speeches anyway..

I think it's extremely unimportant. If his brother wants to give one awesomeness - but it's for sure not mandatory- and personally even for the 2 weddings I have been MOH and the 4 I have been a BM - I never have. It's not my jam and I would be very uncomfortable doing so.

Your guests don't want to listen to 40 min of speeches and toasts. If your friends want to - cool let them and be done.

It's a silly thing to be upset about.

I'm pretty passionate about not having any speeches. I'm actually kind of nervous to tell my maid of honor cause I think she'll be bummed.

My MOH of isn't doing one. It doesn't bother me at all. She's super uncomfortable giving speeches and I'm not going to "make" her. I wouldn't be that worked up over it.

We did ours at the rehearsal dinner and it was one of my favorite memories, we were all crying after my best friend and matron of honor and my sister, MOH, gave their speeches

I don't think it's really that important. FH best man gets social anxiety when he's around a lot of people so I already told FH he can always skip the speech. I'm sure everyone will know he approves of your marriage since he is the best man.

As the bride I would be disappointed if either our best man or MOH didn't want to give a speech, but I definitely don't think your guests will mind or jump to any conclusions. If I even noticed as a guest, I would assume he was terrified of public speaking and forget about it. Something that I don't like as a guest is more than 3-5 minutes of speeches. If I were you I would express my disappointment to FH, and focus on why you were looking forward to hearing it rather than why you think it's bad that he doesn't want to give one. In the end if he still doesn't want to do one it will make your MOH's speech even more special.

We are skipping speeches, its not a big deal at all.