How important is a dress code?

We did not really care what people wore to our wedding, though whenever anyone asked about our dress code ahead of time, we replied with cocktail attire or semi-formal attire, and also put it on our website. We didn't ask anyone to avoid any specific colors, and we didn't want guests to feel like they had to buy something new to wear to our wedding just to fit a dress code. Looking back, I honestly don't remember what most people wore at our wedding off the top of my head, I just remember who I spent time with that day, along with the conversations and laughs we all shared.

As a guest, I appreciate it so much when a couple puts a formality request on their website/invitations because I overthink my outfits.
So because I appreciate it, we decided to put a “casual” dress code. We gave suggestions based on the venue environment because no one wants to potentially ruin their nice shoes in mud or grass . And based on the timing and weather (morning, summer) for our out of town guests.

My wedding was not black tie nor were there any venue restrictions, so no dress code was necessary. I've never been to a wedding where people were dressed inappropriately including my own, but if anyone had been it would not have been my problem.

I don't care what people wear. Honestly I'm getting married in a barn. Even if it's a ~fancy~ barn.


I also don't know how to word it, will probably put "wear something comfortable to dance in!"

Hoping no one shows up in their old wedding dress. 😂

We put semi-formal on our website just to have something because people were asking. I attended a wedding six years ago(!!!) that I don’t think had a dress code but I still to this day panic about being underdressed (it was my first wedding I attended as an adult, so some rules went over my head). But we put more details on the weather and reception floor conditions because our priority is that everyone stay comfortable.

We had a dress code "suggestion" - Smart Casual. We then did a detailed description on both the website and the information card enclosed with the invitation. It basically said no suit or tie required, it's on a beach. We DID request no jeans, cut-offs or shorts. I had flip flops at the base of the beach entrance for anyone who forgot about proper footwear. From what I remember, everyone looked super casual, comfortable and yet dressy at the same time.

As a guest, I REALLY appreciate a dress code or some type of explanation/expectation.

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I'm the same. I will err on the side of overdressing rather than not be dressed up enough. I appreciate too when the invitation states the formality. It helps everyone, even me! I actually looked up "formal attire" thinking it was more formal than I thought - actually it's a dark suit for men, cocktail dress, dressy pant suit or long dress. When I was in school, a "semi-formal" dance was when girls wore fancy short dresses and boys wore dark suits. A "formal" dance meant girls wore gowns, boys wore tuxedos or dinner jackets.

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"Formal attire" has become a totally meaningless term, varying wildly depending on the source. It used to mean white tie, while semi-formal referred to black tie. Now "formal attire" can mean anything from no jeans to ballgowns. For a formal affair, the correct term is black or white tie. But if someone tells you their dress code is formal I would clarify.

As a guest, I prefer a stated dress code and am not offended. I get uneasy in it's absence if the venue and invitation are ambiguous, and I don't know the couple well. If I have to ask my husband, forget it. Dressing well is showing respect to the hosts so I bring out my good jewelry and a modest shape. If the couple is more artsy and lively, I'll be more creative in a cocktail dress or a jumpsuit. If their culture is more colorful and present in the ceremony, my husband and I will go with color and/or ethnic formal dress. I would love to wear the same thing to weddings, but often I go with what fits and not too sexy at the end of the day! My husband chooses from his tuxes, color, and tie style suited to formality. He has one navy suit that he wears to Church funerals.

Our wedding was black tie optional, an accepted regional term. Formal wear and formal weddings are common for both of our sides, but with pandemic weight gain, we were like wear what makes you feel comfortable. Many came in creative black tie, suits with kicks, classic tuxes, native dress, evening gowns, and high-low's.

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I'm sure you're right so to be sure, when I receive an invitation that says "formal attire", I actually look it up, along with info about the venue. Typically, I will wear a cocktail dress or a long simple black lace dress with a velvet or sheer jacket or fancy shawl - weather depending. Hubby will wear his formal black suit, white dress shirt and a paisley print silk tie. I also have a ball gown and he has his own tuxedo which we've had for years since our first black tie wedding - my niece's. I have plenty of things in lace, crepe, velvet, chiffon and accessories that I've collected over the years so I just "shop in my closet". I'd rather be slightly over-dressed than under-dressed or I'll take a simple outfit and dress it up with a sequin purse and sparkly earrings.

I feel like dress for venue is the way to go. I usually semi formal for pretty much everything I go to. I’ve only been to a few weddings and they were all cocktail or semi formal. Obviously if it’s a beach wedding, you’d dress for a beach (unless it’s said otherwise). My venue is a ballroom and very art deco, glamorous, romantic, 1920s, so my attire will most likely be cocktail and formal attire. Now, if someone dressed differently, I wouldn’t care, you might stick out, but I won’t care. I will probably put formal/cocktail dress on the invitation.

No dress code. My guests were adults who are capable of dressing themselves comfortably and appropriately. What other people wear have no effect on the enjoyment of a wedding day.

It’s important to me. Ours is black tie optional— optional only because black tie means tuxedos for men, and I know not every man owns a tuxedo. I’m not delusional enough to expect someone to buy a tux for my wedding.


It’s a glamorous event at an upscale venue, the night before New Year’s Eve. So I do want people to wear tuxes, suits, and long dresses. But I won’t kick anyone out for doing less.

We were on the fence about a dress code before opting for Black Tie Optional. In our families and friend circles, weddings are unspoken semi formal/cocktail by default, similar to what is seen in the movies. And because they are all sticklers for traditional etiquette, any dress code that is not semi formal/cocktail is shared by word of mouth and not put on the invitation, without any issues. Only those who don’t care about anything or anyone other than themselves will show up in tshirts and jeans, so we were not worried at all because they were not on the guest list. Everyone we invited knows how to dress appropriately and we didn’t have to hold anyone’s hand to give a mood board of what we wanted. Our families and friends don’t do websites for weddings either, regardless of being tech savvy, so that method doesn’t work and we knew making one would be a wasted effort, including information from other friends whose guests didn’t read their website and they had hoped that would cover all details instead of insert cards which backfired. No one whispered about other guests, even the ones wearing white, and no one was inappropriate.


As long as people made the effort to show up, we didn’t care what they wore, nor has it ever been an issue at other weddings. At the end of the day, social media and wedding related articles online cause more stress than they alleviate, especially if you stray from the norm of what your guests are accustomed to.