How "Flakes" contribute to bridezilla moments

@christina and jm I agree with you. I googled "best man duties" and other wedding party "roles" . I believe certain people in wedding parties have particular responsibilities other than "get dressed and show up."

Well then Monica if they don't perform their "duties" up to expectations then they should definitely be fired I guess.

Those lists are made by the wedding industry designed to make people spend money but ok.

So are you saying the BM and groomsmen brought up the idea of doing a bachelor party for your FH since last April, talked it up, sorta planned it ( as in guy talk of, "hey, we should do this, oh yeah, that'd be cool!") and then a few months later let it slid by no longer mentioning it? Did they ever pick a date? Or was it all talk with no set date? I could see how they raised his expectations, he probably got excited the more they mentioned it. Are you sure they aren't planning anything closer to the wedding like God forbid, the night before the wedding? (As popularized on many wedding movies and TV shows and that idea should die a quick death).

It sucks if they talked it up, raised his expectations and then let him down. But a lot of guys don't have bachelor parties, my H didn't have one. If it's important to you and FH, maybe you could text the BM and ask him to take fh out for a drink after work this week--buy it is your wedding week so it probably wouldn't be the throw down slamming party his BM & groomsmen probably talked up.

BTW, those WP duties are either really archaic from before the 60's and no longer apply or were created by the wedding industry to grab more cash, or both.

Hey date twin! Try to relax and focus on the big picture...that's what I'm trying to do at this point.

I've had a few hiccups along the way (who hasn't?) but the goal is to marry my love and celebrate with our dearest!

I get that you're disappointed about the bachelor party, but "Remind me to return the favor in the future" attitude is unbecoming at best.

Bachelor party isn't mandatory.

I noticed a trend. People who often have these misconceptions that their wedding party has roles and responsibilities often end up disappointed and feel let down by everyone. Just pick your bridesmaids/groomsmen based on what they mean to you and not based on what they can do for you. Leave the planning to the two people getting married and realize that while pre wedding parties are fun nobody is owed them and not everyone has them.

Sorry that they flaked on him. Whether it was their duty or not if they committed to it then they should have followed through. (As that is what friends do). No one likes their hopes built up just to be let down.

As it relates to individuals stating they are not coming because they do not want you to pay for plate they may not have known that your final count was due so early. Unfortunately though as the person paying you do feel it is a waste of money since you cannot get it back.

Let these things go and focus on your big day. Less than a week to go and you get to marry the man of your dreams.

Oh yes Google, the that and Pinterest are the Bibles of validating bad ideas.

There should be no expectations that your wedding party does anything but show up and look pretty. If they offer to help or throw a party, you can choose to accept or decline. Lower your expectations and you may still have friends after your wedding.

Will you still be married at the end of the day?

Oh. Okay.

You'll live, as will he.

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It's your wedding.. YOURS... giving duties to your best friends for your day... uh yeah I don't want to give jobs to my friends, I give jobs to people I'll pay...

@jacks I never said the wp had to go above and beyond. I just said that it's propper etiquette for them to help with pre wedding events. I don't think anyone should be"fired" for not doing enough but I would definitely be disappointed in my friends if they made no effort to do anything. My friends would never dream of doing nothing but showing up though. Every one of my bridesmaids were excited to start planning.

Agreed with @chaos, they aren't required to throw a bachelor party.

My FH didn't get a bachelor party either. He said he didn't care but I think he kind of does. Sucky that they didn't do anything for him... especially since he's already planning one of his groomsmen's bachelor parties for a month from now. :/

UO: I would be pissed too. You can't say you wouldn't be totally disappointed if you were anticipating a bachelorette/bachelor party and in the end it doesn't happen.

I think it's ok to be disappointed, but what got me was the comment "Remind me to return the favor in the future." That level of pettiness can destroy friendships.

You also stated: "I'm griping about the bachelor party because they set him up to anticipate it since April only to let him down this week. He didn't want a bachelor party and his groomsmen pushed the issue...since April"

If the groomsmen and BM felt he didn't want one and wasn't interested ( as was stated he didn't want one) then they perhaps decided to forego it. If he was obvious about not wanting one, then they knew that and didn't throw one. If I knew my friend didn't want one, I wouldn't push the subject.