How far did you go over your budget?

We set a budget when we first got engaged and now realize how unrealistic it was. I had no idea that everything was so expensive, our budget for what we want has already doubled because we now know the actual costs of things we were hoping and from what I've heard this happens a lot. I did do some research before setting a budget but it totally comes down to where you live and what's available to you. Once we started going venue shopping we had to adjust our budget accordingly. So far we have been sticking to this new one but I need to get get off Pinterest ASAP because I keep seeing all these cool wedding ideas. I swear sometimes Pinterest is the GD devil. Too bad I'm so addicted to it lol

To each their own. I'm pretty sure that most brides on here are responsible enough to know that if they over budget, they can handle it. If you can go over budget and be okay I applaud you not judge you because after getting to know the people on here I don't think anyone is planning on going into debt over their wedding.

Slightly under budget, thanks to family and friends.

Nicola - What I meant by the mortgage comment is that it must be nice to live somewhere where houses aren't averaged at $600,000 for a starter home. More envy, than snotty... but okay..?!

"I mean, $5000 is a lot of money. It's no pocket change. Or maybe it is, maybe you (again general you) are so rich that it's a drop in the ocean. But that's eight months of mortgage payments, or a new car. I just find it mind blowing that people can be so carefree about money!"

Okay, so I paraphrased the 'rich' comment....but that's exactly how you came across. I never said $5000 isn't alot of money. $100 is alot of money to me. I am spending $50,000 on my wedding. That does NOT mean I'm being 'care free' or that I'm 'so rich it's a drop in the ocean'. You were making a very generalized statement, and it really isn't your business to judge how much or little people spend.

And what assumptions am I making about brides with smaller budgets??? I didn't make any assumptions whatsoever. I explained why I'm spending the amount that I am... which is ridiculous in itself because a)I don't need to explain it. and b) it shouldn't matter what your budget is as long as you are doing what you want. Some people want things that cost $2000 and some want things that cost $150,000. I just don't understand why you need to be all high and mighty because you have a small budget and you're acting like you're better than everyone else because you're not 'care free about your money'.

Get over yourself.

Just commenting on the house price thing - trust me, I get that location is everything. The place. FH and I live now we rent, but I know when the owner bought it, it was for $599,000. And it's a one bedroom apartment essentially. But it is on the beach on a tiny island in the middle of the Caribbean. So...yeah. Land here costs a bomb.

When we move to the US where FH is from we're looking at places in Northern. Michigan. I'm a writer so being near a town isn't necessary, and we want land so we're going out into the country. Land is cheap. Places we're been looking at 20 times the size of the place we live now are around the $120,000 mark.

I'm also from London originally, so I definitely know about expensive property. $5,000 dollars in London probably wouldn't even pay a singe months mortgage.

As for karebear87 - I am not high and mighty because I have a small budget. I DON't have a small budget. 15k to me is not small. But I stand by my point in this thread. I don't give a flying fuck how much you spend, but I do find the attitude of 'yeah, we spent like 5,000 dollars more than we thought we would, whoppsies!' a bit odd. I don't care if you want to spend 50k on your wedding. If you've got it, good for you.

But the consumerism of 'you must have xyz in your wedding or you'll just die and screw the budget' I find concerning.

I am not saying that if you can afford those things you shouldn't have them. You should. If you can afford them. I'm not jealous or envious of big budget brides. I know their weddings will be stunning, and good luck to them.

But I stand by my comment that it must be nice to be able to go over budget by 5k and not worry about it. Not 'it must be nice to be so rich' because I ain't exactly poor. But it must be nice to have a different attitude to money. To be able to be relaxed about spending more than you planned, because that's never been my way. I'm a penny pincher, not because I have to be, but because I grew up with a Dad who was the opposite and it put the family in serious difficulty more than once.

Anyway. Let's forget the actual figure for a moment, because perhaps that's where this is getting tricky. Instead of 5k, let's talk about percentages. If your wedding budget is 10k and you go over by 5k that's overspend of 50% of your budget! Now translate it to your wedding, that would be a 25k overspend. Would you say whoopsies if you spent 25k more than you planned? I don't think you would.

Anyway, these are just my opinions, you can think I'm 'judgy' if you like. Or being high and mighty, or whatever. But I stand by them.

Wow, you live in the Caribbean right now?

And this, my friends, is why our elopements are up about 40% over last year. The media, the blogs, Pinterest have convinced so many couples that if the bridesmaids don't get a cute invite box, if there aren't STD's, before and after parties, favors, photo booths, striped straws and up-lights, it's a crappy wedding. That much pressure makes many people insane, uncomfortable and rebellious. They just crack, and I hear this ALL the time.

Guess what? It's not. It's an absolutely fine wedding and you're married at the end of it, which is really the point.

I see more and more couples who are just completely uninterested in spending thousands of dollars on people they don't really know/like and being mired in wedding planning for a year or more for one party. It doesn't mean they don't have the money or don't love a good party, it doesn't mean they aren't going to pay for their kids' college (that's another whole thread....) it just means they have different priorities. Whether or not their your priorities is simply not on the radar.

@Janeen - yup. Been here about 3.5 years now. FH has been here 8! Small island called Little Cayman, part of the Cayman. Islands. Tiny island about 10 miles long and a mile wide slap bang in the middle of the Caribbean Sea! He's a dive instructor and the diving here is out of this world.

But it's crazy expensive cos it's so small. We pay $1000 a month for a small one bedroom place. But it is on the beach.

My view as we speak...

@celia - that's kinda my point, I've just not been expressing it very well! I mean about how you don't need these things to make a wedding. If you can afford it, great, but I find it concerning that people will go wildly over their budget because they think that they HAVE to have everything.

I totally get eloping Celia. I did it the first time.

Wow that's pretty! My ex husband bought his house in michigan for 135 and with taxes and insurance his payment is over 1200. Just keep that in mind as well. The taxes in northern michigan aren't as bad as metro detroit, but 5k only lasts him 5 months (and not even 3 here in Maryland).

I do have to say that I agree with you and A&J about not blinking about going over by 5k. I would definitely notice and depending on the item is, I would care. I turned down the florals, draping, and production team (literally a production team) to get the decor up to my "vision" because it was an additional 20-30k. I also turned down $300 extra for chiavari chairs in my ceremony location. But....I added something like $440 for a mini coach to take the guests from the rehearsal to dinner in order to avoid them all having to rent cars. Initially I did not have a videographer, but we found one for $1200 who is an up and coming recent film student graduate. I chose a more inexpensive DJ in order to lessen that impact. I'm not having a cake, which according to my budget was another $800. But yes, I have gone over by choosing that coach, choosing to pay for the hair and makeup of my bridesmaids, choosing to buy them stoles and jewelry.

I live in Michigan and it is a very affordable place to live

I live modestly by nature, I'm paid a pretty nice salary and I have a 2 year engagement

I can afford a lot more now this year than I could when I originally set my budget.

Also, my budget was set based on what I wanted to spend, but not based on what I could afford since we like to have cushion

We decided to go on our dream honeymoon which put us over our budget, but there are no regrets and just in case...

I just raised my budget, Now I'm under budget. Problem solved lol

"I just raised my budget, Now I'm under budget. Problem solved lol"

Hilarious! Love it!

@Celia, you make a good point. There have been more elopements in my family recently and I didn't understand why until I started planning my wedding. There is a lot of pressure on brides to do unnecessary things. For FH and I, having this wedding is a priority. We have been pretty good, with focusing on the things that are most important to us and not being easily swayed. After all, we will only do this once.

$5,000 is 16 months of mortgage for us. Seriously - our mortgage payments are $300. Combination of a townhouse and putting half down. :-)

@janeen - yup, super pretty.

http://www.caymanislands.ky/aboutcayman/littlecayman.aspx

If anyone wants somewhere a little different for their honeymoon? But you will need a big budget. Average cost is about $500 per night!

So it isn't the norm to put your honeymoon in your budget? Thank god because that's what was sending me into "okay f***" mode

I started out at $10,000 for 75 people. Promptly increased to $16,000 and 100 people. Then added another $1000. My parents gave me $2,000 as their contribution and I just added it, then added probably another $1500 or so. Never in my life would I have imagined it lol and we are "budget" for my area and this does not include a honeymoon or mini-moon or my boudior shoot or any of the diy stuff I have bought

Also, @Nicola, I can be so "careless" with going so far over budget, bc I have the cash to spend... your remark was condescending and offensive whether or not you intended it to be. Most of the "carelessness" is people having no idea what weddings really cost and entail when they set a budget

@ Celia-YES!!! I slightly envy my recently engaged friends who immediately decided on destination weddings...which for people in our area, culture, and sorority is wise because guest lists will have your budget sky-high.

Budgets are a beast that must be tamed. Thankfully my FH is better at this than I am so we are staying on track, as well as being blessed by family offering help after we had already created our budget and savings plan. No post-wedding debt here!

Budgets are personal to me. My budget would seem extravagant to others while to others frugal.

We set a budget and will be over by $10k or so BUT we can afford it as well as the new home we are going to buy and it doesn't do a thing to our savings. We took care of our priorities first. The wedding is the icing on the cake. I will also say that our wedding is more than just about us saying "I Do". It is a celebration of life. We've been through a lot medically to get here. For that victory we are willing to pay whatever to share that day with our family and friends.

I don't think everyone who goes "over budget" is careless about it. We made deliberate choices to go over budget. We didn't have to, their were cheaper alternatives that would have been just fine. I also penny pinched through the entire process (bought off the rack for my dress, got deals on vendors, chose a venue that didn't need decor, we didn't do flowers.) and I penny pinch in real life. We chose an amount that we felt was reasonable, and could have stayed under it, but through out the planning discussion we decided we wanted to upgrade our meal and add an extra open bar the first night (our wedding was a weekend at an inn).

The importance of a budget is different for everyone. Some people can't go over budget, without severely affecting finances. Some would rather use that extra money towards other life events/important so it's important to not over spend or go over budget, for others all that stuff is already accounted for, so that extra 2K, 5K, whatever is available without ramifications. We have a vehicle, a paid for house, kid, our educations, a lofty savings....we pulled from the extra we had and could afford while still keeping all of that. And it was still a decision we hummed and hawed over for a while first, an didn't actually make the decision about until a week before it was needed.

There were things we were willing to be flexible about and things we weren't. I wasn't willing to spend over $500 total on my dress, and I didn't. I didn't want flowers, so I didn't have them, waste of money to me.

Really looking at any thing in a lot of weddings you could have the same attitude - I am always in total shock to see people's flower budgets. They're just not important to me (and I don't think flowers are "pretty", either) so someone spending thousands on flowers seems ludicrous to me. HOWEVER, that's my own opinion and I know to others they are very important. Not my business. For me that would be careless spending that I could never justify, but to someone else it's a high priority.