How do you politely say you're not invited.

"We haven't set a date yet"

"We're planning a small, intimate wedding"

"We are still deciding on the guest list"

I've seen some ladies on here with really good suggested phrasing, better than what I could come up with. But basically something along the lines of, we wish we could invite everyone, but due to budget constraints (or size of the venue), we're keeping the wedding small with mostly just family. Of course that doesn't work if you're having a 300 person wedding. But if you're having less than 100 it's a little more believable.

I've been telling everyone its immediate family only due to the fact I have a large family, but when we return from the honeymoon we can catch up.

"Due to space and budget limitations we had to make concessions to our guest list. We wish we could have invited everyone we know to share in our joy but know they are with us in spirit."

While people haven't come right out and assumed they were invited yet, I've had people ask me all the details of the wedding such as where it is, when it is, how many people, the colors, ect. and answering those questions and talking about it makes me feel awkward and guilty for not having them on the guest list. I do my best to change the subject as smoothly as possible and that usually helps.

Same as FutureMrsC...I'm experiencing a lot of questions about the wedding, which leads me to believe the people asking might assume they are invited. I keep telling people (even those who ARE invited) "We are having a very small wedding, we'd love to invite everyone but we have a pretty small budget, we're celebrating with our immediate families" Things like that. I'm hoping that the more I say it, the more word will get around and hopefully those relatives that we only interact with a couple of times a year won't be expecting invitations. I do anticipate some drama about this, especially because we are having adults only and no plus ones for single people. But that's a whole other conversation...

I'm careful to leave out the line about budget, just because you run the risk of having a particularly rude person say "Oh, I promise I won't eat" or "Well I'll cover my plate, just let me be there!". I just say something about having a smaller wedding and a limited amount of space, and change the subject.

I've been telling everyone the honest truth, I have a large family, 125 people on my side alone. We have 150 people with just family. When we return from the honeymoon, we are taking all our friends to the pub to mingle. Its the truth. We are inviting maybe 10 close friends. I can't invite 90% of the people I would like to because of the size of my family. heh

We don't like you and you're not invited; why would you even ask?

no, seriously, you have many great lines here already.

I actually just had a friend send a FB message asking when my wedding date was. Obviously, we have set the budget, guest list and venue so those aren't things I can say. I'm not sure if she was fishing for an invite or not, but she was on our original guest list but sadly had to be cut. I said something along the lines of "our date is sept 26 but due to venue and budget, its mostly just family". She's sweet enough that she may not have been fishing, but I wanted to cover my bases just in case.

I have had one person say they will not eat they just LOVE weddings....I was about to kick him in the face. SOOO RUDE. Then a have a few friends who have been very assuming. I have not gotten the invite in the mail yet. What are the details? ---well I know one detail: you are not on the list. Ugh. I wish people thought before they spoke.

I've told people that "As much as we'd love to invite everyone, budget and venue capacity would make it very difficult."

Why would you get annoyed that someone is assuming they're invited? Be flattered. You can't invite everyone but don't resent it that they wanted to spend time with you, buy you a gift and share your happiness.

This is most ungracious. Be flattered. Tell them the wedding is small and you're sorry and move on. I mean seriously? Be nice.

When people did that to us, we felt sad, not annoyed. We even found a way to invite a few people who seemed a little desperate to come.

Ugh, this is the worst!

At my bridal shower on sunday, my great aunt (who I am not at all close to- for MANY valid reasons, who just 2 weeks ago flipped out on me because she found out my fiance is catholic, and I am baptist and said we were going to hell) cornerd me at my aunts house and flat out asked "where her invitation to the sinners wedding was". I told her that because of her views, we only wanted those who love and support our union to be there..... She got mad, and said she is representing my grandmother there (she passed 3 years ago) and I had to explain that there is no replacing my grandmother and she was never asked to assume that role for a reason!

It really all depends on the relationship, you can be nice, you can be an asshole, but you gotta be honest.

Tell them due to budget and capacity that you can't invite them. If you want them to come but can't afford it make a secondary list. That way if people on your primary list rsvp "No," you can add them to the list.

"you're on our B list, we'll get back with you if there is an opening".

Your daughter and I are almost date twins!! If they haven't gotten an invitation by now, they must be dense- they should just shut up and realize they aren't invited!

PS - B lists are extremely rude so don't take the advice from @Erica or @MrsA2B ^. I also don't like the lines that "we have a limited budget" (because I don't have a small budget), "we're having a small ceremony" (because we're inviting 150 people), etc. I just say "We wish we could have invited everyone but unfortunately that's just not the case!" with a smile on my face

I am a very close friend of the family...but wasn't invited. I would never hint or ask why, or inquire about details. But, we are very hurt. We have been through a lot with the family the past few years. With that said, it is awkward and I will be well mannered and positive...but this changes the relationship. An explanation would be in order...since save the dates went out, so probably not happening. Just know brides, it is painful to be excluded no matter the reason. Think it through for the long term... are they there for your family? If so, include them.