How do you interperet "black tie optional"?

Hi Summer! If the invitation says you can wear black tie (aka black-tie optional) then it is perfectly fine to wear a long dress! You may want to check out this guide for more information on black-tie weddings: Black-Tie Wedding Attire Defined: What to (And What Not to) Wear. Although it is a black-tie optional wedding, you can assume that some guests will come in full black tie including tuxedos and long dresses. I hope this helps!

I'm also going to a black tie optional in late September. I googled it and basically it came up as either a formal evening gown or a cocktail dress that is not too short and doesn't show too much skin/is more modest.

I still plan to wear a long gown because I definitely do not want to be under-dressed.

I think of formal dress with extravagant venue, valet parking, gourmet dinner and an open bar.

I see it as the event will be very formal so it is appropriate to dress in a long gown or tuxedos. However, the hosts do not want to force guests to wear something and exclude them. Adding that optional word makes it tricky. I have read stories on here where the bride and groom put that and no one dressed up at all. Or people who have put that and the event wasn't actually formal. You said the venue is pretty low key which makes me unsure. Personally I would wear a long gown since I would find any excuse to dress up!

I would personally would wear the long dress. Even if the venue isn't super extravagant maybe that is what they can afford but still want to keep the event as formal as possible if they put "black tie optional"

Maybe I'm cynical but, to me, it means the couple expects their guests to dress up but, has opted not to host to that level.

Since the venue is low-key I'd probably opt for a floor length dress that is simpler in design/material and keep the rest of my look understated or wear a cocktail dress that is a bit blingier (and add some nice jewelry/accessories).

If you're close to them, I'd just ask what the wedding party is wearing next time you talk to them. If they're dressing in black tie, you don't have to worry about being overdressed but if they're not then I'd dress down a level.

If you're not close enough to ask, I'd wear a long dress but choose a simpler style

I would stick with long gown or cocktail dress.

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Sounds like my thought process to a T! I guess if I can find a long gown that I like and isn't too...showy...I may do it! But since I was recently married and it's my husband's friend getting hitched, I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to steal the spotlight/relive my wedding if I'm the only one that dressy.

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Haha yep, that's what I'm trying to decide between!

IMO, the optional part would apply more to the men not having to wear a tux and instead opting for a dark suit. I would still wear a long gown.

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Hm I hadn't considered that! I know my husband won't be renting a tux for this lol.

View Quoted Comment Sorry lol, I think either is fine. Personally I would try and find a cocktail dress because I would be more likely to have something to wear it to again.

My cousins wedding was black tie optional and the grooms were both in tuxes with tails. The rest of the bridal party wore long dresses. There was a mix of people, some wore long very formal dresses and some cocktail dresses.
Personally I think whatever you’re more likely to wear again would work. You can always dress up a cocktail dress with some jewelry, etc.

View Quoted Comment I’m cynical too, I guess, cause this was my first thought as well. Black tie isn’t just a dress code, it’s a whole event. I always take this to mean “we just want people to dress up really nice and we’re scared someone will show up in jeans, so let’s slap the words black tie in there”.

Ahhhh my least favorite dress code!! How well do you know the bride and groom? I interpret "black tie optional" in two different ways - either "we really wanted to do black tie but we didn't want any guests without a tux to be annoyed so we made it optional", or "the groomsmen are wearing tuxes so if you want to dress black tie you're more than welcome"!

Since you said the venue is low-key and they're pretty country, what about a nicer looking floor-length floral dress? You can really play those dresses up or down!

I always look into the venue when someone puts black tie optional. They usually mean semi-formal. Based on your description of the venue and the couple I would do a nice cocktail dress with heels, more formal/evening jewelry & makeup